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Groups > Local Groups > Australia Groups > Queensland Groups > QLD BBW HQ

131 views

richo01au
2905 Comments
Blowjob 101.... thanks to funtimes
Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - If I'm bloated and I feel like shit, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
8. Extension to #7 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
9. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my throat, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
10. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
11. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
12. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
13. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
14. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's Rebuttal (by a male)

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
3. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
4. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
5. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
6. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavour country.
7. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
8. Play with the balls.
9. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
10. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
11. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I guarantee it'll be "sound asleep".
12. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
richo01au
2905 Comments
 Thanks funtimes for letting be use this

richo01au
2905 Comments
 Me use this,

Fragsnerk
573 Comments
 Seen this before and think that guys who think like this are jerks.

rm_azurefox
2227 Comments
 MEH! It's all fun and games until someone gets it in the eye!

Really don't care about the politics of Oral Sex.

The only RULE that should apply is: Pleasure your partner, be pleasured by your partner and always reciprocate!

trumby53_4703
2426 Comments
 One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little
horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against
the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, would you give
me a blowjob?"

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

(horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"

"No, no. I just can't"

"I beg you ...please".

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's
little sister shows up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, and in a
sleepy voice she says "Mom says to go ahead and give him a
blowjob. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, she can come
down herself and do it. But tell him to take his fuckin' hand off
the intercom..."

richo01au
2905 Comments
 I'm guessing it wasn't the only thing stuck on the horn

rm_azurefox
2227 Comments
 Boom! Boom! Good one Richo!

richo01au
2905 Comments
 You know strange things happens in taxi's all the time

To link to this group topic Blowjob 101.... thanks to funtimes use [group_post 3084962] in your messages.