Blowjob Whiplash
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Posted:Dec 23, 2009 8:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 8:28 pm
22037 Views
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On my last post I hinted at it and here it is! The piece about excessive masturbation maybe making for poor blow job recipients.
Here's the deal. Peri (see prior orgy posts) had a special request and a favor for me a couple of weeks ago. A lunchtime visit to a gentleman who lives close to where I work. The gentleman had gotten word of my oral skills from an orgy attendee and had found a way to contact Peri to see if I'd be willing to give him a nice anonymous blow job one day during lunch. He said he'd never had a woman who can take him in completely and wanted to see if I could.
I complied with the request and am told he enjoyed himself but he was a bit of a challenge I had never faced before. You see when he would get excited he would take his own cock from me and start moving it from side to side very quickly - a true jerking off I guess. He did this several times and I had trouble keeping my mouth near him.
Now I have seen videos of guys who actually slap their dick against their leg or a woman in order to get themselves to cum but I had never encountered this need for such side to side movement and with such aggressiveness. There was no way for me to do that for him.
I began to wonder if it was a result of too much masturbation. I have been told that if you get into a routine and use that very same routine/style too frequently you become desensitized to any other routine or style. I wonder if that was the case.
I mean should I ask for a report from potential men on how often they masturbate in if they ever change it up a bit? "I'd like to know if you are clean, drug free and have a wide variety of masturbation techniques please."
I know everyone is different and I've encountered many who are unique but I this situation got me to wondering. I could see why this gentleman had never been taken in whole, the woman is afraid of whiplash!
Am I off base here? Anything sound familiar from all of your experiences? Help me out, how's a girl supposed to give a good blow job to man like that?
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Splat!!
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Posted:Dec 19, 2009 8:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2009 3:25 pm
21654 Views
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I�m taking a page from Tazzerman2000�s blog and handing out my own brain dump. These are just a few thoughts that struck me today in no particular order�
Why don�t they make stockings for women with long legs? Are there really that many women with short legs? Are they the only ones who warrant sexy clothing?
I�m starting to believe that men who jack off too much or too aggressively may make for poor blow job recipients � oh wait, that�s a full on blog post for another time.
I love licking an ice cream cone while driving. The looks I get from others on the road is such a turn on. Even dropped a bit of cream on my boob tonight (totally by accident).
Comparison shopping for a TV for my . Store clerk asked me why I was writing down information when I could just use my camera phone to capture the tag/product. How is it I was raised by the techiest man on the planet yet I don�t think of a high-tech solution for the low tech way I�ve always done things?
Someone once asked Jadzia Dax (Star Trek- DS-9) if her spots go all the way down. How come nobody has ever asked me if my freckles go all the way down?
Driving American cars feels so much sexier than foreign cars. The Toyota was a better car, handled better, better quality but nothing compares with the feel of power American cars have.
I miss having a stick shift - though it doesn�t mix well with eating an ice cream cone while driving.
Hangovers suck. I enjoyed one too many of my own mix of chocolate martini last night at an office get together. Good thing I was walking distance to get home.
I saw some guy in Virginia was convicted of indecent exposure in his own home. I have two friends who live in Virginia so I had to check to see if it was either of them. It wasn�t but I wonder what I�d say or do if it were. �Hey how come I wasn�t invited to walk by the window too?� Okay truthfully that would only be for one of the friends. The other one could go streaking through his country club and I wouldn�t lift my eyes to look.
Passion has a disclaimer on the main blog page that says �Blogs that are simply personal ads� are not allowed�. This makes no sense to me. Aren�t we all advertising ourselves on this site? Blogs are a great way to know more about someone � isn�t that advertising?
I love to step out of the car and smell that my neighbors have a fire going. I want a sleeping porch so I could fall asleep to that smell. It doesn�t smell the same from inside the house even when I have my own fire going.
I think my cat needs her own Christmas Tree so she�ll quit rubbing up against mine. She knocks down an ornament every day by shaking the tree like that!
