Capital City here I am.....
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Posted:Sep 29, 2015 3:04 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:19 am
6617 Views
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well finally made the move to capital city. been here almost a month and i am not sure if i like it or not. guess you could say that no matter where you move to it takes a little time to get use to the place.
i do have to admit that it is nice to have friends that are closer. just hopefully schedules will work out sooner than later so i will have the chance to hang out with them.
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thoughts.....
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Posted:Jul 1, 2014 3:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:19 am
11833 Views
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tonight before i laid down i did like i always do and took bear out so he could do his thing... i was sitting there on the steps to the building like i always do and let him wander around in the courtyard grass. tonight was a little different then some of the nights that i am sitting out there. becaquse of sad news that i got tonight i figured that this would be a good time to send my prayers up.
i guess that you could say that i have been kind of blessed in my life despite all that i have been through. one of my mom's high school best friends lives not to far from hutch and they literally have been my adopted family since i moved here to ks in 07. there isn't a holiday or special event that goes by that i haven't been invited to, and the majority of the time mom and i would spend all those holidays and special events with them. barb & dean i have always called mom & dad, and their youngest of 3 daughters brandy has always been my sister.
no matter what i have gone through i have always had their support, whether it was just a phone converstation or a hug, or them staying with me for the last day/night of my mom's life so i wouldn't be alone. brandy and i have been the ones that have always looked after the mom's. both of them. and through out the years because to me they are family i have done whatever was asked of me to do.
earlier tonight before i took bear out i got a phone call, my cell was in the other room so i didn't hear the initial call and it was from mom, she left a voice mail and it didn't sound to good. so of course right then i started to feel a little bit of panic set in. i called back to find out what was going on. tonight we found out that she is in renal failure, about 3 weeks after easter she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and has been hospitalized twice in the last 6 weeks. shortly before the diagnosis of the congestive heart failure she saw the kidney specialist and he told her that it was one of her meds on why what ever blood test they gave her that ran high.
right now i am so angered with that kidney doctor because he didn't seem to do enough. if he would have been more agressive in her care this might have been prevented right now. i know that i am not a doctor but this is what my mind is telling me.
i know that i am going to loose her and that makes me very sad. i know that the pain and medical problems she has will be gone when i loose her and that i will be thankful for but it just hurts.
it feels like i am re-living last year with the losses that i had then and i don't know if i am going to be able to keep myself together. i have always believed that you are never given more then you can handle but when is this heartache that i seem to continually have to go through end.
as i was sending my prayers up tonight while sitting on my building stairs it seemed like i was being told that they were being heard with the beautiful light show that was going on through the sky. i could smell the rain in the air even though it hadn't started to come down yet and as i was looking towards the sky i did get to see something that i hadn't seen in a long time. out of the corner of my eye i saw a yellowish green flash so i diverted my eyes towards the ground over the court yard and i had to watch for a few minutes before the lightening bugs started to flash again
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Respect....
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Posted:Jun 3, 2014 2:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:19 am
12499 Views
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I"m not sure why the word "respect" came into my mind tonight, but it did. with that i started to think about what i was taught by my parents about respect. unlike a lot of households mine wasn't one that just because someone was older then you, you had to show them respect. sure that y'all know the old saying "respect your elders" yeah that didn't happen in my house with the exception of mom & dad but hey they were mom and dad.
at a very young age my brother and myself were taught that respect was something that you earned, no matter your age. growing up i feel that i had a lot of respect for both of my parents and i believe that i held that same respect for them both until their passing.
for those that read this and know me personally (ie outside of the internet world) know that i am the type of person that would give the shirt off my back to help a friend out, i trust people far to easily, and i try my best to respect the people around me. well that is until that respect is lost.
i guess that you could say that everyone i encounter whether it is online or in real life automatically gets a certain amount of respect from me. for me though it is a worse thing if you loose my respect then if you loose my trust. mind you loosing my trust is never a good thing, but i have found myself more easily able to forgive one that looses my trust then one that i have lost respect for.
