Blog Moving
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Posted:Apr 3, 2009 11:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1083 Views
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So, I've decided to go well into Google's sweet, warm, loving embrace.
My blog will be moving now to: http://Passion.com
You can go there for any updates.
The reasons for the move are three-fold:
1.) It works with writer, and many of the blogging sites I use do not - and writer is easier to use with dozens of great plug-ins.
2.) It allows me to post in a single spot.....rather than the OVER 15 websites my various blogs currently get posted to (and it even allows the adult content on my blog some sites frown on).
3.) It helps me get all my stuff in one place - under Google, where I know it's not going to go away anytime soon and can link in with basically everything else you ever wanted to know about me.
Some come check it out and follow me....
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We Need a House Cleaner!!!
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Posted:Feb 16, 2008 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1241 Views
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To Whom It May Concern:
I was wondering if I could get a ball-park estimate on cleaning our house.
It’s a three bedroom, two bathroom.
We have pets, and it’s all guys living in the house, so “the little cleaning things” don’t get done regularly enough.
We would be looking for either weekly or bi-weekly depending on the rate to start the middle of March.
We would expect the following items be done each time:
-Living Room has Hardwood Floors, and Kitchen is Vinyl ‒ they would both need to be swept and mopped
-Hallway and the three bedrooms are all carpeted and would need to be vacuumed and wet-cleaned (we have the wet-cleaner and it only takes about 15 minutes to do all the carpet, but we have pets, so this is a must)
-The entire house would need to be dusted ‒ probably a thorough dusting once a month, and a light-dusting on the other visit(s)
-Both bathrooms would need to be cleaned and disinfected
-Once a month we would like the stove/refridge cleaned thoroughly
-Once a month we would like the windows cleaned
-Once a month we would like the cabinets in the kitchen and living room emptied out and scrubbed
-Once a month we would like the ceiling fans, tops of the doors, and other difficult areas to dust dusted
-Just a general “straightening out” of the entire house would be nice as you work
Being the house hasn’t had a very thorough cleaning in the two years we have lived here, so I can understand charging additional for the first cleaning so you can get everything in order and then just have to do maintenance work.
A couple of questions for you:
Do you provide your own cleaning supplies? (Not big deal if you don’t, just want to know)
Would Monday/Tuesday work into your schedule well because someone is always home on those days?
The house is in the UNM Area ‒ near the corner of Coal & Yale, will that be within the area that you clean?
If you need to visually inspect the house for an estimate, would you have any time available this coming week in order to do a once over? (I will be home from work all week.)
Of course, we will ask for references one we find out your price and decide whom to go with for our cleaning needs.
If you need any more information about the house to provide an estimate, please just let me know what you need.
Thank you,
Andrew Harper
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Another Year Older
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Posted:Dec 24, 2007 7:53 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1159 Views
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Monday, 24 December 2007 (Julian Date Not Important)
“And so [it's my birthday]. And what have done? Another year over. And a new one's just begun.”
Yeah, I know, horrible for me to rip off a Christmas song when I hate my birthday being mixed in with Christmas ‒ but, as far as it all goes, my birthday is mixed in with Christmas and that's something I have to learn to live with.
And what am I doing with myself today? Well, currently I'm at the office writing a blog. It's only a half day here at least, but Dan (my coworker) decided he needed the day off to be with family, and since he's my Senior I had to come in on my birthday. Ah, no matter really I suppose, I would have just been sleeping with the time right now anyway.
Last night was nifty! Ryan, Anthony, Mateo, and Michael all took me out to dinner at Steak & Ale (such awesome prime rib!!!!!) and it was a wonderful time.  Thank you guys for caring.
Today, aside from work, I have nothing planned. My parents are down in Deming today and we're not seeing them till Sunday, and Ryan's parents we're going to tomorrow (love the in-laws) but not going to see today, so it's kind of a do nothing day aside from work and chores.
It does leave me asking myself though, what have I, as a person, on any level, accomplished in the last year.....not as much as I'd like is the answer.
On the school front I picked up about 21 credits ‒ a far cry from the 30 I was aiming for ‒ but an accomplishment nonetheless I suppose.
Financially (the stuff that gets my blood boiling and keeps me awake at night) I've increase Ryan and my net worth by almost $20k over the last year ‒ which is awesome! However, I also managed to increase our debt load from $15k to about $19k ‒ something I'm currently working on addressing, and hope will get ironed out in the first few months of the next year (I get a bonus now in February which should help).
Socially I'm still with Ryan (YAYNESS) in the same house as before (thank god I didn't have to move this year) with Anthony as a roommate ‒ so my home life has stayed pretty stable.
Job-wise, well, I'm still with Prime (first company I've ever celebrated my birthday with twice in all my life!), though now as an employee and not a contractor. The benes make a huge difference.
I'm now seeing a shrink, and am getting dosed right on the correct medicine, which is really helping my outlook in life (though, as Xavi put it the other day, maybe they should change the dosage because I'm still being “passive depressive” with myself....new term for me!!!)
Basically, it comes down to a lot of little achievements, but nothing earth shattering as I move another year towards my eventual retirement in approximately $47 years.
And what of the goals for next year? Well, I think I'll aim for the following (you don't have to read this part if you don't want to, this is just for me to be able to keep track of where I want to go and next year compare it to how far I got ‒ kind of a New Years Resolution thing....and since that's only a week away, it makes sense to my brain. 
School ‒ I'm going to aim again for 30 hours. I have 15 scheduled for the spring already, and when you add summer and fall to that, it should be a realistic goal. I'm beginning to learn that although the semester seems impossible to get through when you're reading the syllabus, none of the classes are all that difficult if you just take them day by day.
Work ‒ I want to stay with Prime, I'm happy with my job, and I'd really like to not loose benefits by going some where else and would like my 401(k) to completely vest for the first time in my life....