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Morning Cravings
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Posted:Dec 16, 2009 11:18 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2009 3:26 pm
21293 Views
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It has been my experience that most men wake craving sex or food or both (discounting the need for a restroom break). Exceptions exist, I’m sure. I myself have been known to crave sex when waking as well, on occasion. But this morning I woke craving a song. Not just any song but a particular one - “I Will Not Bow” by Breaking Benjamin.
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away
And I'll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shut the world away
I woke up with the lyrics in my head. I craved the song so much I played it three times on my way to work this morning.
Can you imagine if I’d craved sex instead? Wait, how do those lyrics go again?
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The Ultimate Crunch
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Posted:Dec 13, 2009 6:16 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2010 6:08 pm
21662 Views
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#1 Dating tip: Do NOT total your car on the way to a date!
Yup, Friday night I was driving to meet my date. We had been planning this for a long time. His back pain, my back pain and scheduling conflicts had kept us from reaching this point and it was finally here. I was only a few blocks from my house when a slammed into me at full speed. She was following the line of cars turning left across my path, the three cars ahead of her had time to make the turn but she did not. She didn�t realize she didn�t have a lead and didn�t even notice I was coming. I could not stop in time and we hit each other HARD.
Now I know in light of my recent blog Driving Ms Cricket Speed on I�ve earned a few �I told you so� remarks. I�ll even give M_is_back full credit for calling this one before it happened. Of course I think I didn�t knock on that wood hard enough and probably jinxed myself!
Yes everyone was fine. Nobody hurt except my poor car. The 17-year old driver had a LandRover which did not have much damage. She was extremely apologetic and scared. It was only her second time driving at night.
So there I was in my date outfit (skirt, stockings, heels and no underwear and cute little teddy covered up by very thin top) standing next to my wrecked car in the middle of a very busy intersection�and what was I thinking? I was thinking of how much fun my blogger friends are going to have with this! Ahhh yes� I was thinking of all of you. Isn�t that sweet?
For the record my date was very nice about it and offered to come to me and take me out for a nice calming drink afterward. I elected to reschedule for the next day and let�s just say it was all well worth it.
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One fish, two fish, red fish - Wait, how do I do this again?
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Posted:Dec 9, 2009 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2009 8:45 pm
21456 Views
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When I was a I would tell my mom about some boy that I liked. My mom would get on me to stop focusing on only one. That I should like a few, try more than one. As I grew older we continued that pattern between us but I always had a good reason for only having one boyfriend � he was the only one interested in me! But Mom persisted �
�Date more than one� she�d say �So you can get the best of a few instead of just one.�
What Mom said didn�t matter to me much back then and now I laugh because I now know why she pushed me in this direction. She met my father in high school and became pregnant PDQ with me � they�ve been married ever since. She wanted me to avoid her life.
Through every relationship I have been the monogamous one (except for once). As such I don�t think I ever learned how to date more than one guy at a time. This was never an issue since never has more than one guy wanted to date me at one time.
Yet on this site � I could have several if I wanted but I�m lost at how to handle them after I�ve met someone I want to spend time with. Okay � that sounds a little overbearing� I don�t want a �boyfriend�. I don�t want anything with permanence to it and I don�t want a monogamous situation for either of us. But I�ve never learned how to accept a second invitation when I already had one in hand. I don�t want to keep up with who I told what fantasy to already or who likes necklaces and who doesn�t and what do you do if one likes you to shave your crotch bald and the other likes it more natural?
I got a call tonight from a man I enjoyed just after my divorce years ago. He and I lost touch but he called me out of the blue tonight asking to come over. I said no (Kick me now!). I�m hoping to connect with someone this weekend and I want to wait for that! Is that crazy or what? How can I be on this site with such a target rich environment and yet flip out when more than one at a time is actually interested? Do I have a lot to learn or what?!?
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Driving Ms. Cricket... Speed on!