there are people in this world that will have my respect until my dying day. the first group of those people would be the members of the armed forces. yes i am sure that you are thinking well why them, i don't know 99.58% of them either via online contact or personally so why would this person give them that much respect. well the reason for this is that these are the men and women that are giving their lives so i can live freely. they are the reason that i am able to respect everyone else. to me they are deserving of my respect until my last breath and this is something that will never change.
i also have a few great uncles that i will respect til my dying day and a few great aunts as well (even though they have already passed away), along with my grandparents who will always have respect as well.
because i am the type of person that i am, i put a very high value on the people that i call my friends. there are a few of them over the years that i have forgiven for things that most wouldn't have forgiven. until recently only 1 person that has entered my life in the last 7 years has been on the verge of loosing my respect. it is weird my head tells me that i need to get his side of the story. because i know that i can jump to some conclusions with things, i have done it before. my heart is telling me that he is no longer someone that i should respect or give the time of day to because of all the hurt that he has done to our friendship over the years.
but on another note i would love to find out what other people feel about respect and how they were raised to use it (i guess that is the best way to phrase that)
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users vs use'es
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Posted:May 31, 2014 3:01 am
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2014 4:39 pm
12764 Views
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one of the things that has been on my mind was a comment that one of my fellow chatters said the other day in chat and it has kinda stuck with me. his comment was "what women would do for a free meal" this really got me thinking of the years that i have been in chat, not just on this site but others as well. i remember a few years ago where one of the local chatters and i were on the phone and she had me hold on for her because ups showed up at the door and one her regular "flirts" from the site sent her a new computer system because she stated to them that hers was going out or needed fixed or something. i was really stunned then and shocked that some guy that she had never met and never had any intention of meeting would do this.
then the chatter made that comment.
i have seen it so many times to where someone would hint that they wanted something (and yes it was usually a female) and the next thing you know they are getting it from one of the males. then a month or two later you would hear the guy spattering and sputtering because said female wouldn't talk to them any more.
those honestly were the times when i just wanted to do a "gibbs smack" up to the back of the head to them and believe me if i had the button that would allow me to do this via online i would be one happy person.
i'm very shocked on how many females have the gall to ask to borrow money or ask for things that they want/need from guys that they really don't know except for seeing a screen name in the room. i'm not shocked as much from the number of guys that are generous enough to "put out" what ever it is that these girls are asking for. the shocking thing to me is how the guy acts about it when the female doesn't want to talk to them any more. and of course the other shocking thing with the guys that they believe that "payback" is actually going to happen, in what ever form was discussed.
i do have one male friend that i have known over the years that really does have a huge heart and would help out anyone that needs it. i have seen him get walked on by many of females that chat and i believe that it is because he does have a huge heart on why this happens. i know of several that he has helped over the years in chat that haven't paid him back a cent of what he loaned them but yet he continues to do it over and over again.
smh
sometimes i just wish that they would wake up, but i guess this is just a vicious cycle that will continue on and on until they do.
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Still screaming....
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Posted:May 29, 2014 8:19 am
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2014 4:41 pm
12546 Views
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well last night in order to walk into my bedroom i had to put down two yes 2 towels and i also put my box fan on high in the hallway to help try to dry it out.
this morning i stopped at the office and requested that they bring me the damn wet/dry vac and i will run it if they are not wanting to in order to get this moisture up.
i was then told by maintenance that they were working on the pool (yes somehow in the idiots mind that is more important) and once they were done with that they would come do it.
Can you fucking be serious???? This shit with the water collecting on my bedroom floor from NOTHING that I did has been going on since monday night and i have to wait for you (maintenance) to work on the pool before you fucking take care of it. think i am going to call my lawyer today and see what i can do about this. my lease isn't up until the end of sept but with all my medical issues this is turning into where it is not sanitary for me to maintain staying here if they aren't going to take care of it.
