[Eminem:] My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High Thank a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in her tip cup extraterrestrial killing pedestrians lesbians while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!) I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about doing drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)