Finances ‒ I want Ryan and I to have enough socked away that this time next year we could put down a sizable down payment on a house. I would like to have the credit cards we keep paid off, and half of our credit cards canceled and done with. I would also like to be a good six months ahead on car payments and finish saving up the 3-months of emergency money. Oh, and no overdrafts the whole year including for the household account. 
Ryan ‒ Still want to be with Ryan, that's a given, enough said.
Social Life ‒ I'd like to get one. We've started hanging out with people again, and it feels good. Trouble will be seeing if it will continue once classes start, but I'm going to try my best to make sure it does.
That's it ‒ I'm not going to kill myself with any more ‒ this should be more than enough to keep me occupied over the next year, now everyone cross your fingers for me and don't uncross them till next December 24th.
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Traveling Weekend
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Posted:Dec 16, 2007 9:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1132 Views
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Sunday, 16th December 2007 (50-350)
Weekend started on Friday ‒ had to drive to Silver City for Kelly's graduation.
The drive was long ‒ we went through this mountain pass where 20 miles an hour made the tires skid.
Oh, we had a rental too (neither vehicle could easily make the trip), a Ford F150 ‒ and let me tell you, I've said for 10 years I'd never buy a Ford, and after checking out the latest that they have to offer, I still would never buy a Ford!
The graduation event itself was nice ‒ Kelly got to speak, and was the highlight speaker of the evening to say the least. And her friend Zach looks WAY too familiar, I can swear I know the from somewhere, somewhere other than my dreams at least. *evil grin*
We also got to find out that not only did we have to drive to Silver City and back, but that we got to help Kelly move half her stuff to NMSU in Cruces. SURPRISE!
Seriously though, packing wasn't that bad, nor was loading up the vehicles.....and I'm not exaggerating when I say that her RA, Chris, has what is no doubt the most perfect ass in the world! *giggle*
So Sunday morning we woke-up to 15 degree weather and went and started packing to be on the road by 0930.
The drive to Cruces took forever, to say the least, neither Ryan or myself do well being part of a caravan.
Dropped her stuff off in Cruces and came back home....
Ryan spent the rest of the night sleeping (lucky dog) I couldn't sleep ‒ but QQ didn't happen. No one really seemed that interested in going to one anyway, and Anthony wasn't home, and Xavi was unavailable ‒ so overall I decided it best to just not have it and took the night easy.
I did spend a lot of time looking at the $100 of new fish Ryan ordered before we left ‒ some really cool ones: lobsters, another ballerina shark, a leopard puffer fish ‒ just some awesome fish...all they are all still alive as of this moment except for an ugly eyed goldfish we bough that seems to have been eaten, which, loosing only one to our carnivorous aquarium isn't bad.
Just before bed that night we went and got Anthony from the airport ‒ he had good luck at the casino, and game home with some very nice gifts for the house.
Poor Shelby didn't sleep while we were all out of town we don't think, David got stuck in the heights, Ryan and I at Kelly's graduation, and Anthony gone ‒ she has done little but sleep since we got home, so I think she spent 24 hours in a severely stressed state.
Sunday was spent sleeping in, thanks to Anthony drugging us to the point that we passed out till 1400 on Sunday! I mean, it was nice to finally sleep, but it feels like half the day was wasted.....and it turns out it was.
The only thing we really were able to fit into the day was the casino.
Wasn't a bad trip ‒ the buffet was free because of the points on our cards, and after it was all said and done, we spent about five hours playing and only lost $160......which, we always expect to go into the casino and come out broke, so it's really not bad because we came out with the majority of what we went in with ‒ so now get to put it back in the account and pay some more bills with it.
The household is hurting a little ‒ David isn't paying rent till the end of December, and his rent is going to be a great help, it's just getting through till the end of the month is going to be a bit of a strain on us ‒ and Kelly's graduation was a strain on Ryan & I. So, the casino probably wasn't a great idea, but we all really needed to let off some steam, and it accomplished that.
Other than that, the highlight of my day is writing this blog......sad, I know, a four day weekend and basically I feel like I really need a day off.
Tomorrow I'm leaving work half way through to go to a doctor's appointment at Dr. Hall's. If you need a shrink, he's definitely one you should check out!!! But, once I'm done with him, shouldn't be a big deal to come home and get to rest a little (and who knows, I might even have something interesting to write after getting some free time to think about something.)
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Just a Blog
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Posted:Dec 12, 2007 10:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1133 Views
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Thursday, 13 December 2007 (50-347)
The blossoming of a new social life continues.
Last night Ryan and I went and hung out with Patrick. After three and a half years of chatting with the guy ‒ going back to before I met Ryan and more than two relationships ago for him ‒ it's nice to finally have met him.
We did dinner at Il Vilcino's(?) which was alright, but not great ‒ could have just been my mood, I was in a poor mood most of the day, and then Starbucks for dessert.....coupled with copious amounts of political banter.
All of this was followed by our usual hanging out at our place (we *really* need to clean up better if we continue to entertain) and chatting.
Random Thought: How about people who put “looking to chat” in their bio-line actually chat when you try to talk to them instead of replying with “wanna fuck” or “ok,” which is never really a great response to “How are you doing tonight?”
I had the hardest time going to sleep last night...but, that's really nothing new lately, something about the Chantix, or the stress of almost $700 for Kelly's graduation when it's all said and done (and yes, we are both very proud of her), or the fact that I'm about to cancel several of my credit cards which have been my safety net for the last year, or the fact that trying to get more than one sentence out of Xavi is about as hard as getting Ryan to listen to more than one sentence when I speak........or maybe a combination of all of them, but I haven't been sleeping very well.
Speaking of Ryan, I know he'll never read this, so I'll ask for comments. I picked out our anniversary gift, it's the “Men's Diamond White Gold and Titanium Dora Ring” found at http://Passion.com=3_139. (It's the top center one.) All comments are welcome as I really am not 100% set yet, but pretty much have made up my mind ‒ the trick is going to be getting him sized correctly since titanium rings can't be resized once made....
