Just feeling sexy!!
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投稿日：2005年 12月 20日 7:21 pm
最終更新日時：2009年 4月 12日 12:44 pm 4795 回の閲覧
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Hi all....... I am feeling soooo sexy this morning......a man friend came over this morning and it was so awesome.......we had great sex and I felt so fulfilled......that is such a fantastic feeling, I was on cloud nine all day long....only wish that I could find a way to make this feeling last.....WOW!!! it is so awesome!!!!
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Discovering Myself
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投稿日：2005年 11月 29日 6:24 pm
最終更新日時：2006年 10月 19日 9:21 am 4402 回の閲覧
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Discovering My Inner Feminine Self Lissa Needs
AS I am making my journey further into this world, I am realizing and learning so much more about my feminine inner self that I always knew existed. I have known since being a child that I was somehow "different" from other males , in the way I think and perceive others actions but my main difference I really have always noticed was how my feelings and emotions have always seem to have driven my actions and events in life. I have very powerful inner feelings that set the course of my life, both long term and day to day activities whether these activities are relationship or business related. It took a long time in order for me to understand how this inner self was actually guiding me in my life, that no matter how I tried to portray myself in the masculine world, my real spirit was actually much more feminine in nature, and then of course this sets up the real struggle that so many of us have to deal with everyday till we hopefully find “our place” in this world.
I am sure that the struggles that I have gone through are both unique to me but also similar to the countless other of my sisters who have had to deal with finding their place in the world. It is a long winding road with many curves, hills, and valleys with the occasional roadblock thrown in. Many times I believe this winding road is not only needed but absolutely necessary, it provides the checks and balances in a persons life that assure that what you are experiencing is not just a fleeting moment type of event in your life but, actually is much more far reaching.
As a child , I remember distinctly loving to putting on my mothers shoes, her ear rings even clumsily putting on some make-up, wanting to look as beautiful as my mother did. I even had a sister ‒in law who now I realize probably could sense this in me and she would help me, painting my nails, making me pretty, helping me to dress the right way. My mother was right there and never said a word, she would only smile and treated me no differently. During these times I always felt a very real sense of calm, as if what I was doing was right for my soul, connecting with an inner self that I knew existed within me although, as I grew older I came to realize that this was setting up a conflict with the real world in which we all live. My brothers would come home and just rip me for looking this way; and of course this mirrors society’s way of dealing with that which they can not understand, brand it as unacceptable behavior and shun any or all that would dare to go there. These events at such an early age served societies goal, it pushed me into a closet to hide for many years, added a dose of shame to me that I never had felt before and all of it was because I was feeling something that had always felt so natural to me. Heaven forbid that I would have to experience a public shaming for my quote /unquote, unacceptable behavior that seemed so totally acceptable to me.
These events pretty well shaped my childhood, and yes I did have a happy childhood, just one that was minus a very important component of my total self being as a person. As I was to learn for myself, much later in my life this would leave the proverbial “black hole” in my universe for which I believe I was always looking everywhere for the answer for its existence when in all reality, the answer existed all of the time…….and it was within me the whole time, quietly tending to her duties, shaping my life as it were, making me the person that I am…and always had been from my very beginning!
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