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Another day of screaming
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Posted:May 29, 2014 4:07 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2014 8:20 am
12716 Views
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Here i am thinking that things are going pretty good but then life has to throw me another curve ball and i go to screaming again.
memorial weekend was a pretty uneventful weekend. believe me that is the way i wanted it to be. honestly i probably should have driven out to the farm to spend time with the family and put flowers on the graves but i just didn't feel up to a 8 1/2 hr round trip in the car so i stayed home. to me that wasn't that big of a deal, but i swear that i'm paying for not going now. lol
monday night around 11pm i go into my bedroom to go to bed. i take one step into the bedroom door and the floor was wet where i stepped. mind you when i walk into the bedroom at night it is completely dark in there, so the first thought that i had was " did bear have an accident that i didn't know about" well i make it to the bed and get my bedside light turned on and i see this fairly good sized wet spot on the floor. i then realized that i hadn't taken my night meds so i get back up and come back out to the living room to get them, step opposite of this wet spot to make sure that i didn't get a wet foot again and it is wet there as well. one thing that you would have to know about the carpet in my apartment if you get it wet then you can tell that it is wet, it is a tan carpet and when it gets wet it turns to a dark brown. at this point i know that there is something wrong, so here i am at 11pm calling into the maintenance to let them know that there is water pooling on my bedroom floor with no obvious signs of where it is coming from. the maintance (a little 19 yr old that really doesn't know much) calls me to let me know that he will be here at 9:30 in the morning in order to get it looked at. okay i am okay with that it will get fixed in the morning no biggie... yeah right if my life would be so easy.
bear decided to wake me up at 3 am that morning and i couldn't get back to sleep. so we watched tv and waited for the maintenance man to come and look at the floor. well 9:30 comes and goes and no one shows up. around noonish i went up to the office and asked if they were going to come and look at it. finally one of the guys comes over and changes out the compressor line on the air conditioner and he goes to leave and i say "well what about the water pooling on my bedroom floor" his response was " oh i don't know anything about that" mmmmmmm DUH that is what i called them about to begin with. so this guy goes into my bedroom and looks to see if he can find the source of where this water is coming from. and even he couldn't find it, told me that it was dry all the way up to the wall and he had no idea where it was coming from, and that i needed to put some towels down to soak it up. so i asked them to come back with a wet/dry vac to soak it up. so i watched some more tv and napped on the couch (that way if they came to the door i would hear them) well by 5 pm they hadn't shown back up.
so wed morning bright and early i go into the office. oh they will be there this afternoon to take care of your floor is what i was told. 4pm comes and no maintenance show up so i call the office and get the machine, yeah that isn't going to stop me (i know that the office workers look at the caller id before they answer the phone and if it isn't someone they want to talk to then they let it go to the machine) so i give it 30 more minutes and walk up to the office. talk to the lady in the office and she is frustrated when i tell her that they didn't show up so she calls them right away to find out what was going on and to get them to the apartment. the maintenance guy (the 19 yr old) comes in while i am still in there pissed off because he has to deal with this. sorry but there is water building up on my floor and i am not going to just "sweep it under the rug" by this point i am getting frustrated myself because it hasn't been fixed. hell this was the 2nd full day. well he comes over and pulls the carpet away from the wall says that he heard a spongy noise when he did so, so it has to be because the 3rd floor water heater had a leak in it, and the 2nd floor condensor on their a/c unit was froze up and this is the reason i have water pooling in my bedroom. at this point i was like " you have to be fucking kidding me" i have to suffer because the 2 idiots that live above me didn't get in touch with maintenance when their shit broke??
well why he was trying to rationalize this the office sent over carpet cleaning (my best guess was they were suppose to suck up the water in the carpet) well it didn't work, now not only did i have a spot that i could jump over i now have a 4 1/2 foot section as wide as my door that extends out in my hall that is SOAKING WET. by 7pm i pulled down my box fan and got it set up in the hall to assist in drying this carpet out.
ya know i figured that the box fan would have helped some but it didn't .. that thing has been running on high all night and the carpet is still soaked when i got up this morning. i even put 2 towels to cover enough area for me to walk (and try not to have cold wet feet) and they are soaked this morning as well as the carpet.
