Private Box!
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張貼於:2008年 12月 31日 2:29 pm
最近編輯過:2013年 10月 29日 11:14 am 79174 瀏覽
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GOT this IDEA from others' blogs!! SO... If you wanna drop me a message at your convenience, HERE would be it!! NOTHING would show up and nothing would be made PUBLIC so ONLY I can READ IT!!! 
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, 12 審核中
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BE MY GUEST!
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張貼於:2008年 11月 18日 1:58 am
最近編輯過:2014年 7月 30日 7:31 am 83450 瀏覽
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Hey, this is a GUEST BOOK... So I guess this is pretty much about it...? Title says it all.... A place for my guest to drop words... Because sometimes I wonder what kinda people actually looked or peeped at my blog in here and what kinda people they are....?
So drop a few words and let me know ya exist....?
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(Page:)
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Time-freeze. 456.
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張貼於:2015年 2月 23日 8:05 am
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 15753 瀏覽
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'Tired'. The last word I wish I would be using to start off my blog again... But here I am... Just about after a week of return from my vacation and it's eating into me again... That tiredness....
Surprisingly. Just want to say that I'm pretty surprised myself that I'm still here.... Writing.... There're so many other platforms nowadays and this one isn't exactly doing / managing that well.... (sorry but no offence admin). This used to be a great place until it wasn't properly ran..... Over and over again....
Time. Too little. Work / things to do, too much.... I'd previously dreamt of being able to systematically run my time.... Still no luck on that today. But yet instead I've gained other things... Among them would be the ability to properly control, channel and focus my 'interest'...... I no longer play my real-time online gaming these days.... Losing interest? (which I doubt so) Gaining control? No longer that strong desire....?
Freeze. These days I try to do only the things I really wish to do... And oh, I've become happier too!
Once again having a good night's sleep is becoming a dream far from reality....
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CHANGE
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張貼於:2015年 1月 18日 6:00 am
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 16272 瀏覽
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A topic subject not unfamiliar to myself... Yet all that I had said to myself previously were 'its coming'... Not knowing when, how nor what..... All I can say was that I sensed it. Today I speak of it as it happens and unfolds... Today I speak as I sense more to come.....
MANY thoughts come and go as I fear I might not be able to pen them down.... carefully. Or maybe they were never meant to be....? My mind and thoughts become segmented as I read and tell.... Suddenly so many thoughts become redundant and far away..... No longer do I care about 'right' or 'wrong'. It's as if I just knew, but it doesn't really matter.... What are our worst fears.....?
MOTIONS
They move in silence... In the background... Under my hands.... Or anywhere else.... Too many things not done.... Important I thought, but seemingly unimportant as time goes.... Maybe some actions are better buried behind some thoughts, and some thoughts better remain buried....
Once again I can't help but to drift back to the time where everybody 'knew' what they want and were tightly after them....Where I preferred a simple life. A kid who is no smarter than any other kid on the streets... No ambition. No thoughts. No idea. Perhaps things might have been better if it remained that way.... Perhaps it won't. Time is 'cruel' and you'll just have to 'grow' with it....
Today life is never really that 'carefree' but instead busy often. Sometimes I become that kid again and question myself... Life is meant to be simple though it's truly that complicated..... And this world which is full of people who are after the wrong things, just waiting so that it'll be their turn to die one day.... Probably without them realizing that for most of their lives, they probably have been 'dreaming'.... If we say life is but a dream, who is to say it's wrong?
PHYSICAL
I knew all that is happening to me, but I never knew it is all going to be so difficult and painful... I stopped, fall short of crossing that bridge. Perhaps many think life is that difficult.... But what is really difficult and not just about being a human.... It's about not being a human. I know I'll have to move on, in a direction I'm still not too sure.... Perhaps I'll 'stop', one way or the other.... Or perhaps I won't. But one thing's for sure, nothing would be easy....
MIND
I would never have thought.... I can still change so much in my mental capability... It's like they all just fall into one big piece.... From the past, to 'then'.... To today. Who would have thought? The most amazing thing.... It's no longer about knowing myself.... But knowing people.... And the people next to the other people..... That 'connectivity'.... What they might all possibly mean.......