Anyway, the not sleeping is killing me. I'm one sick puppy, usually when I couldn't go to sleep for like 15 years now I thought about sex and that put me right now (strange, isn't it?) but I can't do that now. There are only a handful of people I can bear the thought of having sex with, and I respect them too much to do what I usually would do in my thoughts to them (I really am one twisted little fuck sometimes)......nothing illegal or even immoral ‒ just something passionless though and I've found that lately I'd rather not think of sex in a passionless way.
So, I'll end here being I've gotten wayyy too many comments lately that I am too long-winded and really need to wrap things up in a lot less space then I normally do, so I'll just finish here.
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Open Letter
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Posted:Dec 11, 2007 1:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1147 Views
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So I'm going to try to be eloquent here....
Basically, I don't know why I'm writing this, but just thought I'd throw it out there and try to be a little better with words on paper (or screen as the case may be) than I am with words in person, and I get the feeling we're sending you all kinds of mixed signals, which is not our intent, but we both take different approaches to things and wanted to make sure we weren't sending off more signals than you could/should handle during finals week.
Ryan is taking the approach of hands-off is best because you're really not interested in us, and has some anecdotal evidence to back it up. Reason he doesn't text you very much, and the reason neither one of us will call you (that and we really, really, really don't wanna bug/bother you anymore than we already do....)
I myself prefer the smothering approach - not discrete, but helps put my overly-analytical mind at ease when I'm able to read more closely into someone's mind and feelings ‒ and smothering them is one good way to be able to pump them for clues, no matter how sad of a statement that is; it is the reason I have basically determined that I tend to smother certain people at certain times.
Of course we aren't asking you to marry us, I mean, we've had only two dates (and since you never corrected the terminology and that's what we've been using to describe hanging out with you, I'll continue to use it), haven't even had sex yet (though, honestly, that really doesn't bother us, we were cool with just cuddling and making out cause, umm, yeah, you rock at both!), and don't even know your middle name ‒ so don't worry, if we ever do ask you to marry us it will be a good deal in the future after we made certain that we all get along, everything would work, and that YOU are ready to settle (take that as either settle down or settle for us, it works either way), and have the money saved up to ask you with one hell of a ring. *giggle*
We're not even asking you to be a regular third, cause like I said, sex hasn't happened yet and what has happened that's sexual was cut short both times. Seriously, the making out and cuddling alone is fine for us ‒ though, I am curious as to how your mouth feels on my cock and what exactly I did while giving you head to cause you to go soft. But irregardless, we can't ask you to be a regular third till we sample the milk and make sure we want to purchase the whole cow, so to speak; and the fact that you aren't that interested in such a thing is one of the few things you've showed pretty clearly.
Hell, I'm actually going to go far enough and say we aren't even going to ask you for sex ‒ if it happens, then it happens, if it doesn't, then whatever (I do have two hands and so does Ryan, so that's four different hand jobs I am capable of having on any given night). So fuck-buddies, friends with benefits, and all those other terms that are normal relationships to have a certain points in your life are not something we're going to ask you for, it's not something we would completely discount.
Even friendship at this point really is a lot to ask!
I mean, you've only hung out with us twice, which really isn't enough for any of us to tell if we really would click in the long-term friendship department (even if the initial outlook gives us very favorable odds). And while we can't tell you how much we would appreciate someone we could be friends with (do you have any idea how hard it is to make friends as a married gay guy?!?), we're very analytic and honest and realize that asking that at this juncture would probably make us sound crazy.
What we are asking for is a chance to get to know you more (on your schedule of course, whatever you can work around school, social, and family lives) and for you to be open, honest, straight-forward with us (basically because these three things we find to be helpful in any transaction dealing with people).
How are we supposed to know if I should quiet down as much as Ryan to avoid smothering you with text messsages or if Ryan should chat with you more (albeit, not as much as I do I'm sure ‒ especially after this long-winded message) if you don't tell us what it is that Xavi wants.
We're very big pleasers, but it's very difficult to give someone what they want when they don't tell you what they want (which, mind you, is a very different animal than “tell people what they want to hear,” in case the two sound alike, they are not!)
In return we'll be forthright, honest, and make sure to make ourselves available based around your schedule (easy enough to skip a class, reschedule work, or rearrange our errands to match your ability to hang out with us.)
In that spirit - I will let you know Ryan is a little scurred and I'm a little confused ‒ mostly because we both haven't actually “liked” someone we've met in almost four years now and even if one of us kind of liked them, the other had strong feelings against. This whole both having strong feelings in favor of is something we've never experienced before. (We feel like we're each half of that sort of 16 year old guy who just got the phone number of a girl he's been mentally beating off to for months and has to debate how many days to wait to call her.)
We also have never experienced feeling so at-ease and comfortable with some one after hanging out with them just a few times. Usually the first half dozen times hanging out with someone for us is forced and rather jagged. Both times with you were smooth, comfortable, and fit-well (like an old friend we hadn't seen in a couple years and just ran back in with). The unusualness of this leaves us both a little confused at what exactly we're feeling.
And while we realize that we come off like lame jackasses who don't know how to interact with people half the time, it's really just because we forgot how we're supposed to act or what we are/aren't supposed to say. (Spend four years out of any game and you tend to forget the nuances of it.)
In example, I don't know if you were liking or hating me rubbing my hand against your face, hell, I don't even know if after two dates if that was appropriate or not to do ‒ and I had trouble reading your reaction to it, and Ryan's the same way with not knowing where the lines are anymore.
When it comes to ourselves we really don't have any lines aside from: 1) you can't try to break us up, 2) you can't ignore one of us, 3) don't ask us to bottom unless you are ready for a commitment ‒ two virgin asses do not come cheap.
We basically DID know what we were looking for ‒ a third boyfriend, a third partner in the relationship, someone we could share everything and anything withg ‒ and what we were definitely not looking for ‒ just “wham-bam-thanks-for-helping-me-cum-Man sex - but to be completely honest, are not so sure what we want anymore and what we will and will not accept.