this morning i am going back to the office. i'm ready to give them the ultimatum that if it isn't dry by tonight then they need to move me to another apartment complex that they own that doesn't have this issue. and they will be paying for all my transfer fees in order to have everything changed to the new apartment. (those fees are around $120 hence why they will be paying them)
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OMFG
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Posted:May 16, 2014 11:22 pm
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2014 2:23 am
13131 Views
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Seriously why do people have to continuously state how bored they are in the chat room????
in the chat room that i am normally in there are a few that come into the chat on a regular basis and always whine about how bored they are and that they have no one to talk to or go out with. Seriously people it is a CHAT ROOM. if there is someone else in that room with you then you have someone that you can chat to, and if you don't feel like you can chat with that person then find a different room with other people in it.
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spur of the moment
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Posted:May 11, 2014 9:00 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2014 5:53 am
12779 Views
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friday when i was on my way to hutch my superman popped into my head, why he showed up friday of all days i don't know. it was probably about a month after i moved here to wichita i was having a really pissy week and i was irritated with the fact that everytime we would text he seemed to be really short with me and i felt as if he didn't want to talk at all, so in my pissyness i told him that i wouldn't bother him any more. i am one that doesn't like to feel as if i am bothering someone or being a nuisance to them and at that point in time that is exactly how i felt hence the reason i said what i said.
well out of the blue since he popped into my head and since i was on my way to hutch i texted him just a simple "hi". about every 20 minutes i kept looking at my phone to see if he had texted back to me or not. then there it was. since the message months ago about not bothering him he had taken my number out of his phone so he wasn't sure who the text was from, once the "who is this" explanation happened i really started to panic because i wasn't sure if he was going to text back again or not. i have to tell you when i got the text back from him my heart skipped a beat.
we texted back and forth for about an hour that night catching up on all that had been going on in the time that we hadn't talked, and i have to admit that my heart was racing the whole time. just the thought of this man turns me on and that scares the living hell out of me. having been married twice and believing that i was in love with both my ex husbands i NEVER had this feeling with them. right now my head can't process exactly what my body's reaction to this man means. i know if i start to over think things then i am going to be lost and will probably loose him.
during our conversation that we were having i made a comment about i was sorry that he was never in trouble and then laughed at it. the response that i got from him was "well you aren't here". talk about sending my heart into overdrive, i seriously thought that it was going to beat straight out of my chest, it was racing so fast.
i'm trying to be good right now and be patient and give him some space... but it is really hard not to text him to see how he is doing and how work went today....
oh why oh why does this man have to have this kind of reaction on me.
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Accountablity
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Posted:May 10, 2014 10:59 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2014 10:41 am
12982 Views
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okay for those who may be reading this and don't wanna read about someones rants then you might as well skip this one now.
tonight i am in the mood to bitch about accountablity, and trust me i have a ton to say on this subject. everyone that i know through out the course of their lives has a bitch about someone or some company.
well in the last 18 hours i have been thinking about how much of a lack of accountablity we have in our country. it isn't just one individual being accountable for their own actions it is so much wider then that.
this whole train of thought came about at 4 am yesterday morning when i was getting ready for bed. i have severe sleep apnea and have had it for years. i sleep with an a-pap machine every night (which i have done for years as well). according to my pulmonologist i am not to sleep without this machine. i received my new 90 box of supplies from the company that i have my machine through and that is suppose to be servicing the machine since due to my insurance for the first 13 months of having the machine it is a rental then after that it is mine. so since it was on my mind (having hit the box that was on my floor with my foot) i figured what the hell it was the best time as any to change out my mask, filters, water tank and hose for my machine. i go to pull off the hose that is attached to the back of the machine and a C shaped plastic ring comes off the machine with the hose. i put it to the side so i could figure out where it came off at and pulled out the water tank (since my a-pap machine provides heated humidity as well) and the piece that the hose attaches to fell into the bottom of the chamber for the water tank. i look to see if i can put this stupid thing back together so i can go to bed and i can't get to to fit so i call the company that the machine is through. since they are suppose to do the repairs on this machine and am told that they won't service it nor bring a temp replacement out until their next business day. mmmm excuse me this is bright and early saturday morning and if any of you have ever dealt with a medical supply company they feel that they need to have hours that are limited more then a banks hours.
