Please sign the guest book...
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張貼於:2007年 7月 22日 1:43 am
最近編輯過:2008年 5月 3日 1:12 am 12560 瀏覽
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Please leave a print so I can return to you.... and if you don't have a blog... so you can also be in my thoughts!
If you are one of my watchers please do let me know, why do you keep coming over again and again 
Cheers !!!!
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15
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Hybrid Scooter Gets 140 MPG
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張貼於:2007年 8月 11日 8:42 pm
最近編輯過:2007年 9月 15日 9:42 pm 10603 瀏覽
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With all the focus on our environment over the last few years, hybrid cars have become a viable and popular form of transportation. Those preferring an open air method of travel will like the hybrid scooter from Piaggio.
This scooter is rated for up to 140 MPG and is powered by Piaggios HyS system combining a hybrid combustion engine with an electric one. With normal operation the high-efficiency combustion engine charges the electric unit. The electric unit provides more power during starts.
Three scooter models will be equipped with this system, the Vespa LX, Piaggio X8 and the three-wheel MP3 pictured here. The HyS system will also allow the scooters to run in emission-free mode for up to 12 miles. Sorry guys, the leather clad hottie isnt included.
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PBJ
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張貼於:2007年 8月 3日 2:12 am
最近編輯過:2008年 5月 3日 1:15 am 11757 瀏覽
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Last night for dinner I finally made a traditional American recipe that I have heard about but never really tried. Apparently it is a favorite of many school children for their lunch. It is called, strangely, the ‘Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich.’ I had to make several trips to the grocery because even though I have random spices like grey fennel and weird vegetables like Quorn and Clamatos in myriad quantities about my house, I didn’t have the necessaries to follow the recipe.
The first and most important ingredient in this sandwich is peanut butter. Apparently this can be easily purchased at any normal grocery store but I decided to try to make it myself. I hulled a bag of peanuts leftover from a Cleveland Indians game last year and ground them into tiny bits. Then I stirred them into some melted goat butter and put the mixture into the fridge to thicken. Next on the list was strawberry jam or strawberry jelly. I tried making jam first but that didn’t work out so well. I had heard from someone once that little strawberries get upset when they are in a jam- so I threatened them. I told them I would puree them, mix them with sugar and boil them. I figured that would be considered a pretty tough jam to a strawberry. But those were mean buggers, they stayed just the way they were. I decided to go the jelly route.
We have a big tub of petroleum jelly that I am quite fond of in the bathroom. I took it out and realized that I’d already used most of it. So I had to go back to the store and buy some more. The clerk looked at my kinda funny and mentioned that this was the third tub I’d purchased in the last three days. I’ve really got to cut back. Anyway, stealing one from my peanut butter recipe I mixed the strawberries into the petroleum jelly. It didn’t look too appetizing but who am I to judge what children will eat.
The last thing was white bread without crust. Thankfully, I have a special friend named Whitebread. He is quite crusty unfortunately. His hygienic habits mirror my own, that is, he has none. It was easy to get him naked but a bit harder to coerce him in front of the fire hose. Once I turned it on, the crust was knocked right off of him. I apologized and lured him back into my place with promises of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Apparently, he had eaten those as a child.
Once I had him securely tied to the bed as usual I came back with the thickened peanut butter and my freshly made jelly. I spread it on thick, using a putty knife. Then I cut him in half diagonally [as per the recipe] and ate my sandwich with some Tang and Cheesy Poofs. I’m going to have to make PBJ more often.
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
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張貼於:2007年 8月 1日 9:52 am
最近編輯過:2007年 8月 31日 10:38 am 11340 瀏覽
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1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba,
Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
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4
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MWB's Rules of Interstate Driving Etiquette
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張貼於:2007年 7月 29日 11:41 pm
最近編輯過:2007年 8月 2日 10:53 pm 10887 瀏覽
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• When merging and you are in the yield lane, yield you motherfucker. And for chrissakes speed the fuck up on an on-ramp. You should be going at least 60 by the time you reach the merge area on the interstate.
