i know from my short time as the devoted submissive of a wonderful Mistress, that it can be very real. the unfortunate people who have never had a meaningful relation online my not understand it is a very, very real relationship, if taken seriously. Done right, it is way more than just a Domme giving orders to a sub, online. It can be much more like lovers and best friends and it be a friend who sometimes teases, trains, taunts, humilates, controls your orgasms, ( both ways...many, many forced ones :) or none for a looong time :( ) and even at times hurts the fuck out of you, if she feels you need it, or if she just wants to. i am not looking to replace her. i am looking to find a new Mistress who will take me in new directions. i learned during my experience with her many things about myself. She was near my age and that was fine, but i now know i have a deep attraction to younger women. The ideal age for me is late teens to early twenties. I think there is nothing more sexy than a confident young woman. However, i know that realistically i would be better off serving a more mature Mistress with experience and hope to find one here. There is one thing that i did with my ex-Mistress that i have found out is critical to building the connection and relationship nesesary to make this work for me. As part of my training , i had to tell her things about my life and fantasies and learn to obey her. (That is how my deep attraction to other women surfaced.) She also gave me things to do to teach me how to trust and obey and just as importantly, for me to see myself for what i was. i had to perform carefully selected tasks and send her detailed reports on how they made me feel. They ranged from searching and selecting stories, pictures, videos and things i found that i thought she might like, all the way up to eventually doing some public exposure and other "games" that let women know of my secret lesbian BDSM slave life. i also had to send pictures of me doing them to show her not only that i was doing them properly but also to have to look at myself and see what i was becoming as things progressed. i became addicted to the excitement and desire to serve (now i know, young...okay.. maybe very young) women as a submissive sex slave. That was not an easy thing for me to admitt or say, so It was important for me to face this truth and deal with it in stages as it happened.. She also sent me just as many pictures of her to show me who i belonged to and let me see what i craved. We did interactive pictures of scenes she created for us. This had the most profound affect on me. i can only hope this search on here will bring me to another Mistress who wants do something similar with me again. i also feel i have to say this and i will stop. my life as it is now does not lend well to me being constantly available.That may change next year,(very likely) but for now, i can only do this this in a safe and careful way as to protect my identity, my private life (i life a very normal straight life still) and family. Given that, i will not give out any information that if stolen or revealed will lead anyone to find me. i will not make calls or go on webcam. This can only be an online relationship, for now. So any women looking to meet or have me available to them full time , i may not be for them. i can however do live chats most evenings, and even send the occasional video, but email and pictures are what work best for my limited availability and amount of privacy for taking directed pictures. Oh and one more thing.... i know these sites are full of men posing as women. If i mailed you this, i have hope that you are the beautiful woman on your profile. But still, the first pics we would need to exchange are verification style pictures...you know, like holding up notes with the other persons name and the date on it or something like that to show each other we are really the women on our profiles. Sorry guys...(smile)