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Posted:Dec 6, 2009 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2009 6:17 pm
22480 Views
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I’d like to state for the record before I get too far into this tidbit, that I have not been in an accident, nor caused one since I was a (you know I’m knocking on wood right now). I am a rather fast driver but also skilled to be able to handle those speeds.
I have come to believe the speed limit laws need to be reviewed. I’m told (and I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong) that the speed limit is determined partially by what the government has designated the area (residential, commercial, agricultural), mixed with the population of the area and the type of road being travelled. I’m sure there are adjustments made for frequency of accidents, proximity to school/playgrounds… I understand that. But here’s what I’m thinking:
Shouldn’t the speed limits be flexible based on driving ability too?
Each of us would be tested on our driving skill (not just on parallel parking) and would be graded on that skill. Much like we have special licenses for motorcycle or truck drivers, we could have graded licenses too. ‘A’ drivers are the only ones who can drive in the left lane and are permitted to go 15 miles above the posted limit. ‘B’ and ‘C’ drivers would be in the middle and the ‘D’ drivers must stay in the right lane and adhere to “D-class speed limits”. You would display a placard on the car you are driving to alert a cop not to pull you over.
The fact is, I’m a damn good driver. I do drive defensively and my skill has a lot to do with my excellent peripheral vision and my ability to react quickly to changing situations. This is a feature I notice a lot of drivers do not have but I don’t think it’s fair for me to be punished because so many do not drive well or do not pay attention when driving. Those who do drive well should be recognized for their diligence and abilities.
Okay so the idea is kinda “out there” and a little over simplistic but tell me what you think anyway… I can take it!
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Going my way?
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Posted:Dec 3, 2009 6:01 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2009 6:55 pm
21668 Views
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I have no ties to the Native Americans, no lineage (that I know of), no relations, nothing like it. However I continue to be fascinated by them (and its not just those tiny loincloths). Though there were many tribes, many families they had so many similar features and qualities. Though they had vastly different stories reflecting their morals the morals themselves were all quite similar among all tribes.
Whenever I am troubled or have issues beyond the ordinary I imagine what life was like back then. I spend time studying and putting my situation into their eyes. The simplicity of it all is quite comforting.
Among those I’ve studied are the Lakota ‒ many may know them as the Sioux. One of the stories that stuck with me over the years is how the Lakota explain what makes a person complete, whole.
They believe, as many tribes do/did, the four directions were of great significance. The north signifies wisdom and is often represented by the Buffalo (and the color white). South signifies Innocence and is often represented by a Mouse (and the color green). East signifies Illumination and is often represented by an Eagle (and the color yellow) and West signifies Introspection and is often represented by a Bear (and the color black). The Lakota believe that we are each born into one (sometimes a combination of two) of these areas but until we explore all of the directions as if we had been born there we will not be whole or complete.
I spent a great deal of time in my life determining where I come from, both in my youth and as I grow. From this I have determined one valuable lesson. I live waaaay too much in the West. I am constantly trying to figure out why I do things, what I was thinking or feeling - I just get too analytical about myself. I cannot claim that I was like that as a . I lived in the South then. I focused only on what was in front of me and did not look too far into the future or try to determine what consequences my actions might have in the bigger picture. I was naïve and although curious I didn’t let my curiosity gain strength until I was in my 30’s.
But I’m getting longer into the story than I need to. The point is, I can claim to be whole ‒ I have lived with the eyes of each one of these directions and yet I can’t stop returning to that introspective side of me. It is rather frustrating.
So now I wonder, do you know where you reside on that directional wheel? Do you find yourself returning repeatedly to one way of living?
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Jump My Bones Please....
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Posted:Dec 1, 2009 7:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2009 11:34 pm
22688 Views
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Okay so I’ve been keeping a bit of a secret. Yup ‒ me… no really!
I have a hip problem that makes me feel ancient. For those in the know it is an SI joint issue. Essentially my hip bone likes to get stuck and thus push against my tailbone. This is not a constant thing. In fact I have gotten pretty good at determining what makes it happen ‒ a little twist while leaning or bending a certain way. The funny part is when it happens it makes one of my legs shorter than the other until I can get it fixed.
