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dragon I said if you look up that giving gifts are done when you get Married!!!...not at a divorce ceremony ..lol
another thing is I don't see anything wrong with teaching children to work cordially thru a divorce/a fight or anything that they may come across in life..as parents I think it's best to give our children the tools they require to be able to handle themselves..maybe then we won't need counseling..now I have no idea what this self fulfillment is all about because my point is we do what we must for the BEST of the children... and focus on THEM.....I don't think any two people going threw a divorce enjoys standing side by side and ending their Marriage is being SELFISH....this is done to help the kids remember the love that they as a couple once shared ,so maybe the kids won't feel like their parents now hate each other...other thing why let the kids go on seeing such bitterness & their parents feelings displayed Daily?....if one of our kids was in a bad relationship or marriage and we saw this...Wouldn't we do something about it to end the pain we would see our child go threw?...when we consider what is best for the children...I think their happiness should be higher up on the chart..I respectfully appreciated your thoughts Dragon...this is what makes great conversations that we all don't think alike ~hugss~ | ||
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Okay here's my opinion since I am in the process fo starting my divorce. My husband and I have 3 kids 16, 15, and 10. Couseling should be mandatory for kids involved in this. My 16 yo daughter is handeling this amazingly well. She has stated she doesn' want to spend time with her dad. This is her choice, I made her see him the first time after he left and that was it. She has no desire to even talk to him on the phone but she does very briefly. She has discussed this with her counselor and is fine with it. My 15yo has other issues that prevent her from comunicating how she feels but from what we see she too is fine with it. My son is another story entirely, he is not handeling this well at all. He sees his school counselor when ever he needs to talk even daily..He sees his other counselor once a week. He is finely talking out his feelings. The biggest thing I have to remember is not to bad mouth his dad. It kills me at times to keep my mouth shut(you all know how i love to talk) but i do it for his sake. Several of you have allowed me to vent to you. As far as some kind of ceramony good idea if the divorce is friendly. Otherwise I wouldn't do it. In my situation it would turn into a really big fight which no one would benifit from.
The point of my long winded speech(sorry) is each situation needs to be handled individually depending on the need of the child. I discuss more with my daughter than my son she can handle more than he can. If he askes me questions i answer honestly but as simply as posible.
Sorry about how long this post was but you asked...*smiling*
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