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I see the secrets u don't show
 
just random thoughts, desires etc
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Thinking I might like to try this thing they call Dating
Posted:Apr 8, 2017 1:55 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2020 6:17 am
2451 Views
Or perhaps not. I enjoy my freedom a lot. I like sleeping in the middle of the bed, I like that I don't have to shave my legs etc everyday. I like the right to choose. So I've been using a dating site, and I've met 2 men recently and I've been talking to another who is a friends who is 25 and makes me feel so old it's insane. But he's hot, so it's all good. So, Guy 1 is hot and hes sexy naked with a long dick. He's funny, easy to spend time with but not looking for a relationship, so of course I want him. Guy 2 is nice, funny, big dick and wants to date me. He likes me and I just can't feel it. And that's not fair is it, but it's like I feel like if I let him go, he'll find someone else and I'll end up alone. My mum calls is in a manger, I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either and he deserves better. Tonight, I have the option of choosing which one I want. The one who will leave after great sex, or the one who wants to stay and cuddle. This should be simple - but it sucks
4 Comments
Hello Strangers
Posted:Aug 7, 2016 6:35 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2020 6:18 am
3385 Views

What's been happening? I've been enjoying the single life. Casually seeing a few dudes here and there, but pretty much enjoying being on my own. Went on a date recently, but it was hard work. Just didn't have a connection, but apparently that was only me feeling it because he asked me out again. I felt absolutely nothing. Starting to wonder if my heart has turned to ice
1 comment
Life is pretty darn good right now
Posted:Sep 22, 2015 5:22 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2020 6:19 am
7634 Views

So the past few months, I've been single and instead of missing sex and missing companionship, I've just been busy living life. I joined a fb group that's adults only and I've met some really incredible people. Both male and female and even though a couple of guys have hit on me, they've been really good at accepting that I don't want to date or have casual sex. It's comforting to have people who know how you feel after the end of a significant relationship and by that, I don't mean the most recent guy I was seeing, I mean the end of my long term relationship with my 's father. My ex has moved in with a new woman who has a and has decided to start seeing our . It's hard for me to see my baby go off with my ex, not because I want my ex back, but because I'm scared about what might happen while he's gone. I enjoy sleeping alone, I enjoy doing things at my pace and sleeping in or watching a movie or eating junk food whenever I feel like it. I have some anxiety when I think about dating because it's been so long and then I just think fck it - life's good right now, I don't need anyone else. Maybe one day, but right now, I'm just not into it
1 comment
Something you want to know?
Posted:Sep 20, 2015 6:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2017 1:40 am
7582 Views
The easiest way to get the info you want? Come direct to the source. If you have a question about me, post it in the comments
2 Comments
lust over love
Posted:Jun 1, 2015 6:59 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2015 6:30 am
8491 Views

I truly believe in lust over love. If you can keep your emotions out of it, you can have a fantastic and fulfilling time. Once you start to care, it's time to move on. With all the dramas that are going on, I think it might be time to just stay clear of the lying and the bullshit and just have a physical arrangement for a while. Enjoy being young and free
0 Comments
How did this happen?
Posted:May 23, 2015 7:12 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:8 am
8705 Views

Too weak to say no, or maybe I enjoy the whole bullshit situation, but I've been sleeping with my ex again. The past two Friday's, at lunchtime, there he is knocking on my door. I let him in. We kiss, passionately, there's groping and biting and sucking and then we're naked on my bed and he's fucking me hard with his massive dick and staring me in the eyes, telling me he loves me and all I want is to cum and then it's rolling over me, wave after wave and I'm screaming. He flips me over and I'm burying my face in the pillow to stop the neighbours from thinking I'm being murdered. And he fucks me good and hard and my pussy feels like it's broken and when it's over, I can't stand and he's hanging on to me. He tells me I'm killing him. When we have settled and can breathe again, he watches me shower and wash him from my skin, sometimes he gets in, and sometimes he leaves with my perfume all over his skin. It doesn't feel any different, except he can't stay the night anymore.
1 comment
Marriage of convenience
Posted:May 16, 2015 5:30 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2015 7:04 am
8792 Views

