Brain switch in the wrong position.
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Posted:Apr 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 8:38 pm
20185 Views
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Okay, every once in a while I get stupid. I mean really really stupid. I haven’t been on The Book in a very long time. I just don’t pay attention to it anymore. A few months ago I accepted a friend request from someone I thought I knew from high school. I accepted the request and kind of ignored her from then on. She was decent in high school and all but I’ve been kinda burned out on catching people up on my life when they couldn’t give a damn about me back then.
Turns out I was wrong! Yup, she’s a friend from HERE!!! I didn’t realize it until tonight when I logged on to fb for the first time in like a month and she had posted the same pic there as she has here.
In my defense, she actually does have the same name (though different spelling) as that friend from high school. To make matters funnier: on the path to realizing who she was I wouldn’t let go of the thought that it had to be that girl from high school in Miami. I truly thought she had moved all the way up here and I was having trouble matching the personality I knew from high school to the personality I’ve gotten to know from here. I spent a good 20 minutes being very confused. I’m gonna go have a drink now – my brain hurts.
Girl, I’m so sorry, it wasn't you I was ignoring! Please don’t cut my hair as revenge!!
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Life lesson
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Posted:Apr 20, 2010 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2010 7:28 pm
20300 Views
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I’m quite gullible. Shocking, right?
When I was in my mid 20’s I had a minor situation that helped shape a great deal of my life in a major way. I was the manager of a store in San Francisco’s Ghirardelli square. A friend of mine worked on the other side of the square and I used to hang out in his store with him often. His store sold Alpaca merchandise, rugs, sweaters – you get the idea.
One day I came in and more than ½ of his rugs were gone. I asked him what happened and he told me that someone had stolen them while he was downstairs in storage. I quizzed him about the calling of security and he let me know how pissed the store owner was. In my mind I had that little thought that he was pulling my leg. But I convinced myself that it wasn’t true. This guy and I were very close – he wouldn’t be that mean.
But he was. After about a half hour of discussion he told me that he’d been pulling my leg. That the store owner had picked up the rugs to take to his other store. He laughed about it and told me I shouldn’t be so gullible and that if I wanted to get through life I should have thicker skin (not the first or last time I’ve heard that).
I gave this a ton of thought following that conversation. My gullible nature had been used and abused many times in the past, once so bad that I cut off everyone in my life who might have been friends or more. I reflected on that too. It took me a while but I finally realized that it isn’t my issue. I should be able to take people at their word. There is no reason people need to take advantage of my nature but I know they will. I will get hurt. I will get upset but I will get through it. And overall I know I’m the good person I wish to be and more importantly I can be proud of myself.
The trick has been to assure the people I allow into my life, my inner circle, are the type of people who would not take advantage of my desire to be accepting, open. This is not easy and I have worked hard to protect myself. As a result there are very few who are truly in my inner circle.
Since joining this site I have come across some who I would never let in deeply enough to hurt me. I have also been fortunate enough to come across some who I consider friends. Some who enjoy my conversations, my sexuality and who have not trespassed on my trust. The more I am here, the more I know I made the right choice. I could have easily cut off the world again but there are so many people I would have missed knowing.
So for those of you out there who mis-represent yourselves; who bend the rules to get what or whom you want either for fun or because you think you have to in order to get anyone, let me assure you that you will end up in the cold. Your friendships will be shallow, your conquests fleeting and not deeply satisfying. Though you will leave a trail of pain or disappointment in your wake it is you who will live with those feelings in the end while the rest of us enjoy the warmth of our friendships as we recover.
Be careful who you deceive. In the end the cost of that deception will be yours to bear and the nicer your target is, the higher your cost will be.
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Does Promiscuity Shake the World?
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Posted:Apr 19, 2010 6:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2010 9:01 pm
20394 Views
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I’ve said some really stupid things in my time. I’ve done so in public too because we all know shyness does not become me. But nothing could top what I read from the Associated Press today. This quote got me all up and out of my chair today so I obviously need to share it with you.
Promiscuous women cause earthquakes.
"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.
This guy is an Iranian cleric. What’s more, according to the article I read, Iran is one of the most Earthquake prone countries in the world. Yup, Iran – the place where women are not seen or heard but rather remain covered nearly from head to toe at all times. Yup, those obviously promiscuous women really make that country shake!