The day before Thanksgiving I did something, I’m not sure what and I felt it ‒ BAD. In fact during Thanksgiving day when everyone was standing around talking, they were standing around me as I was lying on the floor trying not to be in pain while holding a conversation with those above me. Might as well serve the food on my body, I apparently make a good table!
I really did have a bigger point to this. My Chiropractor has fit me in tomorrow. He usually pulls out my bone (though not his own) three times over a week’s period and that sets me right. In the meantime though I am in pain. Some moments are worse than others and like an idiot I wore heels to work today. So now I’m really paying for it.
So let me elaborate on my Chiropractor. He likes to walk behind me and watch me walk. He says he can see a difference in my walk when I’m right. Sure…..
The first visit he did a full work up which included his standing behind me and holding my hips while telling me to bend at the waist without bending my knees. Purely scientific, I’m sure….
He likes to have me lay face down on this table that is so obviously built for sex. Each appendage can be moved by adjusting one part or another of the table. The middle section (under the hips) can be dropped or raised depending on what move he’s making and if he jumps on my hips he can set the machine to push me back against him! Like jumping my bones is work to him, sure…..
Sometimes in order to find where exactly I’m stuck he needs to spend some time poking around my ass; gently of course…
While I’m lying face down he likes to place himself between my legs, put my feet on each side of his hips and pull me in a jerking motion. If I didn’t hold on guess where my crotch would hit when I went flying?
Then, while I’m still face down he will often pull in the opposite direction, from my armpits like he’s pulling my face into his crotch…
Then after all that I’m told to lay very still while receiving a warm massage to relax my muscles. Who am I to complain?
The problem is, when I leave his office I am always incredibly horny and incredibly in pain. I often sleep on the floor for the night. So how on earth am I to enjoy this sexual awakening if my body wants to play elderly and decrepit for the night? Do you think he does it this to me on purpose? Oooooh do you think he knows how sexual his little act is and how horny it makes me?
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The Fairness of the Sexes!
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Posted:Nov 30, 2009 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2009 11:37 pm
22217 Views
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I am woman ‒ all woman. I have no desire to be a man.
HOWEVER….
Why is it only men can walk around without a shirt on in public? I mean if I’m out working in the yard and I get hot I can’t just go topless. Can you picture that? It wouldn’t matter whether I was a DD or an A, car accidents will happen and some cop will feel the need to write me a ticket (after wiping off his drool). I think it is totally unfair that men get this added benefit! Who made that rule, ‘cause I want in to the clubhouse!
And while we are at it ‒ why don’t men wax their beards? Women have to wax their eyebrows, their chins and lips because no man would like to kiss a woman or stroke her face if she has stubble or is hairy. WELL GUESS WHAT!?! Women don’t like that on a man either. Admitting the fact that there is visual appeal and often preference for a clean, hairless face ‒ why are women forced to use painful methods to get that result while men get to shave and present stubble? I think the scales have been tipped and I want a recount!
Now I will succumb to one item. Genitals ‒ I know we women have it slightly better. I feel sorry for men with hair growing on their extra appendage. I know I would never want a razor near such a sensitive toy ‒ but I don’t enjoy a hairy encounter either! Women are less likely to injure important body parts than men in the crotch region of course.
Okay so that one is a given but I have to put a minor disclaimer on there ‒ have you seen my legs? Imagine shaving those every single day (all the way up)! I mean with that kind of practice in a lifetime I’ll bet anyone would be an expert with sharp instruments. No I’m not shaving anyone’s penis!!! So just sit back down!
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Speech Speech Speech!!!
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Posted:Nov 25, 2009 9:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2009 3:27 pm
21740 Views
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I have always said that if I were ever awarded a big televised award (Emmy, Grammy or the like) my speech would be very simple and go something like this:
"I worked hard to get here; I have earned the right to be proud. I am very appreciative of the others who like my work enough to reward me for it and as I don’t know them I can not thank them in person. So thank you very much.