per my contract with my insurance that is renting this machine in order for me to have it through them it is considered durable medical equipment. basically i have to have it to sustain a certain level of life. not only that my doctor states that I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH IT ALL THE TIME.
after calling my insurance and dealing with a supervisor she contacts the medical supply company and they state that they have to wait til business hours on sat to come out to fix it. mmmmm what happened to this being durable medical equipment? finally because i am done dealing with the bitch with the company that the equipment is through i agree to that and set myself in for a night without sleep. yee haw for me.
after dealing with multiple phone calls from this company in the morning i am still sitting without my machine being fixed or having a replacement by the afternoon. so i contact my insurance again. oh this supervisor states that she went to her immediate supervisor and was told to tell me that there isn't anything that can be done until monday. then proceeds to tell me that if i have issues then i need to go to the ER. So from this phone call i find out that my insurance would rather pay for me to sleep in a hospital room for 2 nights then make the damn company that they are already paying for this equipment to be accountable to the contract that is in force.
in my eyes there is a huge problem with this. seriously you want to have to pay out $1800 for 2 nights in the hospital, plus all the cost of my medication that i am currently on while i am in the hospital because they won't let me use the prescriptions that i already have.
needless to say i am sitting here again tonight without sleep. come 7 am monday morning i am going to be going on a rampage because to me this is complete and total bullshit.
the medical supply company should be held responsible for their equipment and servicing the equipment under the contract no matter if it is during normal business hours or not. it isn't like this is a bath chair this is a machine that forces air into my lungs when i sleep in order for me to continue breathing. and they are seriously making me wait until monday morning?
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mothers day
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Posted:May 8, 2014 12:25 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2014 3:58 pm
12775 Views
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with mothers day weekend looming upon me i have seemed to have my thoughts on my mom a lot more then usual. in the society that we live in it dictates that the 2nd sunday in may is to be designated to celebrate our mom's. yes usually on this day when my mom was alive i would do additional things to show her how much she meant to me. but one thing that i guess that people need to know is that it didn't have to be "mother's day" in order for me to get my mom a bouquet of flowers just so i could see the smile on her face.
just like every out there my mom and i had our ups and our downs through out my life. but no matter what she was my mom and i loved her and would have done anything for her.
being that this is the first mother's day that i am spending without being able to hear her voice is what is making it more emotional for me then any others that have gone through in the last 39 years of my life. i know from the experience of having lost my dad 22 years ago that this holiday will get easier with time for me.
i guess that the thing that i want to say the most is that for you out there that read this if you still have your mom in your life (no matter how close your relationship is with her) cherish the time that you have together, don't let it just be the 2nd sunday of may when you show her that you appreciate and love her. none of us knows how long we are going to have with our mom's and it is better to show them how much they mean to you before you don't have that opportunity to do so.
for my mom, i'm lucky that she knew how much i loved her and appreciated her when she went to heaven.
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i will never....
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Posted:May 6, 2014 3:49 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2014 12:26 pm
13513 Views
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...... cease to be amazed by some things....
i purchased my computer roughly 15 months ago, along with it i made sure that i got the extended warranty because i know my luck and desktops and usually about 13 1/2 months after having it then i have issues with hardware. so to me it is worth the extra few hundred bucks. i called the companies warranty department because my luck never fails and at times (which are starting to become more frequent) it sounds like i have a 747 in the tower of my computer. ya know i am not a computer repair tech but i am smart enough to know that means that my fan is starting to go out, and i am also smart enough to know that since it is under warranty that i will not be cracking the case open on it myself.
well i get on the phone with the tech support since that is what i have to do first and the guy that i talk to is really nice not an issue with him, he agrees with me that it sounds like the fan is going to have to be replaced because he can hear it in the background while we are on the phone. then he proceeds to tell me that i am going to have to mail my tower in to them to have it fixed... HUH WHAT????
i know that i live in Kansas, but Wichita is NOT that small of a town (yes there are more then 2 stoplights) so why in the hell would I have to mail this into somewhere I don't know in order to have the fan replaced??? Seriously I could do this repair in like 5 minutes and the majority of that is going to be the removal of the case panel. So after a bit of grrrrr'in (mind you i didn't grrrr at this tech to badly because he was pretty nice and fully agreed with me that it was basically bs that i didn't have anyone local that could fix it) he told me that i would need to talk to one of the supervisors and they would get it set up that i could go to an "outside" tech.