Just when I think my ex-husband is a real idiot someone else steps up to raise the bar on stupidity!
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Weakness overcome by delete button.
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Posted:Apr 18, 2010 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2010 1:36 pm
19883 Views
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It isn’t very often that I check my filtered mail box here on Passion. In the beginning I did, all the time. But then I ended up with a date I shouldn’t have given in to and series of e-mails from one character that got me so belligerent I simply deleted everything in my filtered box.
Turns out I missed someone good.
Thankfully he wrote me again and we were able to connect. I think he still enjoys kicking me for how much more time we could have had if I hadn’t done my mass deletion.
Lesson learned. I will scan through my filtered before doing a mass deletion, which was today’s task. I’ll admit a possibility exists there but I’m cautious for certain. My filters are in place for a reason, cause without them I’m just too damned weak.
So there was one very nice e-mail from a gentleman coming to my area who wants to have dinner with me. Nothing more, just dinner. My profile is clear that the ‘in town for the night/weekend’ guys should move along. I’m looking for a connection, not a one-nighter. But to have a night out for dinner would just be nice and as I said, I’m damned weak.
Then I noticed – he said he was an older gentleman. Not a problem except that he’s 10 years my junior. My head now hurts at the spot where it hit the table. He read my profile enough to address the whole ‘traveling man with needs’ issue but not enough to notice that he’s NOT older than me?
I feel a major mass deletion coming on! Someone needs to remind me why I read them first!
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Lipstick? There's no lipstick in football!
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Posted:Apr 16, 2010 9:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2010 5:28 pm
20196 Views
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Yup, I'm a proud football mom. Stereotypes be damned I love football, it only makes sense that my would too. But he's still my and the contact part of the sport - not so much. He's been playing flag football for almost 3 years now. Last season his team won the champs for the league. The trophy is almost as big as he is.
Tommorrow is the first game of the season and I am so happy to be back into that piece of our lives. We had practice tonight and a soccer practice was going on at the other end of the field. I happened to make some observances between the two groups that I thought I'd share.
Warning: If you throw Sarah Palin and her "hockey mom, hear me roar" crap at me I'll hurt you!
How can you tell if you are at a football practice and not something like soccer? Easy, if the adults are drinking - Football. Our Team Mom's responsibility includes supplying us parents with booze.
Soccer moms bring snacks for the . Football moms bring snacks for the single dads on both sides of the field. The know where the vending machines are; they're on their own!
And of course the more food & drink you've spilled on yourself the better your is too since you're jumping up to cheer him on so much. That might be standard in most sports though so I'll let that one slide.
So my little 'crazy legs' flag puller is back into it tomorrow, what do ya think his chances are of wiping 'em out?
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Forget Texting, what about thinking while driving?
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Posted:Apr 12, 2010 8:09 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2010 8:11 pm
20094 Views
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First of all, I survived the Catholic Mass Wedding in Palm Beach. I�ll tell more later, but I wanted you to know who saved me from the lightening strike I was sure would happen. While my elitist New Yorker relatives dressed dapper and looked as if they were attending a polo match with the Queen, my dear sweet 23 year old cousin wore a bright red -dress to the wedding. Complete with 5� glass heeled stilettos. This dress, a very small table cloth really, was so short in the back her ass cheeks stuck to the pew and so short and cut in the front her pubic hair was probably fluttering in the breeze. I felt so good when I saw her. I felt saved � in a church no less. I knew that if lightening were going to strike anyone in the church it would be her. Whew, I dodged another one!
Why don�t motorcycles come with automatic transmissions? No, I�m serious here � educate me. It�s obviously possible right? Scooters have one (okay so they�re slow in comparison) so surely there IS a way!
Why is it at a 4-way stop sign 75% of the drivers there are idiots but when you add another party to the mix the odds don�t improve? Why do I have to be the only sane person at even a 5-way stop sign? I go through one every single day to work and though the idiots rotate I can�t match up with one that has a good driver discount on his insurance?