FUTURE
I just understand somehow that 'it' is going to happen.... The equation suddenly seems so clear.... The question is more like 'when'. The methodology if we try too hard / don't try too hard..... Wishes / objectives / needs / desires..... They all suddenly look so crystal-clear..... Suppression....? Letting go....? If I have no desire, what would I need to 'suppress'....? If I have no 'desire', what would I need to let go.....?
FLOAT
My holiday is finally coming..... For too many days I've worked too hard to satisfy others. Tigers which I knew could never truly be satisfied.... People unappreciative, with no intention to.
For too many days I've been after what I want.... What I have to do..... Giving up on what I want...... So what I have to do?
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Relative Redundancy.....
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張貼於:2014年 11月 10日 7:07 am
最近編輯過:2015年 1月 18日 6:04 am 19143 瀏覽
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Can't help but to hate this place. It used to be such a nice place. But now it's laggy in chats and girls complain that it doesn't support webcam well like before anymore... Sad.
So many things... So little time. I remember. Some time back I was saying I would wish to sleep more... Get the sleep I deserves... Though sometimes I still think about it... Even at times crave for it... It's not happening. A bigger part of me thinks that time is not enough. I need to do more and eat into the night... Though... I think... It's not as bad (late) as before....? So many things I wish done... So many things undone.... Keep thinking about them.... It helps to keep in focus.
Change. On one hand I seems to like the changes happening to me... Yet another I'm not exactly sure what I want I think? The beautiful ones... Can't help but to want more.... How many steps forward would I take?
Horny. I hate it when I'm horny. Hate to admit it. Hate to want it? I hate it when I seems to lose that 'control'.... And it seems hard to be satisfied by anyone else these days... Seems like only I can properly well satisfy myself?
I seems more interested in 2 types of people these days... People who are extremely horny and needy, and / or people who are extremely attracted to me....
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My birthday's coming!!
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張貼於:2014年 9月 14日 7:01 am
最近編輯過:2015年 1月 18日 6:03 am 22076 瀏覽
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HEY, my birthday is coming and I'm thinking if anybody would like to have sex with me because of that....??
Okay... I lied.. Not about my birthday though, more on the part where I wish for sex because it's my birthday coming.... 
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That reason...
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張貼於:2014年 9月 14日 7:00 am
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 21846 瀏覽
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It's almost 10pm. I thought I'll be early, but I'm not... I thought I might end up being quite very late, but neither.... I've got a line of chores to be done but I've only done a portion of them. I think. I do. Correctly.
'Fast-slow' - that's the pace of my mind now... I used to think very fast, but I think I'm naturally adapting to another speed now.... Life is about enjoying yourself or doing the things that need to be done...? Not done? Perhaps we should just let them be slowly wasted off and not be too bothered about it... After all, isn't that the 'ultimate' stage....? To be able to let go of everything...? Though it might not make sense to either extreme....
People. Things. Everything. Same people... Different people... Different things... Same things... So they can actually be the same concept?
His name. I used to think that he is the most useless person.. What a disguise... Life is such a mysterious thing... Then again if everything is too obvious, what meaning would it make?
That 'flow'. Retrospective... Slowly grab everything by their necks. Control theory. Then let go of everything.... Start 'paying'.... Life - strange now, isn't it? 
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Something. Else.
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張貼於:2014年 7月 30日 7:30 am
最近編輯過:2014年 9月 14日 7:05 am 25027 瀏覽
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I can't really remember what I used to blog about.... How I used to blog.... And when was the last time that I did.
I'm still here. I thought I would like to tell you a part of me is missing... But the fact is, it is not. Rather, I think a part of me have been replaced....
Slowly, I'm recalling.... A part of me which have not changed. Work is still very much a great part of me (in a way). I'm still sleeping late (too often).
Things that have changed... 1st let's talk about the external stuffs.... Life seems much more in control, much more enjoyable.... Mentality has changed? Perception and attitude towards life have changed....?
I'm changing. Still is... in process.... Perhaps seeking that delicate 'balance'... Perhaps not? Among things that are done and not done, perhaps some things are really not that bad.... left undone?