We're reevaluating a lot of what we're looking for and even parts of our own relationships ‒ all for the better...so if we ever sound a little confused, that's where it's coming from ‒ but a little confusion never hurt anyone, if anything it almost always works out for the better.
So we can't tell you anymore what we're looking for.
We can't tell you what we eventually will want from you.
We can't tell you a lot of things ‒ hey, just being honest ‒ but like I said, I can tell you that we both really like you and would like to get to know you a whole lot more....
There, all that BS (enough to count as an English paper) to basically tell you what you already knew ‒ but, somehow, I feel more at ease having written it down, and hopefully you are a little more at ease having read it.
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Cool Straight Guy
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Posted:Dec 8, 2007 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1223 Views
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Saturday, 08 December 2007
So I have to admit, I don't have that much experience with straight guys.....so I really don't know how to relate to them. Strange sounding I know ‒ but really, I haven't had straight friends in so long that happen to have dicks that I forget how to act and feel all out of place usually.
And we have a new laptop in the house for a couple days.
What do these have to do with each other ‒ well, we got to meet our second person from Passion today: Jake. This is the one referred to in an early blog as seeming like a good catch ‒ well, met him today, and he's totally cool, totally hot, and has the most awesome eyes you can imagine. So listen up ladies, you looking for someone, hit me up and I'll hook you up......
That makes two off Passion now, both cool, and one gay ‒ seems like we might be getting our money's worth this time afterall.
Anyway, he came by around 1100 this morning after his work out (from the looks of him, it's a two or three times a day ritual.....) and dropped his laptop off for me to repair. Among the many problems were:
Spyware & Virii
Everything running s.....l.....o.....w.....
Sound not working
Video being a little off
All sorts of extra programs that he really didn't need and shouldn't have been there
A sundry of other things
So, with all these issues and being what seems just computer-literate enough to flirt with gay guys online....he needed someone to fix the poor thing up. And that's where I came in.
Amazing showing of trust and confidence though ‒ he just met me, only been chatting with me online for a couple weeks, and leaves his laptop with me for a couple days to get up and running. Seriously, the ways I could fuck him over right now....but if you know anything about me, you know I'm not like that.
I was going to go to work today so I wouldn't have to go to bed early or work on a Sunday ‒ but with the vote of confidence I've been working on his laptop since he dropped it off nine hours ago....I don't want to make him wait on it.
I tried at first to repair it, but, gave up on that soon enough. A full reinstall of Windows and having to do all the updates and install anything he might possibly want from our Applications Repository has turned into an all day long job. At least most of the stuff wasn't very interactive so I was able to do some cleaning, build the Linux VM, and a few other tasks that had to get done while working on it at the same time.
Ryan is sick again ‒ I'm beginning to get worried, he's too young to be this frail, and he's seemed to be constantly sick on a regular basis, every Saturday night for months now....
Speaking of Saturday nights, I really have to schedule another QQ since the semester has ended and it's been a long time since we've done one ‒ maybe now with classes being over we'll be able to get some other people to come out with us. There, I know what I'm off to do as soon as I get this posted to all the sites it goes on.
Oh, and if you didn't get to read the blog about Xavi because it's preferred only ‒ that list is VERY exclusive (think like one), so don't take it personally.
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Floating Down a River of Light
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Posted:Dec 7, 2007 11:35 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1293 Views
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Saturday, 08 December 2007 (49-342)
So I'll preface this post by saying I'm heavily medicated at this moment ‒ but that I'm waiting for a task to finish on my computer that HAS to get done, and it keeps dying on me, so while I wait for it to run I figured what better to do at 0100 than write a blog! (Hey, in my current state of mind it seems like a good idea....)
River of Lights tonight was awesome! I was wondering how they would do it, and the rope lights they used for 99% of it worked well. I also appreciated the fact that they kept the desert biome southwestern by only using chile lights and luminarias. If you've never gone before, you really should go and check it out. I'd actually appreciate city art if they did more things like it than the stupid $10,000 vases on the side of I-40.
If you haven't been it's the botanical gardens with rope lights, Christmas lights, and a few coloured strobe lights throughout the park. It's all very tastefully done, and there is some amazing detail put into some of the pieces, many of which are shaped like animals to go along with the whole Aquarium-Zoo-Garden theme the city has going on. Seriously, kudos to whomever put it all together and the artists that crafted the pieces.
Parking wasn't all that bad, though I think the eight parking attendants they had was overkill. And to my amazement, no one did the typical New Mexican thing of when you're going to stop and look at something you stand in the middle of the walk-way so no one else can get by. Everyone, including the young , stepped themselves off to the side railing to look at whatever they wanted to look at ‒ almost made me think I was back in DC for a minute, but then everyone having to brake going through the green lights on the way home reminded me quite clearly I was still in the middle of no where.
Of course I no doubt have the company to thank for the great time ‒ Xavi and Ryan were both in great spirits, which really helped me because I was rather tired, nauseas, and in a bit of a funk ‒ so I'm glad they were both there and happy because it really helped keep me going.
After River of Lights I thought Xavi was probably just going to take off ‒ he seemed a little bit ready to leave, maybe it was just the way I was feeling being projected onto him -- I have a habit of doing that and was ready to go home and do something relaxing after walking around like a little school boy for two hours staring at bright/shiny things while sober!
Anyway, Xavi thankfully decided to hang out ‒ and also thankfully, we just decided to do a movie at the house. Neither of the two of them had ever seen Latter Days (Ryan didn't surprise me much, as I am slowly introducing him to gay-cinema and if I haven't shown him a gay-themed movie myself, chances are he's just never seen it.)
Great movie BTW ‒ if you haven't ever seen it, check it out ‒ it will make you laugh, make you cry, make you think, make you feel low, and make you feel high. It's really a great work of art, and it was nice to see it in such a pleasant setting as opposed to the last time I saw it where I was accused of basically trying to the person I watched it with on MySpace the next day......