My is in 2nd grade and came home with a report today notifying me that she�s reading better than most of the 6th graders. My �s teacher has requested a conference with me to get him into the gifted program. No, don�t congratulate me yet� I�m a little freaked out! I mean usually they don�t know everything until they are teenagers. If they keep advancing like this I�m going to have my stupid box check marked long before then!
A friend of mine recently had an implant done for a tooth that was pulled a few years ago. She was pre-approved for the insurance before the procedure. This week the insurance company changed their minds and denied the claim. Their reason: because she had a tooth at one time in her life and this was not disclosed in the initial paperwork. I smell Obamagate baby!!! Here we go! They may not be allowed to deny her insurance but they can deny every claim made against it!
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Open in case of demise!
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Posted:Apr 7, 2010 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2015 7:57 pm
21434 Views
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This weekend I am driving with my family down to West Palm Beach for a counsin's wedding. As I am about to be subjected to a lengthy Catholic Mass I feel the need to prepare for the inevitable lightening strike. So I figured it was time that I came up with:
My last will and whatever else comes to mind (and not legally binding either)
I would like Tazzerman to be in charge of distributing my porn, sex toys and unused condoms to those in need. Nobody is better at assuring all have exactly what suits them best. He also gets my feet, although that�s kinda sick without the rest of me alive and kicking- so to speak.
I leave my cat to ODB. He needs more pussy and loves the little hairballs. I also leave him my extensive music collection. There are few in my life with such an eclectic taste in music as mine and he is one of them. I also leave ODB my Congressman Ander Crenshaw e-mails. Stay on him for me! This poor statesman with a brain but no real power needs true magnificence to persevere.
Zandigal gets all of my camera equipment with a couple stipulations. My HD video camera must capture at least one jack-off video from my favorite Canadian Mounting Man (you know who you are). The camera is craving just such an experience and he has a special 100th blog post he�s trying to get done.
I must also request Z take a trip to NH to see RG. His little gray cardboard cutout is hunky and all but I must know what the real man looks like!
Z, you get all my poetry (yes my perv friends, I write poetry too) and previously written but never shared erotic stories. Please, disseminate or destroy as you see fit. Any royalties for the erotica should go to my fireman as he inspired most of it.
Enots can have my eyes so he always has at least one watcher when he cams. 
Fen can have my toilet. I hear he needs an extra one these days. He can also have my recipes. Don�t worry; there aren�t a lot of seafood recipes in there. 
Iwant2lickuthere can have the contents of my liquor cabinet. He�s always wanted verification of its full status. I must also ask that he stop by Culhane�s Irish Pub to announce my demise. They�d want to know and I have to get him there at some point! Bangers and Mash baby!!! I think he might need my car too since his is such a lemon. 
The employee privileges that come with my job may be passed along to fritzwins so he may always have a place to play golf when he needs to call in �well� to his own job. I�d offer him my smile too but with these braces it wouldn�t be a great one. 
Curious1_4u can have mine and my �s airline tickets for my end of summer trip between JAX, SAN and ORD. I think he finally deserves three seats across after all his travels. Just don�t puke this time.
Oh there�s more but the post is getting too long. If I come up with any before the Priest tries to get me to confess my sins (or molest me) I�ll post them! If I don�t � have a great weekend everyone!
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My Blogger Road Trip!!
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Posted:Apr 5, 2010 6:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2010 10:09 pm
20687 Views
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So there I was last night driving home from North Carolina thinking about what my best road trip could possibly be. First order of business would be to have a few troublemakers along for some fun.
Oh yeah… I am so up for a hilarious femme roadtrip!
So who would be in my van full of fun?
Z Zandigal as my partner in corruption of innocents would definitely have to come along. Of course she would try to cut the hair of every guy we came across, somewhere in between beer massages. Notlikehereither and Ariel ArielLight1178 would argue over who is the most demented. DG DirtyGirl411 would jump in on that one with some fucked up story about Clowns or midgets and a cuss fest would of course ensue. That is right up until we hit some truck stop and a good looking piece of manhood goes in to get a shower. Then they’d be fighting over who gets what part of him.
Lady T Ladytatas would guide our workouts and provide some excellent meals along our road trip – I’m thinking spice rubbed male personally. Red would take good care of us, carefully screening our conquests ahead of time. Of course she’d want a piece of the action too, I’m sure.
