I want to be seen, I want to be heard but mostly I want to BE!" I want to go to bed at night and not be wondering why something feels like it is missing, I want to find a way out of the oubliette that has become my world! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\** I find myself rethinking some things in light of this morning. I have had to ask myself what do I truly want, taking out all the fetish wants and needs , what do I truly want? Well I think I have it figured out! I am a switch (I know dirty word in the BDSM world but there it is). I have a dominant side that I have already fulfilled, I have a little wolf pet and a baby boy and they are all I need. But the point is I want a Master, (if female then more old school butch) who has the ability to understand and love the complicated person I am! One who will be able to control me, not thru pain or humiliation but thru the fact that they KNOW what makes me tick. One that can with a word or look tell me exactly what I have done right or wrong! One who will treasure me for the unique person that I am. I am not gonna put a label on the type of Master I am looking for because labels limit things. I want a Master who can give me time, who will guide me, punish me, praise me, love me and soothe me when I break. I know this seems to be what everyone wants but the point is, its what I want! I don't care where you are, age is a factor but only in the sense that at 41 I am active as heck and I need someone who will be active with me. I am hurt by the fakes who keep using my good nature to help themselves and then hurting me and leaving! I long to be cherished and valued and sitting at the knee of a Master who will do that!**