About Me:

Its been 2 years since I've been on here. Revising proifle as of July 2011:

I would love to settle down and move forward in the next chapter of my life. I consider myself very benevolent, esoteric and cautious. I am my 'Own' style. You either Love it or Hate. I am "Goth" I like me and I am not changing. I'm finding it hard to convert to anything other than that particular style. It’s kinda funny, for I didn’t even know what Goth was in high school. I made the change in 2003. At that time I weighed 400 pounds and decided to have gastric bypass. I’ve changed so much, so fast that in less than 1 year I dropped to 150 pounds thus altering my image to a style and fashion I’ve always secretly craved. It's simply what I like and intriguing as hell!

Right out of high school I jumped into the medical field as my main focus and passion. I trained as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), was a 4X4 search and rescue volunteer, first aid and CPR instructor and took a course in phlebotomy (blood drawing). My life time dream was cut short when I became ill. Being on the other side of medicine, having had MANY surgeries myself, took its toll on me and I went from 125 lbs to 400 lbs in less than 4 years. With my health deteriorating I was finally approved for disability in which I continue to live. I’m in a far better place in life, than I was then. I’ve had to work extra to get here, and I’d do it all again if I had to.

What am I doing in Life/Current Passions

I've had MANY awesome things happen in life lately. I've found myself busy trying to put them in better order so that I get 100% out of the 'one' that can better my life and direction I need to go. I believe there is a reason for everything! Fast forward to see a 360 degree transformation, new passions, living new dreams, still the same style, perhaps even more so since I started creating items based on the Goth fashion. In less than 8 months and self taught, I've made an entire line of Gothic purses, handbags and more recently my own clothes!

In addition I’ve picked up a love for writing. It literally happened over night. I have so many different styles that I’ve decided to become further educated. Going back to school to improve my new love of writing is something I’m looking forward to more than anything else.

I haven’t stopped there either! 3 months ago I was pissed I couldn’t draw anything. So I sat down picked up a pencil and started tracing 'stuff' hoping to meet somewhere in the middle. I got bored of tracing; picked up that damn pencil yet again, found a hand drawn bouquet of flowers on internet and 4 hours later I had the exact same drawing! No joke! If you are serious enough, you will find a solution for everything.

I will NOT add anyone to my Network until there is some kind of correspondence and I know further communication will continue. I am not in dire straits for sex either. It is NOT a priority in any way. I also want to know the person I will be with. For those of you who are attached, married or in a LTR and your significant other doesnt know about your Passion.com profile seeking sexual relations, please move on. I do NOT want anything to do with that situation. I however, dont mind having a non-sexual friendly relationship. I have a few friendships in that regard already. Everyone needs someone to talk to about things, and I see no wrong in that. I am NOT here to jeopardize any relationship.

I have stated in my profile below, that I am on disability, which obviously means, I have some health issues. I have months where I am sick and several months where I am the happiest Goth in the world. I do my best to keep things to myself and only discuss it when it has been established as something you do want to know more about. I am a strong individual and I DO NOT need someone to hold my hand. I have been dealing with this for years. So if you cant handle someone that deals with illness, move on. I dont want to become close to you in ANY way, for you to later see me sick and then decide you dont want to be apart of it.

Communication is a must! I do my best to respond to everyone that contacts me, even if I am not interested. I will reply back and let you know what my interest is in you. I am looking for friendships, more than sex. If something of the sexual nature happens, then that is an added bonus. Communication via email or IM at first is a must! I look for substance in an email should you write me. It is a turn off when it is a line or two about fucking or how you've always wanted to do a gothchick. Give me a break! I like intellectual substance. I am NOT being picky or rigid in the least. My overall intension is to hopefully meet you at some point. I do attend Meet and Greets in my area and I have met several people individually for coffee. It is always a pleasure to finally see someone in person you have been communicating with via email.

So if you are still reading this, I will stop my little rant and let you continue on with my profile. Should you still be curious, by all means send me an email. I don't bite.....hard I look forward to talking to you! Now that wasnt so bad, was it?

End of May 2009 Edit

Moving on….more about me!
I am my 'Own' style. You either Love it or Hate. I consider myself very benevolent, esoteric and cautious. I like me and I am not changing. I am "Goth" and love boots! Especially platforms. I always try and incorporate lace in my wardrobe. Have recently started sewing and love to 'cut-n-paste' outfits that need modified. I have tattoos on my neck, wrists and ankles. I plan on getting more in the near future. I use to have my eyebrow and nosed pierced. Would like to get them done again. My favorite color is black and red. Hence the hair color.

My family and my dog are the most important things in my life. I also live a clean and sober lifestyle.