We would go all over the country, making sure to visit some gentlemen in NH, TX, Il, IN, WI, MN and VA (not necessarily in that order). You know that is not at all a complete list either!
We’d want MrsR ThatsMrsR2U along of course to provide the commentary for the drive however with her being preggie and all, she will have to be an honorary road tripper. We don’t want to have to explain to Mr. R how noglette was born a Canadian citizen due to a side jaunt to Ottowa. I’m sure ODB thinks we’d be there to provide him some entertainment but truthfully we would be there to recruit LB. We might have to paint her green and dress someone up in a Kirk uniform but I’m sure we could arrange it easily.
So tell me, would you like to be a stop on our road trip? More to the point, will you bail us out when we need it? I dare anyone to survive a van (okay a very full fan) of us entering your city.
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Easter Bunny is Exposed!
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Posted:Apr 3, 2010 9:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2010 7:38 pm
20568 Views
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We all know the Easter Bunny isn�t real right? I don�t need to pre-empt this with a �spoiler alert� statement do I?
I�m not sure I ever believed in the Easter Bunny but I thought it was important for my parents to think that I believed so I never said anything. Then one day my mother, while reading the Sunday paper, asked if I still believed. Not knowing if I was ready to lose the basket full of presents I quickly said that I still believed. At that point she handed me the comics and told me to read a certain one. This one showed the dad transforming into and out of an Easter Bunny costume to hide the basket. I think my mom was a little put off that I wasn�t upset.
The tradition with my entails the �Easter Bunny� hiding their baskets in very odd places. Places they talk about for a long time but that have a little meaning. My �s was hidden in her hamper because she never puts her dirty clothes in there. My �s was hidden in the shower because the bunny obviously thought he could use a shower. One was in the dishwasher � �maybe the bunny was telling you to load the dishwasher before you go to bed�. It�s always funny.
Easter has never been a big holiday and for me and the last year was just another day. It didn�t occur to any of us to go searching for the baskets until the next day when their classmates were discussing what they got in their baskets. On the way home I�m listening to my whisper to his sister. �Now we will know for sure if there really is an Easter Bunny. If mom forgot about Easter, than she forgot to hide the baskets. If there really is an Easter Bunny then the baskets will be hidden somewhere in the house!� I knew I�d hidden them and was now stuck with the dude for a long time!
This year we are up in Charlotte at my parent�s house. There are many places to hide the baskets up here. I�d decided on great locations and had the baskets sitting next to me on the floor while watching the Duke game. I was just waiting to get up the energy to get up off the couch and hide them. I look up and see a small dark head peeking over the balcony upstairs. My had been in bed over an hour and were exhausted. But I guessed my was refusing to sleep so he could sneak a peek at the game from up there and I couldn�t let that go. I yelled at him, which of course made him look all the way over and see me on the couch with two Easter baskets right next to me!
I think my cover is finally blown but won�t know for sure until tomorrow.
So tell me, when did you stop believing in giant bunnies who don�t even lay eggs, fill baskets with presents or hide them?
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Can you calm me down?
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Posted:Mar 27, 2010 5:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:05 pm
21221 Views
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Those of you who have read some of my earliest blog posts know that I endured a great deal of ridicule and bullying for being the only white girl in a black neighborhood. When I was older we moved near an area known as �Little Havana�. Here I endured a different kind of ridicule � for speaking English. Even something as simple as ordering dinner in English would get me dirty looks, crossed arms and clicking tongues. Such intolerance is the entire reason I do not live in Miami anymore.
Through all of that I never got angry. But what my has gone through this week has got me raving mad and even after a couple of days I have not calmed down.
This week my was told by his school mates that he could not play a game with them on the playground because he did not believe in God.
He actually hasn�t decided what he believes in yet. I�ve been very clear with him that there are a wide variety of opinions and that he should develop his own, regardless of what anybody else believes, including me. In fact, I do not share my own opinions on religion with him. I�d like him to make this very personal decision without being influenced by my beliefs. He has done very well educating himself in the matter but has not come to a conclusion yet.
So for him to be shut out for not signing on to the prevailing beliefs in our area absolutely angers me beyond measure. He did let the teacher know what happened. To our disappointment the entire incident was ignored by the teacher and the school staff; isn�t Public school wonderful?
