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Ozzy Osbourne...Wanking For World Peace!
Excerpt from an interview with crazy 'Heavy Metal' rocker, Ozzy Osbourne, around the time he split with Black Sabbath.  OZZY OSBOURNE...On the bus en route from Salt Lake City to Denver in the early morning hours of January 10, 1982 by David Gans  I set fire to my sister once. I tried to strangle my younger brother 'cause I hated him. . One day some friends of mine gave him a used contraceptive and told him it was a balloon. He came in the house on a Sunday afternoon -- . GANS: Bit dim, was he? . OZZY: No. My brother's the only sane one of the fucking lot, now. He came in the house blowing it. My father washed his mouth with soap. . GANS: Why'd you set fire to your sister? . OZZY: I didn't like her. I poured gasoline on her skirt and set fire to her. I got beaten round the fuckin' house, as usual. . GANS: Were you beaten a lot? . OZZY: Oh, a hell of a lot. It was a part of life in them days. It was good times, man. . GANS: Were you happy, then? . OZZY: No. No, because my mother wouldn't...mm, she...she just wouldn't. . GANS: Wouldn't what? . OZZY: Give me head.  I remember one time, I was ill. I was really ill...I was lying on the couch. When I was a , they used to have these things called "Little Bigs." Going right back to my childhood. I'm lying in bed, masturbating. You know when you're a , you think of something to masturbate on -- you can close your eyes and think of an object, a person, something to get your rocks off. And the perspective of the object got all out of -- it wouldn't be big, it wouldn't be small, it wouldn't be round, it wouldn't be long -- it wouldn't be anything. And it used to fucking do my brains in -- I used to go fucking crazy. I ripped my Beatle pictures off the wall and started burning them and doing crazy things. . When I got ill one time -- the treat was, if you were ill in the house...We only had three bedrooms, and there was six and my mother and father, so there was like [thinks a split second] eight. My mother and father had the front room, and we used to fucking pile into the back rooms. We had a bucket of piss at the bottom of the bed, a fucking plastic bucket of piss, for-months. We never had clean sheets, we used to have overcoats as fucking bedclothes. This is the God's honest truth. . The treat was, when you were ill, you could sleep on the couch downstairs and watch TV. me biggest sensation of the week was Sunday night at the London Palladium. My father would send my brother or some youngster to some fucking off-license and get a couple of bottles of cider and some potato chips, you know? I'm lying on the fucking couch watching this, thinking, I'm jacked [?]- -all the rest of the have gone to bed, see. This thing comes to my head, "Kill your mother. Get up and kill her -- she's evil." . I swear to God, I felt myself come off this fucking couch, and I ran, and I ran. I stopped myself running, went straight back through the kitchen, into the bathroom, and masturbated for about four hours. . So in the end, I eventually ended up in the fucking nuthouse. The guy says to me, first question -- which was ironical -- was, "Do you masturbate?"
I was hung up on cocaine for years; I took LSD, me and Bill Ward took LSD for two years every day. I ended up a screwball. I got to this lunatic asylum and this guy says to me, first question: "Do you masturbate?" |
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Yes Ma'am...Who knows might even get over my insecurities to get out and meet someone, one day. Gives one something to work on i guess. If only could stop this evil motion.  | ||
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A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the local hospital when during her tour of floors, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. . "Oh, my GOD!" said the lady. "That's disgraceful, why is he doing that?" . The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he will die within a minute." . "Oh, that's terrible," said the lady. . In the very next room they could see that a female nurse was performing oral sex on a different male patient. . "OH, my GOD!" said the lady, "How can that be justified? . "The doctor replied, "Same illness, Medibank Private." | ||
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