Anyway....
After the movie we all just talked until just after midnight ‒ or rather, Xavi listened, I partially zoned out, and Ryan talked until just after midnight. Xavi said something strange I won't go into, just something that was rather odd and out of place for someone who's only hung out with us twice.
So there it is, my night in a nutshell ‒ damn, it feels nice to actually do something with my Friday nights again and hang out with people again - I miss that, damn I really, really, really do miss how social I used to be.
Now I'll just finish typing this up and get some sleep.
Oh yeah, real quick, have you noticed it doesn't really feel like Christmas yet? It's only a couple weeks away, I haven't done my shopping yet, and I feel that it's just going to come and go again like it has the last couple years without any magically feeling for it that I used to get. I haven't even sent out Christmas cards this year (a tradition I've kept thus far) and don't think I have the drive to actually go pick them up and mail them out....sad, but true.....maybe I'll do eCards this year and go from somewhat annoying to very annoying in people's book.
Wow, I have a tendency to ramble when I'm drugged....funny that. And here I was thinking my mind is on nothing but sex when I'm drugged, apparently not. (Which, for the record, nothing happened okay ‒ sheesh, I really can go five minutes without thinking about sex and can enjoy someone's company with my clothes on.)
Yay, the cats just knocked something over in the living room very loudly - I really don't want to deal with it, thankfully Anthony is up and is no doubt dealing with it himself so that I can get some rest ‒ god bless him for making sure that I don't go insane.
Speaking of Anthony, tomorrow I get to take Anthony to the airport, and either work on the straight guy from Passion's computer or go to work ‒ haven't decided which yet, they both need to be done this weekend, I just haven't decided which one I will do tomorrow and which I will do Sunday.
Hopefully Ryan is finally able to get some rest ‒ he's been insomniatic the last several nights ‒ and when he doesn't sleep, well, he's not usually all that fun to be around when he hasn't had his sleep....we'll just put it that way.
Wow, I never realized how many more words MS Office has in its dictionary than OOo does....strange, well at least it lets you add to a dictionary that's located on your home drive, so no matter how many upgrades or reinstalls you end up doing, you don't have to ever add a word a second time.
But yeah, my drugged up ass will shut up now and get some sleep.
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Finished with Finals
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Posted:Dec 7, 2007 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1152 Views
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Friday, 07 December 2007 (49-341)
My last final is over as of now! YAY!!!!! I don't know how I did, I really don't care to be honest, it's great that the semester is over and final grades will be coming out next week (which means I'll be getting an expense check in about three weeks provided I past everything).
In other news, work has been a bare the last couple of days. I guess after more than a year of doing nothing for my paycheck I can't complain too much about actually having to do some work for my money ‒ but it's just this whole “Feast or Famine” thing that gets to me.
As soon as I finish this posting (hopefully Ryan will be home by then) I gotta shave and shower and everything to go to River of Lights with Xavi and Ryan. It's sooo cute, I made the two of them into my background....not for the reason you're thinking, but because I wanted to play with G.I.M.P. and see if it really is *that* much easier to use than Photoshop ‒ and yeah, it is.
ATTENTION STRAIGHT GIRLS: I think I found an eligible guy for you. His name is Jake and he's been chatting with me for a few weeks. We first met him via Passion of all places (I tell you, straight guys on Passion can be funny)....found out he has a MySpace (http://Passion.com). He's a cutie, but most of all, he's a blast to chat with. And he's SINGLE! So, yeah, worthless for Ryan and I but any single girls that read my blog and are looking (don't have a clue if there are any) ‒ check him out.
He's going to come over sometime this weekend for us to fix his laptop (probably do a clean install of Windows and give him a nice arrangement of software.....after backing up his data of course.....) That would make two people we met this time off Passion ‒ guess paying for it the second time was worthwhile, even if one of them is straight and one is constantly busy.
Everything is great with Ryan and I in case you are wondering -- I know I haven't mentioned anything in the last couple blogs, but as an old married couple, very little changes with us and things are always good.
Along completely different lines - I have a puppy at work. This guy named John. He started about a month ago with the first round of new hires and now has started following me around the building on his breaks ‒ including to the urinal in the bathroom. He was sending some things via e-mail that probably shouldn't be on a company e-mail system (like “I want to suck you dry”) so I gave him my number to text me and told him we could TALK but that he would have to keep his distance at the office since I'm administration and he's not. He's been pretty good about it. Long story short ‒ he was in a relationship for 10 years with just one guy (the only guy he's ever been with) and that guy is no longer around and he has no gay friends or even a clue how to relate to gay people ‒ so Ryan and I will probably take him on as a project if I decide I have time between semesters and my classes at the start of next semester seem like they aren't going to kill me.
And in another random tid-bit of a blog, if you haven't looked into getting your prescriptions via mail-order but it's offered by your health plan, you should really check it out. Currently we pay about $200/month every month for just my prescriptions (the seven things I normally take) and then another $75 or so for Ryan's meds ‒ making our medication $375/month on the average. To get a three month's supply via mail-order is going to be $145 for me and another $60 for Ryan ‒ so, for $170 less than we usually pay for a one month supply ‒ we get a three month supply ‒ it's going to save us a fortune.....so yeah, check out if you have it, then get your doctor to write you prescriptions for 90 day supply with three refills so you have a year's worth ‒ and send them in. I wish someone had explained the numbers to me years ago, cause yeah, I would have been doing it for years if I had known.
On the home front ‒ everything is good. Anthony has been making great progress with the servers, and everything on the network seems to be holding together pretty well. David's been sick, but in a great mood regardless. Despite the fact that I swear he's moved in, I haven't really seen Michael or Mateo in the last week for more than a few minutes at a time. And of course all the pets are fine, we've managed to avoid the vet this week ‒ and all I can say is “a-fucken-men” to that. We don't go too often to the vet ‒ only every four months or so.....but it's always half a grand or more every time we make a trip, so I'm glad to avoid it while we still have Christmas shopping to do (which will hopefully be done in the next week).
