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oldie but goodie 2017-02-15
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over
a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry
Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked
me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for
releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...
4 評論, 106 瀏覽次數,
19 票
,3.65 分數
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Opps have you been recognized by, friends, coworkers, family? 2017-02-02
So has it happened to you any thing bad come of it? Anything good come of it?
Or just embarrassed....
I was recognized in my blk dress this week! opps family...,
mmmmm coworker!
20 評論, 299 瀏覽次數,
59 票
,6.06 分數
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Haaaaachu....!!!! 2016-11-17
A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor.
She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing,
and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor
asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman
replies, "Sniffing pepper."
5 評論, 90 瀏覽次數,
28 票
,4.78 分數
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who can you trust 2016-11-08
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table
to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy,
was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit
his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments
Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything
under ...
6 評論, 276 瀏覽次數,
26 票
,5.94 分數
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Drunk 2016-09-30
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle,
shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great
Pussy!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores
him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the
same guy, and ...
3 評論, 131 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,4.10 分數
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Weekend sex 2016-09-30
Would love to have sex- i said.
She gave me a glove...
Xxx
6 評論, 57 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,3.78 分數
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false advertisment 2016-09-21
so awhile back i met a lady on Passion and what caught my attention
was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly
(at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few
weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one
friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe
just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if
you need some replacement dick, i'm ...
3 評論, 228 瀏覽次數,
21 票
,4.12 分數
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Human Relationships 2016-09-20
Ultimately, the only way to make good friends is to become
a good friend yourself. Good people gather around other
good people.
2 評論, 15 瀏覽次數,
3 票
,3.43 分數
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I am ready 2016-09-08
Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only
thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...
6 評論, 45 瀏覽次數,
15 票
,3.28 分數
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.zdfgjkldfklhb 2016-09-04
respect is the most important value in the relationship
1 評論, 15 瀏覽次數,
6 票
,3.08 分數
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Tires made of pussy 2016-08-21
We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This
girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would
never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't
work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!
3 評論, 56 瀏覽次數,
16 票
,3.27 分數
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Why do people always say things that arent? 2016-08-02
Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious,
then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?
4 評論, 37 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,4.10 分數
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paying for services 2016-07-21
When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage
with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service
is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services
to men.
It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!
2 評論, 32 瀏覽次數,
13 票
,1.80 分數
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The Fickle Times We Live In..... 2016-04-15
"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe
you could learn to fuck better!"
That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after,
a less than par blowjob.....
"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks
that you keep in your closet?!!"
I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time.
She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...
1 評論, 96 瀏覽次數,
13 票
,0.46 分數
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The case of my missing twix bars.... 2016-04-15
The first time in total, and in my hands I left a little bit
of a mess.....
It was just then, when, she was going through my emails that
i have sent here and there.....
So, I said to her that it was just all in good fun, and yes I
do online sex often....
She's so cute, and sweet, as well as, A's on my report
card....
Yeah, it was not able to make a difference ...
0 評論, 53 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,2.36 分數
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Lessor of two evils 2016-03-11
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"At which time, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your
wife and the man ...
0 評論, 229 瀏覽次數,
24 票
,4.95 分數
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Make her scream... 2016-03-11
Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or
whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...
5 評論, 112 瀏覽次數,
17 票
,4.68 分數
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WINNER WINNER WINNER 2016-03-11
So, a man asks his wife "If I won the lottery, what would
you do?" His wife says, "Take half and leave you" The man smiles and says, "Good cuz I won 12 bux from
the lottery today, heres 6 now get out"
0 評論, 50 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,4.66 分數
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Look how sexy my wife is... 2016-02-06
...That is all.
-Sexxxcrzd(m)
14 評論, 174 瀏覽次數,
26 票
,5.61 分數
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the vagina!!! 2016-01-31
The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started
with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size
piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking
temperamental.....
4 評論, 120 瀏覽次數,
41 票
,7.16 分數
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its funny now not s much then 2015-12-06
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 評論, 98 瀏覽次數,
21 票
,2.14 分數
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wife joke 2015-10-30
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband
is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but
warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her
to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night,
she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the
doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great!
I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...
14 評論, 453 瀏覽次數,
41 票
,6.76 分數
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BBQ time 2015-10-30
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt
is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances
towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's
wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really
think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one
little weenie?"
5 評論, 225 瀏覽次數,
22 票
,5.77 分數
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Always use condoms? 2015-10-29
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 評論, 88 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,1.86 分數
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Always use condoms? 2015-10-29
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 評論, 46 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,4.12 分數
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ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 2015-08-22
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 評論, 76 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,3.25 分數
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Karma 2015-08-20
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 評論, 236 瀏覽次數,
26 票
,5.40 分數
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I Forget Stuff Sometimes 2015-08-15
I looked up at my ceiling the other day and as I was laying
there I saw what I thought to be a sliver of paint on it. I didn't
pay it any attention but I noticed that it had some limbs.
So obviously it's a bug. I grab the bug spray and down
it goes. I quickly picked it up off the floor and flush it
in the toilet. Moments later i get a knock at the door. So
I quickly answer the door as I am ...
0 評論, 220 瀏覽次數,
13 票
,2.64 分數
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The Successful 2015-08-03
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 評論, 229 瀏覽次數,
17 票
,5.67 分數
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Listen up 2015-07-15
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 評論, 304 瀏覽次數,
15 票
,2.52 分數
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