So I ask any of you with to please discuss tolerance with them. Not a single one of us is the same as any other, we all have differences. Those should be celebrated and enjoyed, not ridiculed or cause isolation.
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Won't you fill my bubble?
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Posted:Mar 25, 2010 10:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 9:30 pm
20499 Views
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Wooo hooo, I've made it to the big time!
Yup Busty's newest contest has me as a nominee! And of course being the wise self-marketer that I am
I am now begging!
Okay, I only beg for sex. Can I just say I'm asking nicely for your kind vote?
Here is the link for her voting post:
[post 2268168]
Please click and then click again (you know, where MY name is?). So that I at least have a decent showing?
Thank you, thank you
(and thank you for whoever nominated me, that was sweet.)
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Mary Jane taught Cheech all about Art!
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Posted:Mar 24, 2010 9:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2010 4:29 pm
20022 Views
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I love Celebrity and Jeopardy. Those are the only versions where I actually have a chance at getting most of the questions right. I do okay on regular Jeopardy but I could take on a Celebrity or a and whoop �em easily! The only exception � Art. I am clueless on the subject of fine Art. I know a few but unless it�s a favorite I�m lost on who did what, when and how. It isn�t due to any lack of being taught. I started out going to college for Architecture. First Class � Art History. Then when I went back to school for Advertising � talk about art fanatics there! But none of it remained in my head. It went out the window as soon as the grades were entered (and they were great grades too!). I am simply Artiodic!!
So there I am watching Celebrity Jeopardy last week. I�m a little shocked that Anderson Cooper was doing as horribly as he was (he�s a cutie by the way so I forgave him a little). But here he is all worldly and intelligent and he got beat by who? Cheech!!! I you not � Cheech Marin had him beat before the first round was halfway done! Cooper will never live this one down.
Sure enough there is an entire category for Art, and Cheech got almost every one of those questions right. So that got me to wonder � would I be more knowledgeable about Art if I were a pothead at some point in my life? I�ve never done drugs because I never found a reason to; but this� this could be it! I could be all Art smart if I just lit up? I�m sensing a medicinal need here� my brain cells must regenerate (wait, that doesn�t seem right�). I�d obviously have to share it with Anderson Cooper though, wouldn�t I? Maybe he�ll get the jitters and hit the buzzer quickly this time!
Go ahead name your artist I�ll take a look and see if I can remember anything about them later on�
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Will Work for Alcohol & A Babysitter
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Posted:Mar 23, 2010 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2010 8:37 pm
20195 Views
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Friday all hell broke loose at work. By 9am I was instructed we had to do a major mailout THAT DAY (the next if necessary). We�re talking creating, printing, assembling and mailing to 4,000 homes with no notice whatsoever. The Board decided they needed it NOW. And guess who is in charge of NOW?
I spent the day avoiding the complaint machine that my brain turned on. I ended up working a 12 hour day Friday and another 8 hours on Saturday. Much of that time with my wandering around my office running their own complaint machine. By Friday 5pm I�d convinced my boss that overtime was needed (blame it on the whim of the Board) and had two of my co-workers helping me.
Still with hours to go my boss decides to go and see how dinner service is going on the other side of the Club. I make some remark about the fact that if he comes back he better either help us or have some strong drinks for us in hand. He sent over the bartender. Each of the three of us got a drink and the got Shirley Temples. Let me tell you I think that was the best damned Martini I have tasted in a long long time.
By 8:30 I called a close to the day and took my tired home. But we weren�t done and I had to go in Saturday to finish � no co-workers around to help this time. By the third hour the end was in sight but just as I was wrapping up another directive � 60 new signs created and put up right away. I told my boss that his wife had to watch my if he wanted me to work anymore (our sons are best friends). Sure enough I took my over for a playdate and was able to work in peace. Boss leaves at 5 and reminds me to pick up my from his house at some point. My and I take off a half hour later and by the time I got to my bosses house the margaritas were flowing and a chair was ready for me on his back porch.
I have a good boss! He knows the secret to me� Keep my happy, keep the drinks flowing and I�ll do almost anything!
What would it take to get you to come in and help?
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To link to this blog (wittywoman) use [blog wittywoman] in your messages.
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