Seems like I look desperate enough to marry a guy so he can gain entry in my beautiful home land. Nup, don't think so. I already find our immigration laws too free and easy, why would I marry someone to give them a free pass in?
I don't believe in marriage as a business arrangement, no matter what the excuse or how much money is on offer. If you want to be an australian citizen, work for it.
There are no free rides, I'm getting pretty sick of guys thinking I'm stupid enough to fall for it
2 Comments
I'm a disaster
Posted:May 15, 2015 5:18 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:8 am
8844 Views

So many things have been happening in the last few weeks. Monday, I had a birthday, so the man I've been seeing since december last year, took me out for a movie to celebrate. I've been trying to cut all ties with him since the revelation of the wife and baby in Taiwan. I hadn't succeeded. There is something about this man that has buried itself deep inside me and even though I know it's wrong, I can't give him up. And on wednesday morning, she and the baby arrived from Taiwan. They've been fighting a fair bit, she screams at him in chinese and he tells her he is the boss. I seriously dont understand the need to be in such a crappy relationship. She tells him he isnt rich enough, she's talking about what he should be paying her according to the pre-nup and he's always going on about her obsession with money. It's so frustrating - they are just always saying they hate each other and threatening to break up, but I have a feeling they won't. They enjoy these bullshit games. He's ringing me 5- 10 times a day, when he's pissed at her or he doesnt feel like going home. He tells me he loves me, that he's never had a woman like me, that he's never been this honest with any woman. but to me, he's disrespecting me, assuming I'm content to play this role as side bitch. I'm not a mistress or anybody's side bitch. I should be someone's number 1 and he says I'm better than that, yet he treats me like a . Why the fuckity fuck can I not get this guy out of my head and out of my life ? he's destroying me with this bullshit and when he turned up on my doorstep at lunchtime, I wanted to fuck him. And that's where the problem lies. I don't want him all the time, but I did enjoy seeing him a few times a week for a good time. And he doesnt like living with someone full time, so it works.... when she's not here. But she is - her return ticket is the 24th June but she's not guaranteed to go back so how do I get him out of my head ?
0 Comments
Upcoming Birthday
Posted:Apr 12, 2015 5:57 am
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2015 5:39 am
9392 Views

Can you believe in a month I will be 33? Yep 33!!! I remember as a I thought 30 was ancient, then I hit 20 and thought "god dammit, this is just the beginning" and I was wild and free and loved my life. And I burned through men like they were going out of style. I broke a few hearts after having mine ripped out at 21 when I was still dumb enough to believe the lies told by men. He destroyed my trust. We met when I was 19, he was the third man I'd been with, he promised me forever and we played happy family, setting up house and pretending all was sunshine and roses. In reality, he was an alcoholic, I was an enabler. I was always there to pick up the pieces, feed his when he was too drunk or working weekends. At 22, he left me without warning for a waitress at a truck stop. I didn't know it til later, but I was pregnant. I felt destroyed and I told myself I would never let myself get tied down again. I realised I was pregnant a few weeks after he left, I'd gone away for a break because I couldn't eat or sleep. I knew when it happened what it was and I was relieved. There was no part of me tied to him, no reason to have to talk to him again. And I haven't. So, at 22 I was free. And I was wild. I wanted to be crazy and have fun and not worry about strings or commitment. For me, sex was just fun. I was cruel and heartless and treated nice guys badly. I didn't date, I just used them for sex. I burned through a lot of them, I didn't chase them, I let them chase me and when I was bored, I removed them from my life. When I was 24, I got the news that a friend had contracted HIV. It scared me to death. Here I was, no commitments, living a free life (always safely!!) and this person had made a mistake that could end up taking their life. I felt like they'd received a death sentence. In that moment. Everything changed for me, I woke up and thought "do I want to die at 24?" I didn't, I found a nice guy, boring but stable, had a baby. But I didn't want a relationship, so I broke his heart and took our . Couple of years later, I met a wolf in sheeps clothing who fooled me into thinking I could make it work. He was a bum, a leech with the cutest dimples you've ever seen, and a violent streak like you wouldn't believe. So, last year, I took my babies and I walked out. I've realised that it's not worth it. Forcing yourself to conform to what other people want you to be. I'm 32, I've made so many mistakes, it would fill a book. But right now, I'm happy. I don't feel an emptiness inside me that I'd been trying to fill in all those years. I had felt like if I left before them, I was in control. I wouldn't be hurt if I left first. But that's not true. You don't walk away unscathed when you inflict pain on someone else. It's there, like a tiny shadow. When you own your behaviour, that's when you gain freedom. I can't change how I spent those years, but I can make sure I don't repeat them. So next month, I'll be 33. Single, with two , happy and free for the first time in a decade. It's never too late to be the best you, this is my year.
0 Comments
Happy Easter
Posted:Apr 5, 2015 6:46 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:8 am
9307 Views
Hope your Easter has been amazeballs!!! We are celebrating tomorrow, with the bunny delaying his visit until this evening when both are finally home together. Access visits suck! Chocolate during the Easter period to date : 12 freddo frogs and a small Cadbury egg. Looking forward to seeing my babies faces tomorrow morning, there are 40 giant eggs scattered through my house. Pray to god these are found before our freakin heat wave melts them. 30 degrees for Easter is not right where are u winter? Are you going to grace us with your presence at all this year ? Take care and have a beautiful Easter xxx

