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rm_guavabutter 50 / F
"Taking Applications for potential boyfriends- SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY"
Santa Clara County, California, United States
 
Standard Member
Last Visit: More than 3 months
Member Since: October 4, 2006

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Status
rm_guavabutter 50/F
Santa Clara County, California
Introduction
Thank you to all my friends that I have met here. There have been some truly fond memories. However, I am now only looking for a boyfriend. That being said, this is obviously not the venue to do that. G'luck to you all, have fun and be safe. (o)(o) guavabutter ---- the following excerpts from my writing are for entertainment purposes only. --- a recent ad/listing: [b]30 something channeling sex in the city characters[/b] [color royal blue] as my trip down the aisle to meet bob barker has not materialized, and my invitation to walk down the aisle has not been sent after 3.5 years of courtship, i am reluctantly in the market for a friend of sorts. before you start sending out the cock shots and fwb invitations . . [COLOR crim]STOP. [/color] i am a professional woman with a job and an education. NO i do not think that i am out of control obese and do not need your help. YES i am looking for an intelligent man. I do not live alone, and you will not be meeting my family. I am keeping busy; but not too busy for companionship. HOWEVER, if i do not respond or am quiet during conversation then YES we are not right for each other. if you get the humor, then you will get me. . . have multiple lacerations to my face from the loud banging biological clock in my head. am stupid; uses her bachelor's degree as a coaster. educator turned phone attendant. was in a swimming pool with an ejaculating man and now has a . drives the ultimate soccer mom vehicle: a beat up old volvo station wagon. does not appreciate crotch shots; they all look the same. not lying! really am huge. am only good looking to my mom and the neighbor's blind cat. knows how to put on makeup, but will also fall asleep with it on. am easily bored. will ignore you if ugly betty or grey's anatomy is on, as that is the most action i have had in years. can be found fantasizing of falling asleep in the arms of incredibly handsome, intelligent, loving, affectionate financially secure male. . . . but most like will be crying, lonely and holding a pillow. torn between the gs i wanna be loved (eric benet) and i don't wanna be in love (good cte) as the soundtrack of my peral life. in general, am very happy with my life, but that will change when the meds wear off. am partial to being a dramatic storyteller, my life sounds more exciting then the reality. need to remind you that objects in the mirror are larger than they appear (have removed all mirrors from my house). do not live alone and have sent 30-day eviction notice to the voices in my head. if you reply, you either are my twin lost at birth (fishes for book deal), as broken as i am (looks for duct tape), or in the same line of work. yikes! 87? [/color] ---- [COLOR crim][B] dear neighbor, thank you for that great performance. i was sitting at the computer working on projects when rhythmic knocking started on our common apartment wall. and lo and behold, the distinct sound of female panting could be heard. i appreciate that you did not scream loud enough for my 15 year old in the next room to hear. what a relief that i did not have to share embarrassing dead silence for the (oh let's estimate) 30 to 90 seconds that it took for you to finish off. also a side bar, perhaps you can work on his stamina later. in addition, thanks for not playing any music, especially the cliche marvin gaye or rick james, to mask your moaning. luckily, my tv was loud enough, after i managed to max out the volume, to save you from further having to "fake it". normally, i would say that nothing could be more horrendous than having to listen to my neighbor having sex. HOWEVER, it was a welcome distraction from the 2 or 3 commercials, about vicerex the herbal enhancer for ED (erectile dysfunction) that must have spanned your adult play. subsequently, after 3 or 4 failed attempts at suicide by clorox wipes to get that creepy, crusty scenario out of my head, i was blessed with the sound of you opening your window. which is the universal symbol for "it is hot, i am done, get off me" . . . or at least that is what network omni igbo translators have told me. in closing, i would just like to tell you that i enjoyed this time that we shared together. please feel free to give me notice about the next performance or just bang on my wall again. i would appreciate it if you give me more than 30 seconds notice so that i may fetch some snacks and perhaps light a candle for ambiance. and also if you wouldn't mind saying something instead of just panting - i was beginning to think that there must be a feline with asthma outside of my window. warmest regards, (o) (o) guava[/color] [/B]

My Ideal Person when i grow up this is what i will be looking for:

i am looking for males in the 33-39 age range please. looking for a SINGLE, AVAILABLE male. that is non-negotiable. you will need to include a photo with your body and face.

ideal man is witty, easy on the eyes, can hold his own in conversation ranging from flirtatious to deep, is compassionate and has just a splash of cockiness.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Too Many to name

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Information
  • 50 / female
  • Santa Clara County, California, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Looking For:  Men or Women
Birthdate: March 4, 1973
Hometown: Na Hono a'o Pi'ilani, Hawaii, United States
Relocate?: Prefer not to say
Marital Status: Single
Height: 5 ft 6 in / 167-170 cm
Body Type: A little extra padding
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I don't drink at all
Drugs: I don't use drugs
Education: Some grad school
Occupation: Hawaiian
Race: Other
Religion: Catholic
Have Children: Prefer not to say
Want Children: Yes
Bra Size: 38 / 85 B
Speaks: Chinese (Mandarin), English, Japanese, Hawaiian
Hair Color: Black
Hair Length: Long
Eye Color: Brown
Glasses or Contacts: Either
My Trophy Case: