So, here I am again compelled to explain some points about myself. First off, I am no longer married again, therefore, available. My first wife died of starvation. The next one died of boredom waiting for me to come home. My third wife was luckier, she just left me. The fourth one did the same but I found out later that she did so to live in with my third wife. When I confronted them about it, the only explanation they gave was they wanted so badly to have . I found that totally crazy since I told all of them upfront that I am as sterile as a brand new Petri dish. Besides, if they wanted to have , why would they insist on purely having anal sex with me? I've always tried to be supportive of all of them though. The first wifey had illusions of being a movie star. But the only acting credits she can claim was playing female lead in Godzilla and the Seven Dwarfs. That's not counting the time she had this accident that required her to be in a cast. She kept nagging me about helping her to make it to the movies. Even claiming that she would love me for the rest of my life if I was able to help her. Little did I know that she would try to shorten it. I guess she got the hankering for that after what I told her: Her self-esteem was so high, it needed a pilot's license. But her acting skills were so low, on the other hand, they needed an excavation permit. The second one was equally droll. In fairness to her, it was a dark time in my life but she hung on. She was there everytime I fell. Doing her darned best to prevent me from getting back on my feet again, the merciless bitch! Definitely, her social skills leave much to be desired. Why else would she get into a lover's quarrel with the other party while we were in the midst of a threesome? It was with her vibrator, at that! The only reason why she got elected president of her high school alumini class was she was into a home study program. And, to think, I forgot all about the fact that before we hooked up, she was such a loose woman. And, even before that, she was such a loose man! Wifey No. 3 was such a civic-spirited person when I met her. That's why I fell for her. It was her most endearing attribute, undiluted by the fact that it was brought about by enforced community service on account of a string of misdemeanors. But, at least, she had this very determined look while giving fellatio. The sparkle in her eyes reminded me of moonlight bouncing of a razor. As for Wifey No. 4, what can I say? I guess she never did like it when I kep saying "That's an interesting concept." everytime she kept pestering me to get a job. As for giving blowjobs, she would have none of it. She kept insisting she was a vegetarian!

My Ideal Person Looking for the perfect woman...older and smarter than me. Low-maintenance and suture-free. Aptitude for Scrabble, contract bridge, crossword puzzles and backgammon will be a plus.