I need my girl back
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Posted:Sep 29, 2017 6:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:54 am
1183 Views
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You know the one...
A little bit crazy, definitely broken and you can't fix her.
I met her through a gaming group. she was a powerful distraction from the start. You know how guys get around pretty women, clumsily trying to engage in banter, careful about what they say regarding women. Even when it got raunchy, she kicked in a few good comments herself. Even had a direct conversation with her about her tits.
Nice they were. D's on a 5'9'' Frame, just skirting the edge of too large for her body, and definitely a "They're not real" conversation starter.
The frustrating thing is that we were playing at playing. What I mean is, I came right out after a few months and told her I wanted to be her lover. The weird thing is, she relaxed even more after that around me. Now I know that she's even more crazy (in a nice but unstable way) and I never did get past her defenses to see the real her and what she wanted. She never let me.
She also maintained this three-strike rule. You didn't know what you did wrong, she wouldn't tell you, and she wouldn't forgive you. So after nine months, six of which had some glorious fumbling sex, she 'froze me out'. Those were her words, I guess a warning early in the conversations.
I've been celibate since. Not really by choice, but I haven't been able to chase someone else down, and I'm no chicken dinner. One of the main reasons I'm trying the friend finder sites. I don't know how to get the inside track on posts like craigslist. Everyone says they're out there, but I know I'd either get a or a sting operation. Just my luck, don't wish to chance it.
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Looking but not looking like a jerk.
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Posted:Jun 26, 2017 10:47 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2017 6:58 am
1280 Views
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Long time, no post. Life happens, sorry.
So I was cogitating on the best way to communicate my interests. I can't, not really. I can couch it in flowery speech, but the message is the same. It's not easy to couch 'I would really like it if my partner could have vaginal orgasms, and actually like fucking without burying it in hangups.'
You're nervous, want acceptance for you body, i get it. Lady, if im trying to get in your pants, then you can be 100% positive that i have picked up that gauntlet. I want to see it, please it and take pleasure from it. You think I'm some winner in my own right?
The vaginal orgasms thing is a new one. Really deflates the mood if i know that everything i do, everything you say it does is utter bull. I want that connection, buried deep inside, eye to eye, and getting the timing down.
Since i can't cover it in roses, is it so offensive to say i just wanna fuck without lumping myself in with egotistical jackwads?
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Why So Serious?
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Posted:May 15, 2017 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:54 am
1455 Views
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So Im often asked why I do this sort of thing, where I bring up so much negative about myself. Well, It's about being honest, brutally honest about myself and with people. I want that out there, so when I do get to my better points about myself, people don't think I'm just fluffing my image.
Again, I recognize that there's much more to me, to everyone else here, but that's secondary to the goals this site promotes, and I would just like to see if I'm successful at that first, before I start getting 'deep' with people.
So, something good about me, hmmm?
I guess I'm pretty damn good at sex. Here's my hook; While I enjoy gratification, I don't enjoy sex so much as when I've already pleased my partner. It's easy to knock it out of the park when your girl's already had an orgasm. Hence, I'm all about learning how a partner likes foreplay, and it's almost a mandate that I go down on her.
If a partner's interested in a blowjob, yay, but fair warning: I don't receive well. By that, I mean that only until very recently have I had oral sex where I was stimulated to orgasm. It's always been pleasing, but no finish. Worse, I get halfway, and have no sustain for the main course. So I just like it left alone until I know she's finished.
Yea, it takes a bit of work, no one's perfect the first time around, but I'm willing to hold out and learn.
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Objective Objectification
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Posted:May 12, 2017 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:54 am
1369 Views
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I would like to address something I've realize about this early time in my life. I was objectifying women unintentionally. Not 'hey baby, I just want to fuck', objectify. I couldn't allow people near me emotionally. I had been the outcast in schools, the 'middle ' of a blended family (thanks all you therapists for providing the labels, if not any accurate solution), and a beaten stepson. I had learned even before puberty that peoole were things outside the self. They only hurt when they get in the boundaries.
Even at this stage, it is the same. Wisdom helps clarify my particular issue, but i make no illusions about 'love'. We serve each other's purposes. Even if it's bring friends, fwb's or significant others. I try to not be cold and distant, but i am not really about around others anymore. I really do enjoy being the quiet, reserved type.
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Average Joe, No Really
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Posted:May 11, 2017 5:26 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:54 am
1440 Views
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In my first post I make myself out to be some sex-crazed pervert. Well, that's only part of my personality, but I thought it important to bring that up first. It colors everything my life has been, if only for being in the 'have nots' section. I thought it appropriate given the site. I also thought to try and provide an entertaining read. Hopefully the truth, for those interested in reading, will see that I'm pretty much normal, just always focused on the wrong things, at the wrong time.
So imagine this significant portion of my identity repressed to fit into the world. Not appropriate, and when it did come out in the naive way that experiencing sexuality for the first time, it was addressed harshly. I was...experienced, in a way that dumb teens think they are. I had consumed every literary piece I could jerk it to. Never any experience with the real thing, until turning 16 and met my first real girlfriend. We waited two months, mainly because I didn't pick up the signals that she was willing.
There is a commercial in Europe where a woman is looking for something, climbs over a guy sitting in a chair, straddling his head to look in a shelf. He sits through it calmly, face inches from her, and the real joke comes when she pulls out her underwear from the shelf. That's a good example of how obvious a girl has had to be for me to get that she's interested.
Well, after that first time, in which I went down on her, it was 6 months of sex, usually at least 2-3 times a week. very hard to manage with school, a mother, and brother. but damn! Of course, there's more to a relationship than that, so I was also able to receive my first big heartbreak. I would dwell on that for two years, and it would affect me for a decade.
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Desert, or Just Me?
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Posted:May 9, 2017 5:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:54 am
1518 Views
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I've visited a time or two, never for long, out of curiosity. That and a temptation to exercise the side I never get to express of myself. I guess what always put me off is the paywall. I mean, just to see messages? really?
This time is different. I've allowed the monster to play, so to speak, and now it wants more. I know it sounds creepy, but please, bear with me. I guess it should be a quick intro.
So I've always been plagued by what everyone would melodramatically call a demon of lust. One of my earliest memories of childhood was finding one of my mother's old hustler mags. She was sexually voracious as well, and always kept a stock of toys and mags near her bed. Of course, ever the hypocrite, heaven forbid we look at them. Of course, in hindsight, she was trying to raise us right.
9 years old when I first orgasmed. I'd been pulling pork for a while, but never finishing (when you don't really understand what's at the end, the process is quite enjoyable). My aunt and cousin had assumed I had fallen asleep on the couch, but rather I stayed up listening to them read a book together in bed (nothing weird, just sleeping arrangements were sparse at my aunt's). I was possessed with an innocent fantasy of sex with both of them, and pretty soon all those special muscles spasmed in release.
That was the birth of the monster. I would forever be consumed with sexual desires, the need to get to that fantastic end.
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