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Aunt Mildred 2018/6/17
Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly
despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided
that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking
that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took
out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself
in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the ...
0 コメント, 80 閲覧された回数,
16 投票
,3.57 スコア
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The Divorce 2018/6/16
CURTAIN RODS On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases. <br><br>
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things. <br><br>
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining-room table, by candlelight; she put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar
of caviar, ...
0 コメント, 57 閲覧された回数,
14 投票
,3.46 スコア
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Coma 2018/6/16
One day a woman mysteriously falls into a deep coma, leaving
the doctors puzzled and her husband desperate. They try
every conventional treatment in the book to no avail. One
day the husband is in the hospital and in his frustration
he yet again approaches the doctor and says “Are you sure
that we’ve tried everything? Isn’t there some less
conventional or experimental treatments that ...
0 コメント, 66 閲覧された回数,
12 投票
,3.51 スコア
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Oops 2018/6/13
An elderly couple was sitting in church when the man whispers
to his wife, "hey I just let a silent fart, what should I do?" His wife replies"turn your hearing
aid up."
1 コメント, 13 閲覧された回数,
5 投票
,3.14 スコア
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Two Guys in a Chicago Bar 2018/6/11
Two guys are in a bar in a Chicago high-rise. One guy looks
at the other and says "You know, they call Chicago
the Windy City because if you jump out of one of these office
high-rise balconies, the wind will actually push you back
in". <br><br>
The second guy says: "What? Get outta hear with that!"
<br><br>
The first guy says: "No, it's ...
0 コメント, 60 閲覧された回数,
14 投票
,2.50 スコア
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funny 2018/6/11
Who has the best Monday joke? lets hear them!!!
1 コメント, 16 閲覧された回数,
11 投票
,1.48 スコア
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joke tim 2018/6/9
ok who has a good one? time to laugh!!!!
0 コメント, 0 閲覧された回数,
0 投票
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A Farm Couple 2018/6/8
Once there was an elderly couple that lived on a farm. One
day the farmer came to his wife and grabbed her boobs. <br><br>
He said, "If we could get milk out of these things,
we could get rid of the cows." <br><br>
The next day he approached her, grabbed her butt, and said,
"If we could get eggs out of this thing, we could get
rid of the chickens." ...
3 コメント, 105 閲覧された回数,
20 投票
,3.51 スコア
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A True Blonde 2018/6/8
A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message
to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she
exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would
do ANYTHING to get a message to my mom!'' <br><br>
To that the man asks, ''Anything?''
<br><br>
She says ''Anything'' <br><br>
With that, the ...
2 コメント, 101 閲覧された回数,
19 投票
,4.18 スコア
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Blonde on an Airplane 2018/6/8
A plane is on its way to Houston when Amanda, in economy class,
gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.
<br><br>
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see
her ticket. <br><br>
She then tells Amanda that she paid for economy class and
that she will have to sit in the back. <br><br>
Amanda replies, “I’m blond, I’m ...
0 コメント, 54 閲覧された回数,
12 投票
,3.15 スコア
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Stolen Credit Card 2018/6/8
Question: Have you ever had a credit card stolen? <br><br>
Answer: Yes, my wife’s credit card was stolen. <br><br>
Question: Did you report it missing? <br><br>
Answer: No, the guy who stole it spends less than my wife,
so I’m better off.
1 コメント, 24 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.37 スコア
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what'd ya' get 2018/6/8
So what do you get when you mix an Onion & Donkey with
each other? <br><br>
Wait For It-Wait For It-WAyyyyyyyyyT- Drum Roll Please.
<br><br>
A piece of ASS that brings tears to your eye's. <br><br>
Thank You Thank You, I'm here all week.
0 コメント, 5 閲覧された回数,
1 投票
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Hippo and a Zippo 2018/6/7
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
<br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ The Zippo is a little lighter...