0 Comments
He drives me crazy but I can't help loving him
Posted:Mar 16, 2015 7:23 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2024 5:8 am
9607 Views

This guy frustrates the hell out of me, but he's funny and interesting and the sex is good. Crazy crazy man, but I just want to go along for the ride anyway.
0 Comments
How do you deal with a relationship on borrowed time ?
Posted:Feb 23, 2015 5:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2015 5:42 am
10390 Views

I'm crazy into my current bf. I mean literally out of my mind into this man. It's not just the sex, it's ok, not the best I've ever have and he's been blessed with a very large dick, but there's something else about him. Maybe it's because we have such different lives, a different past, that he maybe seems more exciting to me. He tells me he hates being touched when he's falling asleep, but won't let me let go and he hugs me all night. I'm not used to that, I like my own space, something he claims to enjoy as well, however, every morning we wake up tangled in each other. I enjoy the hours we spend talking on the phone or FaceTime when we aren't together. I like that he gives me all his attention all of the time. I like that it hurts him when I talk to other men. If you've read my recent posts, he's the one I've been talking about. The one with the wife and baby in Taiwan, the one I'm going to have to say goodbye to. I didn't choose to hook up with a married man, I'm not a home wrecker and she left him and went to Taiwan, nobody knew if she was coming back, but it looks like she might and I'm not sure how to say goodbye to him. I feel guilty, being with him, but what woman walks out on her husband and leaves the country 2 days after getting married ? Sorry, but if it was me, I wouldn't leave
4 Comments
I'm a disaster with dating and relationships
Posted:Feb 9, 2015 4:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2020 6:23 am
11099 Views

I came across an article online that said that the sunday after new years day was the busiest time of year for people trying to find love. It's also a peak period between new year and valentine's day. Why is this so? is it the pressure to start the new year in a happy and successful relationship or the desire to have someone for valentine's day. Why are we so scared to be alone ? is it not better to be alone than stuck in a relationship with a douche? Ok, so yep, I have had my share of crap relationships and I've done more than my share of whining about being single. But when I compare it to the experience of actually going on a first date, I think I prefer being single. I detest first dates, in fact I don't enjoy the first few. I feel pressured to live up to other peoples expectations. Hence why I rarely commit to a date. My first meeting with my current bf? he just jumped in the car and drove out to me. He ignored all my excuses and pushed away all the bullshit. And it worked out (for now anyway, we'll see how it pans out). I've met my last few bf's through online dating. I've had a profile here for many many years, but I've rarely met anyone in person. I had a casual affair with one over a couple of years and I had a very complicated 3 year relationship resulting in a small with another. Even if it's just a sexual relationship, I find it difficult to commit to meeting. I don't know if I expect too much or if it's because of my fear of rejection or both. I'm scared of commitment as well. In general, I just don't know what I want. I want to sleep alone, but I want someone in my bed. I want my own space, but I want someone to hang out with. It's confusing enough for me, imagine dragging someone else into the mix lol. Is it just me? I'm in my early 30's I should have my shit together by now, I should be confident, I should be looking for a committed relationship. Isn't that what society tells us? I have to say though, I'm getting sick of all the younger men calling me a cougar, I'm not that bloody old. Does anyone understand my issues? or am I a freak ?
2 Comments

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