Things that are of interest to me are animals, music, cooking, arts and crafts, movies, trauma medicine, CSI, paranormal, tattoos, long drives, motorcycles, and off-road trucks (used to own one). I had training as an EMT(Emergency Medical Technician), was a 4X4 search and rescue volunteer, first aid and CPR instructor and a course in phlebotomy(blood drawing). I have also been one the other of medicine, having had MANY surgeries myself, which has ultimately put me on disability.

I enjoy intellectual conversation, well educated, open-minded personalities, spontaneity and public affection. I also like a man who is a little rough around the edges. Most of my friends are men, so it isn't out of the norm to 'rough house' a little. It keeps me strong and on my toes!

I am planning in the next few months to get my motorcycle license! I have always had a thing for motorcycles. I am quite partial to a Suzuki GSRX. I kind of look at this as a great way to celebrate my upcoming b-day as well as my 1 year anniversary of being clean and sober!

WARNING: To any institutions using this site, or any of its associated sites, for studies or projects: you do NOT have my permission to use ANY of my profile information (including text and/or photographs, videos) in any form, or forum, both currently and/or in the future. If you have already done so, or intend to do so, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy, and the violation will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice.

I'm known for:
Helping others is just automatic. If I see or hear someone being treated very poorly, I will not hesitate to get involved. I also have a tendency to make others laugh until they cry or simply pass out. I have a rather wide variety of humor. I would say the majority is fairly raunchy.

My Ideal Person: My ideal match

Must love dogs! I have a 6 year old Chihuahua that has all the same markings as a Rottwieler. She is spoiled, but to a certain extent. She is a lover, not a bitter nor does she yap like most smaller breeds. There is one thing that she does…..plays jokes. No, REALLY…she does!

It would be great to meet someone who compliments the style I have. Perhaps a unique style all his own that’s edgy. You’re not afraid of Tattoos, piercings, black nail polish or black eyeliner for a night out at a Goth Club. I of course would be open to your preferences should they be a bit different? I love to get dressed up and look nice for my man. Smelling nice doesn’t hurt either. Of course it will be in black. I don’t own anything with color, except my hair and some of the purses I’ve made. Yeah, I know. Pretty damn crazy isn’t it! I’ve recently notice I have a ‘thing’ for bald men. I don’t understand it much, but my hands take on a mind of there own. I just love the feel of a freshly shaved head….and that didn’t sound right….at ALL.

I have a special love interest for nature. From watching the hummingbirds, to listening to the coyotes at night outside my window. Let's not forget the hooting owl that lurks somewhere in the distant shadows. What about witnessing that quick flash of lightening and then counting 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand in anticipation for that roll of thunder. ALL just waiting to show us its power. No admission fees or lines to stand in. And when it returns, it’s your choice to ignore it or yet again, take part in its glory.

And then there is MUSIC! When everything else fails, there will always be music. I dream of having just of piece of my writing transformed into a song that one of my favorite musical talents has made it there own. What you’d find on my computer is mostly Goth Industrial.

My favorites are:

Wumpscut, Velvet Acid Christ, Exorcist, Die Form, KMFDM, Assemblage 23, God Module, E.S. Posthumus, Skinny Puppy, And One, Chiasm, Android Lust, Covenant, Rob Dougan, Ramstein, Raised In Black, Seraphim Shock, Sousie & The Banshees, Switchblade Symphony, Type O Negative, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails. My list goes on forever. I just don’t do country.

Life isn’t all glamour. I can throw on a pair of sweats, put my hair in a pony tail and I’m ready to get down and dirty. I use to go quad riding every chance I got back in high school. I also had a Toyota 4x4 truck with a 4 inch lift, 35 inch all terrain muders that purred on the freeway, double since roll bar, nerf bars…..you get the picture. I have a fetish for motorcycles…GSRX’s. I get so jealous when I see my brother ride away on his! Sadly, I haven’t gotten the opportunity in taking any classes to learn how to ride one. Anyone up for the challenge! Oh…having a bike, might not be a bad idea either. Big sigh……

Most of my friends ‘are’ men. So I often find myself being just as vulgar, having similar hobbies, interest’s tastes that men do. I’m also known to have a great sense of humor as well as being a real jokester. I get very creative when on one of my jokester play kicks. Just the other week while visiting friends, I wrote little notes and taped them throughout an entire house in random open spots to being tucked away in a shoe. Every 20 to 45 minutes you’d hear a burst of laughter coming from one place or the other. It could only be one of Gothic’s notes being read for the first time. And trust me; I’ve got some good ones!

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Switchblade Symphony, Wumpscut, Ramstein, Marilyn Manson,
Korn, Disturbed, Evanescence, Dead Can Dan

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
On an autopsy table.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
No particular place

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Sadomasochism, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Fetishes, Light Bondage, Candle Wax, Spanking, Handcuffs/Shackles, Blindfolds

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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