So, work, school, home, randomness ‒ seems like a complete blog to me, so I guess I'll end it here and maybe next time I'll actually have a topic of some sort to write about that won't just be randomness to drive everyone up a wall....
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A Shadow of a Husk
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Posted:Nov 28, 2007 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1208 Views
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Here's an interesting social experiment:
Send all these random people on MySpace a long e-mail (think about 15 lines) explaining that I'm updating my Outlook contacts, would really like to send them a Christmas (e)card and ask for their e-mail address. Out of nearly 250 messages sent (thank god Firefox supports Macros) only five people replied over a period of more than a week!
So, I decided that I should try to be a little less tactful (this is New Mexico after all) ‒ and resent a message that just said “Bro, give me your e-mail address.” -- This one had almost 100 people reply to it overnight.
Therefore, it's become amazingly blatant to me that people don't like to be treated with respect, they want to be dominated, to be told what to do, to have you treat them a way that if someone treated me it would make me want to beat the shit out of them ‒ not give them the information they are asking for.
Maybe this is one of the problems that Ryan and I have? We are both kind, generous, easy going, well-mannered around new people, polite, and caring. Apparently this is a bad way to be. Though, I can't say I'm going to change anything ‒ cause I am who I am, and Ryan is who Ryan is, so people are just going to have to deal ‒ it's always nice to make a self-discovery like this though, helps me understand the world (and by way of myself) a little bit.
Speaking of other strange social experiments I've been doing: try asking a guy what his favorite rose is. My best friend growing up had a (like a second) mother who was a florist and taught me the best rose/flower to send on each occasion and what each color of everything represents, etc. It's amazing the responses you get ‒ with most of them being something along the lines of “I'm a guy, why would I care about a flower.”
Guess it was the way I was raised, but whenever Ryan brings me flowers I melt ‒ and I LOVE to give roses to people when I have a reason to; but at least the responses to the question have help explained why anytime I've given a guy flowers he looks at me like I have three heads and each one is a different shade of vomit! Oh well......
In other news, I have my second final tonight ‒ I really should be studying instead of composing this in the classroom before the test, but I never get anything big out of cram sessions.....I forget it all as soon as I read it and then remember it a week later ‒ so cram sessions for anything are pretty much a waste of time for me.
My last final (a presentation) is tomorrow night. We are presenting over Prime as a company we had to profile to present on. It's nice to work for a great company that was chosen to be profiled ‒ and they feel the love themselves being so far five people have sworn they will show up and watch the presentation over the company.
Speaking of work ‒ we still have one position open that doesn't require medical experience if anyone is looking for a decent paying job (sucks it's on the west side) then ask me for info.....
Also speaking of work ‒ I really need a weekend off. I haven't had a weekend off this entire month (and it's almost over) and found out that I have to work the first weekend of December (aka, this coming weekend). Why you might ask? Well, they finish training at 1630 on Friday with all 60 PCs in the training room (the original number asked for was 40). There are 20 empty cubicals scattered throughout the floor ‒ and rather than sitting people where there are computers, they just want every single cube populated by 0700 on Monday morning. So, I get to go move 20 PCs out of the training room onto the floor, leaving them with 40 in the training room, which was the whole plan to start out with but had to be changed a dozen times to get us back in the same form but just coming from a different person....
Anyway, in other news:
I really need a hair cut. The hair around my ears is starting to really bother me ‒ maybe I'll go do that after work tomorrow....
In all truthfulness, I shouldn't be doing anything after work and probably shouldn't even be going to work. I've been under the weather all week. Woozy, tired, light-headed, and dehydrated. It's been fun I'll tell you ‒ and I for sure haven't been bringing my A-Game anywhere with me and this week it's seemed I needed it everywhere.
After my last final tomorrow I'll go home, sleep, still feel like shit the next day cause it's Friday ‒ and come Monday I'll finally feel fine ‒ just in time to go to work.
The social life is improving for Ryan and I a little lately ‒ it's hard for a couple to have a social life, you wouldn't believe the bs we hear all the time and what some guys want to put you through when you just want to be friends.
L came over last weekend to hang out some and that was fun ‒ first time we had gotten to use the pool table in nearly the year since we got it.
Then there was the movie with Xavi I wrote a whole blog about this past week....seems to have some potential since he wants to go check out the River of Lights with us next Friday night. Should be a lot of fun from everything I hear (though I've never been before). His birthday is this Friday, so he'll be turning the ripe old age of 19-- thanks to years of drug usage when I was his age I can't even remember what it was like to be 19!!! The only problem so far with Xavi is he is like never available ‒ he texts, MySpaces, e-mails, or calls us every day but he can never hang out. I have a full-time job and manage 12 credit hours and I can find time, so being unemployed and a just having school he should be able to find the time. 
I'm bitter in my old age and jaded when I'm sick I realize, well, I am bitter and jaded all the time, but just realize it when I'm sick.
And the guy beside me keeps reading over my shoulder so I am going to put something in here about him because it's none of his business what I do with my own PC via LogMeIn on the school's PC unless he happens to be a teenage administrator for the college.
And here it is time for the final and here comes the instructor so I guess I will write more later when I get home after the final ‒ if you happen to magically read this before I post it, then cross your fingers for me.
So that's over.
I passed. 80%. Considering I'm feeling like shit, didn't show up for class but once in a blue moon, and never even opened my book once --- I think it's a pretty decent grade. And as certification tests and life have taught me ‒ there are only two grades in everything in life: pass and fail. I passed, so I'm happy.
Besides, my head is already into next semester and all that ‒ gotta start buying books with this check after paying bills and doing Christmas shopping. I think I'm just going to ask everyone for cash for Christmas to pay me back for the usual $600-750 I have to dole out for books every semester. Being that's about how much we are spending total for Christmas, should be realistic to get about that amount in ‒ it's going to be a decent Christmas this year with all the overtime I'm pulling lately.