• When on the interstate and approaching a merge, move one lane to the left, if possible. This means that neither you nor the dumb motherfucker who wouldn’t know how to yield if his arms and legs were cut off by Graham Chapman have to slow down.
• If your car won’t go over 50mph, get the motherfuck off my interstate or I will beat you like a rented mule.
• If you are in the fast lane and a faster car comes up behind you, get the fuck over before they have to put on the brakes.
• If you can’t get the fuck over because there is an even slower motherfucker in the lane next to you, speed the fuck up so the motherfucker behind you doesn’t have to apply the brakes, and then get the fuck over as soon as possible.
• No matter how fast you’re fucking going, stay in the farthest right lane that you can, because there will be a faster motherfucker coming up behind you and you can avoid lots of hassle by staying in the slower lane where you belong.
• If you’re trying to be a motherfucking badass and merge from the fast lane to an exit lane in less than a quarter of a mile without using your turn signal, don’t get all pissy when I don’t let your sorry ass cut me off. I will fuck you up, motherfucker.
• If someone uses their goddamn turn signal, let them the fuck in your lane, unless you’re in a traffic jam and they are one of those ignorant fucksticks who think they can drive all the way up to the exact spot where their lane ends and stick their dicks in your lane. Castrate those dumbfucks.
• When exiting, don’t slow down until you’re on the fucking exit ramp. That’s what they’re fucking for.
Man, I haven’t gone on a rant in forever. That felt good. Yes, I know the title is redundant.
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13
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Disgrace by J. M. Coetzee
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張貼於:2007年 7月 27日 12:20 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 28日 7:24 pm 10461 瀏覽
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As was recommended to me, I read J. M. Coetzee’s Disgrace. And indeed it was a good book. Folks seem to like calling Coetzee’s writing “sparse;” and I guess you could say that. I tend to think that writers who are wordy don’t really know what they are trying to say. What comes through with Coetzee is that he has a keen and deft mind.
Anyway the book takes place in South Africa and the main character, David Lurie, is a selfish womanizing asshole, so I identified with him pretty well. Through the events of his life we are presented with angles on race, gender, class, sex and generational differences; as well as relations between Lurie and Byron, an old goat, and a crippled dog. But you don’t need to get any of that to enjoy the writing, empathize with the characters and be challenged by them as well. It is a book that can be read by anyone, and everyone who reads it likely gets something good out of it. So I’ll pass on the recommendation to y’all as well.
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1
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A FF ate it ....
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張貼於:2007年 7月 26日 6:28 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 30日 6:58 am 10644 瀏覽
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For those of you who need that extra day to accomplish a report, spreadsheet etc. now there is a new excuse.
The dog ate it was cool, but it is old school. Here is how it goes, I had to print out some shit for work yesterday, and my printer being out of ink, I figured I'll just post it here on A FF and print it when I get to work. Great idea, not !!!
When I get to work no post to be found, so I lamely told my boss that A FF had eaten my post. His response "yeah yeah lots of bugs with that site lately"  Damn he knows what A FF is, and had been on here long enough to know about the bugs lately !!! So, on top of weaseling out of the task for the day, I do know my boss is on here too, next time he assigns me a spreadsheet I am threatening him with calling his wife and letting her on his 'lil secret  .
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5
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How many bloggers does it take...
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張貼於:2007年 7月 19日 9:19 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 29日 8:38 pm 10564 瀏覽
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They say imitation is the best form of flattery... I swiped this from our friend [blog sighberella] sighberella
1 to change the lightbulb and to post that the lightbulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing lightbulbs.
5 to post how the lightbulb could have been changed differently.
3 (females) to complain about the number of men who send them pics of their worn out bulbs and that all they're looking for is someone to screw it in.