However I do not stand here to offer traditional thanks to anyone else. All others who have helped me along the way, all those who stood by me, supported or inspired me have already been thanked frequently and with more sincerity than I can provide here. I make sure to thank each and every person that does something for me or that benefits me in some way. As such to publicize one or a few would be unfair to the many others who have come across my path. So again I thank those who appreciate my work and bid you a good night."
Now I have no future plans to win any award of this magnitude and I didn’t have to give a speech when I won employee of the quarter. But occasionally I have to pause and look back to assure that I am keeping my word that everyone in my life should always know what I think of them. I don’t publicize it to the general public unless asked to, but I do my best to show all appreciation in my day to day life. It just so happens that Thanksgiving will be here in a less than an hour (in whatever time zone I’m in) so it is quite fitting to let each of you know how much you are appreciated. To single out names would be unfair but every single one reading this message fits into at least one of these categories…
To those who stop by, read and move on ‒ Thank you for taking the time. I hope I’ve made you think something interesting in your perusing.
To those who didn’t bother reading this far into it ‒ Thank you for waiting that millisecond before you moved on to something else
To those who challenge me or do not like me ‒ Thank you for keeping me honest and humble. That is the one thing I might need and never realize it, much less think to ask for it.
To those of you who have become watchers ‒ You bring me a little bit of giddy each time I log on and notice that number. Thank you very much.
To those of you who post comments and replies to my pieces ‒ You have made me realize that I can let that raunchy side out; that my dirty mind does not make me unattractive and can be entertaining. A humble thanks goes to you. You make me better at what I already find fun!
To those who have or continue to inspire my writing ‒ I can not thank you enough. You may be the subject, you may be the listener when I’m starting a thought, you may be the reason why particular images continue to pop in my head. There are a million things you do that you do not realize you are doing. It means the world to me that you exist.
To those who have met me or chatted with me ‒ thank you for making this fun; letting me be intelligent and making me feel very very sexy. You are a boost to my self esteem and most often the reason for a smile on my face (or a blush).
And finally to those who I have not yet met or chatted with ‒ Thank you too! Really ‒ you always make sure I have something to look forward to and make me realize that I have not yet done EVERYTHING in life.
Please have a very Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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Mile high thoughts escape!
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Posted:Nov 22, 2009 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2009 9:25 pm
21092 Views
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First let me provide and update. I am traveling this week. In fact I am currently in Chicago waiting for family to call me. That means my time will be limited until after the holiday. I actually have a couple of blog posts started (flight delays come in handy!) so you will be entertained soon...
In the meantim though... I would like to pose a situation for the pondering mind:
My and I were flying to California to drop them off with their dad. My is fascinated with science and so when I noticed that the soda bottle I had been drinking from began to cave in on itself due to the air pressure I showed her and we talked about how and why that happens.
A few minutes later my lips were feeling dry so I pull out my nice thing of neosporin lip stuff and when I opened it I felt the little tube suddenly give a little and white goo escaped the same way air escaped when we finally opened the soda bottle. Pressure must have built up in the tube too. Of course that got me to thinking.
I wonder what it would look like if a man had the tube of neosporin in his pocket when it pressurized like that. What if the pressure was so dramatic that it leaked white goo all over his pants.
Oh, poor thing.... here, let me clean that up for you. 
Hmmmmm.....
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Aggresive Playing... Bring on the Innuendos!!
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Posted:Nov 19, 2009 8:19 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2010 9:41 am
23384 Views
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Wonder what chirping here today? My brain happens to be focused on Poker today.
Poker?
Yup… is there really any card game more full of sexual innuendos? Games like 5 and 7 card STUD, where in a straight the Queen is usually flanked by TWO men, and sometimes the ladies are wild, I mean ‒ c’mon the game is built for sex! And face it; you aren’t often invited to play “strip bridge” are you?