Oh yeah ‒ Thanksgivings. Well, we had Thanksgiving at Ryan's parents and yeah, love the in-laws....that's all I can say. Sunday we did my parents, and we tried to set up their computers (early Christmas gifts) but, yeah, lots of trouble there.
We tried to bring home one of their totally lovable dogs ‒ but being it had never seen a cat and thought of them as moving chew toys.....which, lead Ryan to take her back to Grants with Clayton after just two days (thank god Ryan and Clayton did it ‒ I really, really, really hate the drive to Grants ‒ my parents don't realize how we'd probably visit a lot more if they didn't live so far from everything).
I'm sure there is more ‒ but this is already really long and I should go rest....so I'll end it here for now and write more tomorrow or the next day....
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Head in the Front Seat of a Small Car
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Posted:Nov 23, 2007 11:03 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1199 Views
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What to write about….what to write about….
Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter ‒ I’ve already posted two blogs in a one week period ‒ and so a third is probably going to be overkill for too many people and it just won’t get read.
I usually go back and read my own journal entries from 1, 3, 5, even 10 years ago now to see where I was at during different points in my life and realize how far I’ve really come. I find get solace in the fact that things used to be much worse for me, and hope that the future might get better still.
I cannot write about what I would really like to write about tonight, though, I suppose that doesn’t matter because the one person who SHOULD read what I would like to write about doesn’t read my blogs anyway unless I sit him down and hold a gun to his head with the page already open, so it doesn’t really matter in any form of the scheme of things I guess….
I saw Hitman tonight with Ryan and Xavi. Kind of a threeway date thing if you can believe it.
Xavi was great ‒ very attractive, very easy to get along with, very easy to get to know, not yet jaded enough to belong in the gay community, but yet bitter enough to get the majority of my jokes. Ryan and he hit it off really well.
The movie wasn’t my type by any means. Lots of things blowing up. Lots of people dying. Lots of shooting.
There were just two things that kept me from getting up and walking out of the theatre: 1) the fact the majority of it was filmed in St. Petersburg and Moscow, with lots of Russian signage and dialog ‒ and if you know me, anything that deals with Mother Russia gives me a hard-on; 2) the lead was hot ‒ thankfully they didn’t do a sub-plot of love and straight sex like I was expecting them to do, but, his looks were definitely keeping the majority of my attention during the movie.
I didn’t even bother to notice some things that would usually catch my attention.
The entire rest of the row was some pubescent teenage boys ‒ like 14/15 years old (and not a cute one among them). The one right next to meet kept looking over at me, which I thought was my imagination until Xavi mentioned it after the movie.
Anyway, the is one sick little sadistic fuck ‒ every time someone died in some way, he would grab himself and made it look like he was readjusting, but he had like a 4” hard-on going on and was fucking jacking off through his shorts whenever someone’s life would end ‒ it was twisted and very much like a train wreck.
Can I just say that cars really should be made with three front seats instead of two? Obviously I need to talk to the designers of some vehicles to see what kind of lives they lead and what they were thinking.
So, now I lay here with Ryan texting Xavi beside me.
I have an entire bar of Xanax in me and a good five or six shots of vodka ‒ you’d expect that I would be feeling rather good, but in reality, I’m not really feeling much of anything ‒ which I suppose is the preferable feeling at the moment…
All this wonderful inspiration ‒ a night that was awesome and ended crashing into the rocks, lots of liquid encouragement, and I can’t think of anything to write about…
..again though, who’s really going to read this? Who is really going to understand what I’m talking about? I doubt in five years looking back at this blog entry that any of it would even be meaningful enough for me to remember what I was rambling about…so, I guess I should just stop rambling and end it all here.
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Sex with Andrew
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Posted:Nov 20, 2007 2:35 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1183 Views
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I am going to toot my own horn for a minute and say not only have I never had a complaint about myself in bed, I’ve gotten more than my fair share of compliments. (Amazing I know, considering my physical, monetary, and general overall appearances.)
Why the fuck do you care enough for me to mention this you might ask? Well, I was thinking the other night about how little I have to offer, and how some of the people that gave the compliments told them to people I would never have expected them to and were people that otherwise seemed to hate my guts, so there must be some truth to it. But, sex is rather mechanical for most people, so I decided to analyze what is different with me and work my thoughts through on paper ‒ which might as well make a suitable blog entry.
I think where I vary from a lot of people is that I seem to always emotionally be in adolescence, and all the trials, tribulations, and stupid errors that entails. For some reason while people guess my age correctly based on my appearance, think I’m in my 30s or older when they just speak with me or read what I write, emotionally I seem to be stuck with the same understandings and abilities I had when I was 15.
This would include the one of falling easily ‒ way, way, way too easily. Now, don’t think any of this has to do with Ryan ‒ because, well, our relationship is very special and unlike anything I’ve ever known, and I don’t think the word “love” is strong enough or encompassing enough to cover what I feel for him. But, I still find myself….ummm….what’s the word: smittened. Smittened very, very easily and I think that’s because emotionally I never grew-up (like I know I was supposed to.)
You add this to something that the gay community tried (probably thousands of times, and not exaggerating because it’s not a fact I’m proud of that it was that often) to train me into knowing that emotions and sex are two completely separate and distinct entities and that you can just fuck and have it mean nothing. I never got this concept, and have always tied physical intimacy with at least a primordial emotional connection. Logically, yes, I get it ‒ but emotionally I’ve never been able to separate the two into their own neat little boxes like it seems every other gay man ever born can do from the moment they are conceived.
Taken these together, and I never had sex with anyone without feeling some emotion.