5 コメント, 25 閲覧された回数,
9 投票
,1.72 スコア
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Anyone feel this way about Push-up Bras? 2018/6/6
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
0 コメント, 6 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,3.63 スコア
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Tires And Condoms 2018/6/6
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
0 コメント, 4 閲覧された回数,
0 投票
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Sperm Navigation 2018/6/5
What did one sperm say to the other sperm? <br><br>
Hey Bill did you bring the GPS...I think that prick dropped
us off at the esophagus like our friends a few nights ago.
We've got a loooong way to go. Oh Jim, how I hate the shit
we have to go through.
0 コメント, 17 閲覧された回数,
9 投票
,3.21 スコア
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What kind of bees produce milk? 2018/6/2
Boo-bees!
1 コメント, 12 閲覧された回数,
8 投票
,1.62 スコア
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Superman joke 2018/6/1
Superman is flying and sees Wonderwoman naked on the roof
of the Hall of Justice. He exclaims "Great Scott!"
He thinks I'm Superman I can be in and out before she
knows it. WHOOSH BAM BAM BAM BAM. Wonderwoman says"
What was that? The Invisible man says" I don't
know but my ass really hurts.
1 コメント, 29 閲覧された回数,
8 投票
,3.48 スコア
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Two Garbage Bags 2018/5/27
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two
large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,
and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
<br><br>
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am,
there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." <br><br>
"Oh, really? Darn, " says the little old ...
2 コメント, 82 閲覧された回数,
18 投票
,2.85 スコア
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Once a Marine, Always a Marine 2018/5/27
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she
wore on her wedding night and put it on. <br><br>
She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, "Honey,
do you remember this?" <br><br>
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear,
I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married" <br><br>
She said, ...
1 コメント, 76 閲覧された回数,
10 投票
,3.58 スコア
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Money Back 2018/5/25
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money." <br><br>
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
<br><br>
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
1 コメント, 35 閲覧された回数,
14 投票
,3.46 スコア
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Just Confirmed 2018/5/25
It's just been confirmed Monica Lewinski voted for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth....
1 コメント, 25 閲覧された回数,
12 投票
,3.86 スコア
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So This Guy Walks into a Bar with an Octopus under his arm... 2018/5/21
So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus under his arm.
He tosses the Octopus onto the bar and says "I bet anyone
a drink that my Octopus can play any musical instrument
that you give him." The piano player says "I'll take that bet"
The guy puts the Octopus on the piano and he starts playing
and it is better than Ray Charles !!! Another guy says "Can he play my ...
3 コメント, 92 閲覧された回数,
19 投票
,3.78 スコア
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funny 2018/5/20
We Ann leed a good laugh. who can make it happen?
0 コメント, 9 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,1.69 スコア
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The Old Soldier 2018/5/17
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady
cashier walked up to him and said, 'your barracks door
is open'. Not a phrase that men normally use, he went
on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about d shopping,
a man came up and said, 'your fly is open.' he zipped
up and finished his shopping. <br><br>
At the checkout, he intentionally got in the ...
1 コメント, 75 閲覧された回数,
19 投票
,3.39 スコア
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funny? 2018/5/16
Spring excites me so much I sometimes wet my plants!!!
0 コメント, 1 閲覧された回数,
0 投票
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Cheesy Joke 2018/5/13
How do you make a tissue paper dance? Put a boogy in it.
2 コメント, 16 閲覧された回数,
10 投票
,2.39 スコア
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A Close Shave 2018/5/12
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is
foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting
a close shave around the cheeks. ''I have just
the thing, '' says the barber taking a small wooden
ball from a nearby drawer. ''Just place this between
your cheek and gum.'' <br><br>
The places the ball in his mouth and the barber ...
1 コメント, 88 閲覧された回数,
20 投票
,4.27 スコア
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Thermometer 2018/5/10
Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
<br><br>
The taste.
1 コメント, 17 閲覧された回数,
9 投票
,1.93 スコア
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Thermometer 2018/5/10
Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
<br><br>
The taste.
0 コメント, 9 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.08 スコア
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