Well after playing tag with the idiot supervisor she leaves me the name of a computer tech place here in wichita along with their phone number, in the message on my voice mail where she left this, she also states that i will have to find out exactly where they were located at here because all they had for them was a PO Box... mmmm can you say red flag right there??? i tried to call the number that she left me and all i got was "the number you are trying to reach is disconnected" i called back to speak with this specific supervisor again only to be informed again that i need to mail my pc to them in order for it to be fix... mmmm... seriously people i have already told you more then once that wasn't going to happen what do you really think has changed in the last 48 hrs to change my mind. DUH?!?!?! then we started to play phone tag again.
well in my infinite wisdom because i was extremely pissed at this point. i called the corporate offices and talked to a supervisor there. this supervisor told me to set up an appointment with the "geek squad" and for those of you who know what company they are affiliated with, the company that i bought my computer from was not theirs.
okay now back to the original reason on why i started this post in the first place.
i get my appointment set up with the geek squad for them to come to the house to check out the computer (only to find out that i was right to begin with or at least that is what i am figuring is going to happen when they get here). well yesterday the "tech" with the geek squad calls me and to verify the appointment that is set up for here at my house today. then he goes, well is there any way that you could bring the computer into 1 of our stores instead? MMMMM EXCUSE ME???? the whole reason i didn't throw a fit when the corporate supervisor suggested the geek squad to me is because i knew that they would do in home service on the computer versus me having to take it somewhere. this is part of what i am going to be paying for... why the fuck would i set up for a technician to come to my house to fix my computer if i wanted to take it into a store???
it really really makes me wonder some days
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just more blah blah blah
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Posted:May 5, 2014 2:03 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2014 8:03 pm
13233 Views
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i have sat and started thinking lately on the fact that i should start blogging a lot more then what i do especially since this is probably the best escape that i can have. lord knows that i am not one that goes to my friends to really bitch about the problems that i am having because they are my problems and not their burden, so i think that i am going to really start getting into blogging about what is going on.
today was one of those days that i really needed to get out of the house and out of town. went up to salina and saw a friend of mine and had a good time catching up and having some really decent mexican food for lunch.
alas though before i left i started to feel like i was in the way and keeping him from doing what he needed to be doing most.
there are so many different things that are weighing on my mind right now i am not really sure where i should start or exactly how much i want to share with the world on the inner workings of "Mia". i guess the later part of that is the fear that if people know all that make up me then they won't like me any longer, but on the other hand if they are only liking me for a small part of me that they see then are they truly friends anyways.
the other night in the chat one person made a comment that she was hurt by some things that i had said. i started to think about what it was that was said and it honestly made me chuckle that she was hurt because i only repeated her words in question form to another friend of ours. so it started making we wonder if she was hurt because i questioned what she said or she was hurt because she was caught in a lie. guess i won't really know the answer to that one. at this point i really wonder if i really care to know the answer to it. looking back over our "friendship" it really seemed to be one sided anyways. when we communicated, unless it was in the chat room, it was when i called her, it never went the other way around. if she was to call me it was to return a call that i initiated. so what am i really missing out on? yes i understand that people do have busy lives, i have been there done that, and still do from time to time even though i am medically retired, i guess i just feel that the phone works both ways.
since i do have the option with different posts i think that i am going to start doing 2 different types of blogs.. one that i post that everyone can see and then one that i post that are for my friends only. i'm sure that not everyone wants to hear some of the rants that i have going on through my head right now and for me that will still fulfill the part of not letting everyone know all.
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To link to this blog (mia_coy) use [blog mia_coy] in your messages.
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|
291
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
