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Alexa891195 56 / F
"Not really looking..."
Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Gold Member
Last Visit: Yesterday
Member Since: July 21, 2006

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Alexa891195 56/F
Las Vegas, Nevada
"And if I laugh at any mortal thing, 'tis that I may not weep" - Don Juan
Hello and thanks for stopping by.

No, I’m not interested in seeing your favorite toy, unless it has wheels and a really loud engine. If it comes in “Ticket-Me Red” or “Shows-the-Dirt Black”, so much the better. If it says Schwinn or Huffy on the side, you’d better have backup.

No, I don’t care if your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/dog/cat doesn’t love you anymore. Nor do I care how long it’s been since you last had sex. Grow up. Medical science has yet to document a case of death from Lackanooky, and you won’t be the first.

I’m also not interested in you if you’re under the age of 50. I don’t care that your mommy told you you’re wonderful. I don’t even care if your last three girlfriends said you’re the best sex they ever had. I certainly don’t care if you’re the best Halo player in your little group of online nerds. If you’re under 50 years old, I’m not interested in you. I will not BE interested in you…at least until you turn 50.

Hey, did you see that I live in Vegas? You did? Really? And because you didn’t realize that people actually LIVE in Vegas, you just assume that everyone here is some kind of free-spirited, sex-crazy male/female slut? Wanna know a secret? You’re wrong. No one who lives here EVER has sex, gambles, or goes to the Strip. The Red Rooster is just an internet hoax – it doesn’t really exist and there’s no place in Vegas with wild women, flowing booze, and free-sex parties. You should really just stay home and set your money on fire, because you’ll have a lot more fun doing that than you will trying to get laid in this town.

Now, all that having been said, you’re sitting there scratching your head wondering what the hell I’m doing here, aren’t you? It’s ok – everyone does. I used to have it explained here in simple terms that even a deranged chimpanzee could understand, but none of you bothered to read it anyway, so I’ve taken all that out. The short version, though, is that I’m here to hang out in the Love Doctors chat room. That’s how I socialize – I give advice to people. I also take notes so that I can someday write a doctoral thesis on weirdos and their stupid problems, and why they think they can solve their stupid problems on a sleazy sex site.

So… that’s where I am – in the Love Doctor’s chat room.
My Passion handle, Cubby_Mom, is over there >>> by the bowl of M&Ms. She’s a chocoholic.

I'm self-employed, so my free time is scarce. But check out my other profile... Cubby_Mom ... if you really want to know more about ME.

My Ideal Person Please... don't invite me to join your network unless we've exchanged at least one email or met in a chat room. I'm afraid I find that a bit rude. I feel badly when I have to decline your invitation, but I am rather protective of who gets listed as my "friend".

The people in my network are mostly people I chat/email with on a regular basis. I like them, and I think they like me. I can't possibly know if we would have that same connection unless we've exchanged emails or chatted in the Love Doctors room a few times.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
See the answer above the answer above

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Someone doing my laundry, A happy dishwasher

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Breathing - that's a must-have

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Of course. In fact, when I die, I intend to be cremated and
have my ashes spread over Hugh Jackman and George Clooney.
If you have to ask why, you're obviously dead and it
won't do any good to explain why.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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Check out my other profiles:
  • 56 / female
  • Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Looking For:  Men
Birthdate: October 13, 1959
Relocate?: No
Marital Status: Divorced
Height: 5 ft 3 in / 160-162 cm
Body Type: Ample
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Drugs: I don't use drugs
Education: Current college student
Occupation: Business Support Svc
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Other
Have Children: Yes. We live together.
Want Children: Prefer not to say
Bra Size: 40 / 90 Above DD / E
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Red/Auburn
Hair Length: Medium
Eye Color: Inconsistent/Variable
Glasses or Contacts: Contacts
My Trophy Case: