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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
The original rump shaker
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The original rump shaker I'm wearing a maroon shirt over a red shirt right now , its a frickin' eyesore . Can you fathom what it would be like to have an actual sore on your eyeball ? I can't . You don't hear drug dealers called pushers much anymore . I suppose that's because they figured out people want drugs , they weren't being pushed on them so much . The Old Dirty Bastard has been dead for a while . I feel like by now we should have elected a New Dirty Bastard . You know what people say that is a very annoying thing to have said "How was the funeral ?" What's the response supposed to be to that ? "It was great ! Can't wait to get to the next one !" And then pretty much no matter what you say they follow it up with "I want to express my condolences ." And if you say "Okay , go for it" suddenly you're an asshole . The other day I was robbing this lady and I says to her I says "give me your clutch !" and she was all like "what ?" and I says to her I says "your bag , give me your bag !" and she says "this is a purse not a clutch" and I says to her I says "its got no strap a purse have to have a strap !" and she says "its too big to be a clutch , and sometimes clutches have little wrist straps" . So we had this big fight about what I was trying to steal and we ended up 69ing in an alley behind the light sculpture . It was okay but it wouldn't have been better if I wasn't laying in a dirty alley . So is there a clear demarcation between a purse and a clutch or what ? Oh no , the internet says that a purse is a bag that has no handles - I've been calling handbags purses for years !  Did you know there's several images out there of naked women putting the wrestling move the camel clutch on another naked woman ? I didn't . A lady instant messaged me today saying she got my mail by mistake and as we were arranging to meet I said so she could recognize me "I'm a fatman in a maroon shirt with a goatee" but what I didn't consider is that she might be fatter than me . So probably that was offensive . I guess I was being self-centered not being careful with my words in regards to what she might look like . Also I thought that made it sound like the shirt has a goatee , but even if I said "with a goatee wearing a maroon shirt" that just makes it sound like the goatee is wearing a shirt . Stupid English language . Note to self , start making and selling shirts for goatees . Sometimes there's species that look and act so much alike science people can only tell them apart with DNA tests . To which I say , aren't they she same species then ? If aliens came here and they looked just like us and acted just like us and even spoke French like we do , even if they DNA was completely wonky wouldn't they be humans ? I say yes . Hot on the heels of the toilet paper fiasco I noticed today I bought two of the same shirt . My head has not been in the game lately . What am I going to do with two of the same shirt ? I guess I can keep one in my handbag in case I have to rip the other one off dramatically . I also bought a new comforter set for my bed . The first night I slept with it on said bed I was hot as balls so I thought it was a poor purchase , but then I realized the next few nights that was just because someone else was also sleeping in the bed and the body heat of someone next to and partially on me was what was doing it . I need a bigger bed if I'm going to be doing that . But for that to work I need a bigger bedroom . But for that to work I need a bigger house . But for that to work I need a bigger paycheck . I don't know how that works . And finally , Daniel Bryan retired yesterday , which wasn't unexpected really - the dude hasn't been able to wrestle for over a year , but its a bummer . He's 4 years younger than me and he's had at least 3 dozen concussions . So it sucks on several levels , but its also one of those things that reminds me that wrestling is bad and I shouldn't support it . You can say wrestler know (or should know) the risks and make their choices , but we as a society are supposed to not make that choice viable . If no one watched wrestling no one would do it right ? With football you can at least rationalize that they have a chance to be set for life and they might be willing to take that gamble but very , very , very people get rich via wrestling - well , very few wrestlers anyway . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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And if a clutch has built-in credit card compartments, is it really just a very very large wallet? It's all so confusing. Depending on how often you have women sleeping with you, it's probably cheaper to occasionally get a hotel room with a king bed than to buy a new house. Which leads me down another thought path. Here I bought this house that's more house than I need, just so I would have the space to throw parties. It would be nice if one could rent out a palatial home a couple times a year for entertaining, and live someplace more reasonable sized (and affordable) the rest of the time.   
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You could have said that you were a goateed fat man wearing a maroon shirt ... stupid English loses to smart sentence structure. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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When someone tells me they're sorry my relative died, I always have this urge to say, "Why? Did you kill them?" Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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