12 to be inspired by the original post and do their own post on the expanded topics of which method of changing lightbulbs is superior, where to buy the best lightbulbs, what brand of lightbulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
5 to blog pimp the original post.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing lightbulbs and the need for safe lightbulb changing behavior.
6 to argue over whether it's lightbulb" or "light bulb."
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
13 to condemn the 6 who condemned the previous 6 as narrow and biased and to ban them from their own blogs.
6 (a whole new 6) to post about the division of the lightbulb/light bulb people and how this argument is ruining blogland.
57 to relate the topic to oral sex, sexual positions or baseball.
3 to create a new blog community on a whole nother site to get away from the controversy.
4 to be totally oblivious and not even notice the difference between "lightbulb" and "light bulb."
Another 4 to notice the difference and not give a shit.
7 to try to divert the focus by talking about soft white bulbs and long lasting bulbs.
16 to accuse the 7 of racial bias and stereotyping.
15 to claim experience in the lighting industry.
19 to make reports of abuse and to "suggest" that certain bloggers take their comments elsewhere.
An unknown number who comment and accuse an unknown number of bloggers of comment whoring, said numbers being unknown because said comments get deleted by alleged comment whores who in turn accuse an unknown number of bloggers of being comment whores...
11 to defend ALL comments, saying that we all use lightbulbs (and light bulbs), whether soft white or longer lasting or not, and therefore all posts are relevant and all bloggers have the right to their viewpoints on lightbulbs (or light bulbs).
7 to post URLs where one can see examples of different lightbulbs, said URLs being replaced by A F F's URL.
4 to post the correct URLs cryptically.
Another 27 stating they can't figure out the URLs and to please e mail the information.
464 to respond to the original post, the blog pimped posts, and the inspired posts with the comment "Great post."
5 to post they will be deleting their blog and going elsewhere because they can no longer tolerate the attitudes and divisiveness in the blog community.
4 to say, "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
3 to tell a funny story about their cat and a lightbulb.
1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now with something unrelated and start it all over again.
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How do you explain it to the wife ?
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張貼於:2007年 7月 18日 7:35 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 22日 8:33 pm 10987 瀏覽
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As you all know, this kid is an avid fisherman. I'll forage the ocean for anything edible day in day out. Sometimes, I'll even feel adventerous enough to try calamari or seaweed salad.
Last night I was fishing, again... and all I cought was crabs.
Now, how do you come home with a pail of crabs and say "Hi honey, I was fishing and I caught crabs" with a straight face... Help a poor guy out ?
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3
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1967 vs 2007
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張貼於:2007年 7月 15日 2:43 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 17日 9:14 pm 10606 瀏覽
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scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967- Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007- Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1967- Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1967
- Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1967- Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 -Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1967- Ants die.
2007- ATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1967- In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007- Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
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5
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Things Google can find
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張貼於:2007年 7月 14日 7:44 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 14日 9:19 am 9663 瀏覽
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While Passion was down for the upgrades to combat my boredom and googled random shit like The Heimlich maneuver , it is amazing what google can find :
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Ignorance is....
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張貼於:2007年 7月 11日 9:18 am
最近編輯過:2007年 7月 30日 2:13 pm 10598 瀏覽
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Oh well, by the number of comments I recieved on my last post nobody is inerested in some serious adult conversation so here goes nothing.
Couple days ago, we are out shopping at one of those big box stores (when you have 3 tots shopping elsewhere doesn't make sense as we go through 200 diapers, 1000 baby wipes, 24 rolls of toilet paper, 18 rolls of paper towels/week... and I am gonna give a black eye to the first sassy bitch that says paper products destroy rainforests and I should be using cloth instead)
Anyhoot... for this reason or that... we were waiting for mom... again... and this nice lady says "I do have beautiful children"; I kindly thank her, and add "They take after their mom"..... to which after looking at me for a second she replies :
"Yupp, it shows"
Ignorance is bliss... and I am gonna give the next summavabitch a blackeye who claims otherwise !
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