Now yes, I realize the orgies back in DC seem to be proof otherwise ‒ but, I was always fucked up out of my gourd for those things. I ask you though ‒ if you’ve ever rolled, swirled, (or depending on your personality and how you handle it) tweaked; do you not develop almost instant emotional connections with complete strangers? Who’s to say that first of all that those emotional connections are not valid on some level? Why must just because they are drug induced chemical reactions in your brain doesn’t mean they meant less at the time and place then the exactly same chemical reactions that happen in the brain due to a different set of stimuli?
Additional problem ‒ once I sobered up, the ghosts of those emotions still lingered, and while it wasn’t nearly as strong, I still felt something that I can’t quite describe (but you probably know the exact feeling) for them for days, weeks, sometimes months afterwards.
This means that I’ve never really “fucked” in my life. Rather, I’ve sort of always “made love.” I know it sounds just…well…..WRONG to say that I ‘made love to tricks and one night stands;’ but, every time I did something with someone, at that exact moment, at that exact time, I thought that maybe there might be a future of some sort with that person that would include me. Naïve, stupid, just plain funny I know ‒ but nonetheless, it’s how my mental state always has been and still is when I have sex with someone. Probably the reason actual whores never did it for me, though I did have a nasty habit of dating them for a while.
That being said, I was always passionate with my sex. Very tender, slow, none of that wham-bam-thanks for helping me cum-Man bullshit that is so common. Lots of kissing, always tons of kissing through the whole thing, nibbling, and always with the body contact. There always was a new area to explore on my lover and no matter how many times he came, I wouldn’t let myself cum until I hate researched, explored, licked, caressed, and memorized every one.
So maybe that’s the trick that I seemed to have acquired….the fact that I’ve never had the “mechanical,” “same old vanilla,” “plain Jane” sex that most people complain about falling into ruts with. It’s always something new for me, something exciting, and maybe, just maybe, I’m able to transfer some of my excitement to my partner.
Sadly, if that is the case, it means that either I’ll be stuck emotionally as I have ever been and while being serious about pleasing the other person, will always end up feeling empty and hollow inside ‒ or, I’ll grow up emotionally, learn the difference, and suddenly start having boring mechanical sex. Hmmm…..call me negative, but seems like I’m fucked either way.
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Just an Update
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Posted:Nov 18, 2007 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 5:36 am
1206 Views
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It's been a while since I posted, so I figured that this is as good a time as any to write something up and put it up for all my adoring fans. J/K ‒ I know that most only read my blog out of sheer boredom....
I'll start with the best thing first....that way you can just stop reading after this if you want. I started talking to a porn star!!! Jackson from ASG (and a whole bunch of other straight porn ‒ though he likes to fuck guys in the ass, go figure) ‒ and yes, I can't go into exactly how I did it, but short of video and phone wizardry on his part, it is him.
Okay, now on to the more mundane things in my life....
School is going, well, it's going. My last post was just real quick and over the first final I had ‒ glad to be done with that class aside from some presentation I have to BS my way through in a week and a half. I am down to just the final in my other classes and already registered and paid for next semester....now I just need to get the books for next semester and everything will be hunky doory (provided I can keep up with the course load I'm going to attempt). Next semester should be all easy classes, but it kind of worries me because the easier a class is, the more it seems the professors have to hold you late and assign tons of busy work to justify why you are receiving credit for the class at all.
Work is going well....I need a day off though. Worked all weekend this weekend, will have Thanksgiving off, but not the day or the weekend after. This project is really starting to kick my ass.... On the bright side of it all though, I was able to get some contractors to come in under me to do some of the more grunt-focused work ‒ and low-and-behold, some how I lucked out and managed to get all contractors who actually work while on the clock. So, that turned out to be a very good thing indeed and I am actually now about a week ahead of the project from where I should have my stuff. Now, depending on how long everyone else takes to get their parts down, we'll see how much of that one week I'm able to hold onto.
Things with Ryan are going well. We might have found a solution to the problem that has been plaguing us for a while ‒ just have to wait till both of our work schedules calm down in order to see.
Everything around the house is going well, and the house is actually in pretty good financial shape and should be in fantastic shape a month from now once all of its shareholder debt has been paid off in full and all rent monies are able to invested directly into the house itself....we're still on plan to buy a house around New Years of 2011 ‒ unless something unforeseen happens, that is the plan, and we're well on schedule.
Football season is well underway this year, and I've noticed a new trend out here ‒ gay guys that have all of a sudden this year decided they are into football. It's killing what little I have of a social life and I just want to know what the hell is up with this?!? Hopefully it's a fad that dies soon.
Anyway, Ryan and I are going to go out to DC to visit Ryan Carroll sometime after the New Year. He wants us to fly out Christmas Day and stay for three weeks, but that's a long as time to be visiting someone and I know that we'll more than wear out our welcome after about five days. Have you looked at airline fares lately? Holy cum guzzling road Batman! After I get done with this blog entry and have it posted in all the places I usually post it, then I'll do some more research to see if we can get a good deal or not sometime during the winter break ‒ cause I can take off work, but not ready to miss school to go hang out back home.
Can I just say I love Plaxo. If you haven't checked it out, you should. (http://Passion.com) It allows you to update your contact details (say you change your phone number) on their website once ‒ and everyone who has you in their address book (whether they use Outlook, Thunderbird, Gmail, Yahoo, MSN, AIM/AOL, all the big ones anyway) will automatically get all your up-to-date information. I used to use an old version, and it always did this, but now they just released a newer version that keeps track of not just name, address, but also screennames, websites, pictures of the person (so when they send you an e-mail their photo comes up), MySpace, Facebook, and all the other social networking addresses. And on the website, once you are linked with people, you can see their updates to all of their social networking sites without having to go to each one individually to see what everyone is up to. Seriously, hate to sound like an ad, but check it out if you haven't yet.
So yeah, that's about it ‒ kind of sad now that I type it all out and realize that despite being weeks since I posted, I really have nothing to post! Oh well, maybe some kind soul out there will come along and help make my life more interesting so that I can post more intriguing stuff.
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