exciting period
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Veröffentlicht:28. Juni 2009, 10:37 Uhr
Zuletzt aktualisiert:30. Juni 2009, 6:53 Uhr 1944 Aufrufe
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Period
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Darned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
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new frogs for you
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Veröffentlicht:25. Juni 2009, 4:34 Uhr
Zuletzt aktualisiert:27. Juni 2009, 8:07 Uhr 1949 Aufrufe
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A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.
The sign says:
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4 Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.'
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The frog just SITS there!'
The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
' LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE ... MORE .. TIME!!!'
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we all must sue!!
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Veröffentlicht:24. Juni 2009, 12:52 Uhr
Zuletzt aktualisiert:25. Juni 2009, 11:49 Uhr 1901 Aufrufe
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BUBBA HAS A QUESTION
Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, 'Is It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer?'
'Yes, Bubba, sure is true,' responded the lawyer.
'And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers
An fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?'
'Sure is, Bubba.'
'And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when
she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?'
'Yep.'
'And that football player sued that university when he graduaided and still couldn't read?'
'That's right,' said the lawyer.'
'But why are you asking?'
'Well, I was thinkin.....
What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?'
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