But my particular favorite game is Texas Hold ‘em. I have watched this game for years, studied it and even predicted some of the stars moves before they made them. This has always been a predominantly male activity, I know. I’ve seen a few women make names for themselves but I ‒ now listen up ‒ I have the secret to winning. Oh yes… I have been formulating this for quite some time.
You see in a game like no-limit Hold ‘em you are playing the other players as much as the cards, maybe more. Sometimes players are defensive with their strategy. They keep their eyes behind sunglasses or something else to make sure nobody can read their reactions. Some are more on the aggressive side. They do whatever they can to distract the other players from their thought process. Most talk, some even start arguments or likewise. The women who have made it to the final televised tables have been trying to make sure they set a good example for others to follow them. They have yet to really explore the distraction technique.
That’s where my secret comes in. I’m going to use the sexual innuendo card to its fullest extent (so to speak). If a player might have two face cards I could describe what a great threesome I had the night before, or when one player is staring me down trying to read my reactions I’ll just ask them to rip my clothes off for real instead of doing it with only their eyes. Of course if the flop happens to contain two Queens I could discuss the two ladies that were just revealed on the soft felt of the table before us all. Or even better I’ll just reach under the table and crab their cock. I mean the game is called Texas Hold ‘em; I might as well HOLD ‘EM!
Some of these guys are really smart. I think the only way I’m going to be able to win is if I make the blood go to the wrong head for my opponents. I wonder if they’d be sore losers after all that or if they’d want to play me again? Hmmmm…
For the record, I haven’t actually sat down and played Texas Hold ‘em for real yet(only online). Wanna be there when I do?
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My innocent lips
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Posted:Nov 17, 2009 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2009 5:25 pm
21166 Views
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In order to get my point across on this one I’m going to need to confess something. I ask that you hold your shock and giggles until I’m done (okay so I won’t hear it anyway but still).
When I say I am reliving my uneventful childhood I’m rather serious. For my 40th birthday I got braces for my teeth. Yup ‒ while others were taking trips to Europe or throwing wild parties I was sitting in a very comfortable chair letting someone affix ceramic thingies to my teeth with epoxy I would never let my touch, must less put in their mouths. I never got braces as a and though many have said I didn’t really need them I could tell I did (and so could the experts). Of course I got the clear/white ones so you really can’t tell. I only have the top so far too and unless I am close enough to kiss you it’s not noticeable.
Sure at some point I’ll discuss how concerned I was/am about my particular oral talents and how they might be affected if at all. But at the moment I’d like to focus on a different but related visual if I may.
You see braces make my lips chapped. I had been using Chap Stick and Blistex like crazy to help but I had to apply it too many times each day to just keep the status quo from turning worse. Then they came out with this new stuff ‒ Neosporin for lips and that stuff has worked wonders. Once a day and my lips are back to normal. The problem is, it is thick and milky white and every time I apply it I am reminded of another milky white substance that I could be having in my mouth but I thought it was just me.
Today I was driving home after work, I stop at a stoplight rather suddenly and something falls to the floor in the passenger seat. I bend down to pick it up and resettle myself. I’m smiling like crazy due to a good song on the radio and I look to the car beside me and there is a man in the driver seat just staring at me, mouth wide open and an incredible look of shock on his face. I smile wider and his agape mouth turns to a smile too. I start thinking what a creep the guy is when the light turns green and we move on. A couple blocks later I come to another stoplight and a different car pulls up alongside. Once again I look over and the driver next to me is giving me the smiley look again ‒ for what I can guess is no good reason but this one winks at me too!
I get home, shaking my head in wonder the rest of the way and when I walk in my house and walk past my mirror I finally see what others have been seeing. A big drop of white goo on the edge of my lip. Yup it must have looked like some serious cum dripping to all of them. I knew it was my lip stuff but they would not have known.
So the next time you see a woman with white goo on her lips maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions too quickly!
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To link to this blog (wittywoman) use [blog wittywoman] in your messages.
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