Sometimes I sit, thinking about the sand I used to sit on. The playground I used to play with, the songs we used to sing..... The games we used to play, the laughter we used to share.... Life was very simple back then. Life was kind. Today we grew up in a very different environment... In an office full of people thinking and doing shit things... Of course luckily among the good ones..... Trying to make our lives miserable before we die....
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MAD.
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張貼於:2014年 4月 20日 7:03 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 30592 瀏覽
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Less than 15 mins to go before I'll need to leave my house... Think I'm going crazy? Nobody really thinks about what I need... It's always about them...
Don't tell me that I'm crazy, tell me what am I suppose to do instead...? Good advice pls. Not just saying things for the sake of saying them, nor saying just once again the things you people WISH to say or WISH I would accept... I'm crazy. Think I'm just going crazy....
CHANGE. Is it for the better or worse? Or perhaps it's just a CHANGE... No 'better' or 'worse'....? Just NEEDS and people trying to tell (deceive?) you that it's truly not necessary (because they ain't you). I can see it happening already... How much do I need it...? So so much.... Do you know I've almost longed for it for half my life....? Think not too many people can really understand... Not that they want to... Not that they need to... There are just more 'convenient' things for them to do.... I'm BALANCED. Perhaps it really better just the way things are now...? Perhaps it's not....? I guess if it happens, it'll probably just come as a 'surprise' which is not surprising at all.....
Didn't wake up for work this morning. The alarm didn't come off. Had it switched off last Friday because it was a public holiday and forgot to put it back on. To be very honest, don't even feel like going to work today.....
I think for all my life I've been 'designed' for this 'change'... Just that I've unknowingly ('needingly'?) changed the factors... Could have been better if I haven't changed anything, but no matter... There are so many misunderstandings in life, even the way we try to interpret it...
Less than 10 days to fly off and I think I'm 'prepared' yet not that much prepared.... It seems like there're still much I've not done...? I don't know.... Maybe it's just putting the pieces together...? Maybe it's just 'unusual' this time...? Maybe too many things in something which is suppose to be relatively straightforward or simple...? Or maybe it's just the 'change' happening....?
Nothing has been changed in the house. Not like I wished to.
I know more changes would need to happen... More $....?
I need to be brave. More courage. Expect more things threw in my way... But I really want it to happen...
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Stage / game
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張貼於:2014年 4月 20日 7:19 am
最近編輯過:2015年 1月 18日 6:03 am 31129 瀏覽
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It's strange how every move / turn in life can bring you somewhere totally different.... Losing my body or losing my mind, which one should I choose...?
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Ends here, starts here?
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張貼於:2014年 4月 19日 4:15 am
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 30786 瀏覽
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Suddenly too many people starts disappearing in my life... I can't stop them, I can see them. See them? Watch them... As they disappear....?
Watch I disappear... Watch as I appears..... I watch..... And watched...
Do we really get to steer our lives? Or are we just a puppet sitting behind....?
If it ends here, what would start tomorrow....?
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Wanders into the night....
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張貼於:2014年 4月 1日 11:25 am
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 31688 瀏覽
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Hate the new IMC. Unlimited number of bugs to be listed....
Girl. She says she miss me. She says sex is important. She says we are like a perfect match in sexuality.... I almost have to agree with her. Except that I'm still bitter from the 'hurt' she had caused me.... Isn't it all about sex...? Isn't it all about fucks...? When have life starts to get so serious....? Don't know. Maybe she is hinting that she just wants the sex? Uncomplicated?
Sexuality, and I thought I knew this much.... But now it's not only about sexuality... It's also about attraction... Seductions.. Foremost....?
A friend asked me how to get laid here.... Seriously I don't know how to answer his question... Though now I think I might have a better picture?
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V 'C'.....
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張貼於:2014年 3月 28日 7:32 pm
最近編輯過:2024年 5月 28日 1:19 am 31517 瀏覽
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I knew I am complicated, but I never knew I'm this very so COMPLICATED...
Too many. And they not only exist, they're fighting to get out of me... To be expressed... To be recognized...? Is it a good thing or a bad thing...? I don't know... Maybe they're just things....
I think it's in my blood. They are... in my blood... That 'aggressiveness'... That 'complications'....
How far would 'I' go....? How much can I control...?
What kind of life... Would I live....?
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